My Teen RomCom is Not Really As I Expected
by Damian Keibetsu
Summary: Everybody knows Hikigaya Hachiman, the self-proclaimed 'King of loners', who agreed against his will to help the Service Club with the requests of Sobu High's students. But as he starts little by little to be a bit more appreciated by a few people, a question soon arises: How much do they REALLY know Hikigaya Hachiman? SI/OC (Story currently under revision, no beta reader).
1. IntroductionAuthor's noteUpdate

This is a disclaimer, not a new chapter.

This may sound solemn and it is, for many reasons. It has come to my attention ever since I started writing and publishing this story that from the feedback I got throught reviews, many people were complaining about quite a few things. And some others probably didn't take the time to read the resume correctly or at all. Let's start in order with the most ancient reviews before adressing the complaints:

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Start of the story November 17th 2019.

_A. chapter 5 . Nov 20, 2019_

_Hey this shit is cool but just saying only make the MC tell his past to few people not everyone...ie: Yuki, YUI, Komachi...also if romance...hikkik x Yuki x hiratsuka x [komachi if you want? ]..just dont separate lovers or make this some tragic angst bullshit._

_C. chapter 2 . Nov 19, 2019_

_Simply fantastic, I hope it continues._

_A. chapter 7 . Nov 21, 2019_

_Hey still cool story..all I once again ask is that this is some tragic or angst filled shit where you separate/ or make lovers cheat like some korean drama shit cause there are already hundred of that out there. Make this happy and fluff...And this really isnt a suggestion._

_Also for romance the parings Hikki x yuki x hiratsuka..cause its would be nice...Reject Yui..dont hate her but its just that they dont have anything in common._

_In conclusion this shit is good just dont make this some tragic and angst korean drama shit.._

_Goodshow goodluck author_

_Let it be known that I dont hate Koreans..its just that there romance is mostly retarded..._

_W. chapter 4 . Nov 19, 2019_

_Best girl and 8man got genuine ending no loner ending_

_r. chapter 7 . Nov 21, 2019_

_Beautifully executed idea, and a unique one at that. Love this, and also like the fact that MC is actually similar to Hachiman in some aspects._

_I'd go with Hikigaya x Hiratsuka-sensei or Hikigaya x Yukinoshita, but a polyamorous ending doesn't sound the least bit bad._

_I'm curious about how this turns out later on._

_And, Hachiman being skilled in life skills, great addition._

_A. chapter 9 . Nov 22, 2019_

_yes bitch yes...Damn...who knew...yes bash the shit out...PS: paring hikki x hiratsuka x yuki x [add komachi or saki if you want ]...just dont separate yukki... or add Yui and Murai to MC..leave them.._

_Like what you did with MC...I think this is the second fanfic where Hachiman isnt a bitch and knows how to fight...its all good...add some fight scenes and make MC win...[fanfic what else you want]..make the MC save the girls and in turn them him...either way just dont make this sad or separate lovers_

_r. chapter 9 . Nov 22, 2019_

_All right boys and girls, we have the real monster of logic out, from the confines of his tame facade._

_It's time to get some big guns and help him with his outbreak. Hell yes, we should._

_And the "big guns" isn't even a metaphor._

_Also, didn't expect a reply-section-to-reviews in the 8th Chapter. Thank you for your hard work and writing this amazing story._

_Also, I'm not exactly sad about the Kyoto Trip, as it would be completely different that it was in canon. There, he did it as a necessity, now he would do it because he wants to fix things. That makes it better, no matter how unsettling the premise may be. I like it, though._

* * *

So as you can see so far, 5 days and around 9 chapters in, everything is good and pretty much nice. A few 'pushy' expectations here and there to 'add/remove' someone from the pairing(s), but nothing bad. I don't necessarely like divulging who's gonna be paired with who because as mentionned previously, I 'go with the flow', I don't have a pre-planned script where everyone has a definite role and actions they do at a specific moment, even the MC/SI-OC.

But, eventually eventually when things have a decent start, displeasure isn't so far away, and I can get the idea. I too, am a reader **before** being a writer, and if I spend time reading something that has a good beginning but suddenly things turn south for whatever reason, I'm going to be a bit pissed and tempted to ditch the story to hopefully find a better one.

* * *

_A. chapter 1 . Nov 21, 2019_

_I don't know what you are attempting to do by putting spaces at your punctuation marks, but it convinced me that you probably has mental problems, and I wished I died of a brain aneurysm._

_T. chapter 12 . Nov 26, 2019_

_hot damn...YUI you...argh_

_(Although, I'll give the benefit of the doubt for this one)_

_A. chapter 14 . Nov 27, 2019_

_this is just sad bru...disappointing...look I get that this is your book but why are you doing this...all the fans would've been happy with hikki x yuki x hiratsuka [ may be saki also ]...but now with all the other girls and the MC behaving more like a dark lord this is becoming stupid...MC's cool and hurt persona completely changed to some hard core bitch...the book went down hill from cp 10 or 11...kinda sad..it was good too..._

_Look its your book but you gotta listen to the fans opinion too..will still read and hope for improvement with badass MC_

_G. chapter 12 . Nov 26, 2019_

_The whole first names thing is a bit odd and the dialogue is a bit too long_

_A. chapter 16 . Nov 29, 2019_

_And so it begins...the fall...the higher the expectations..the greater the disappointment. :(_

_C. chapter 1 . Dec 25, 2019_

_You're not supposed to put a space inbetween the words and the quotation marks._

_" Thisis wrong, it should be "This"_

_C. chapter 1 . Dec 25, 2019_

_" Thisis wrong, it should be "This"*_

_Sorry I am just really peeved by mistakes like these_

_C. chapter 3 . Dec 25, 2019_

_Last thing don't do the thing where you put the punctuation mark after the end of the sentence, get someone you know to read it to at least get the grammar and formatting right._

_Because you're hurting me with your formatting man, please stop._

_N. chapter 1 . Jan 22_

_Just die and never try to write something again,no one normal man with more then half of brain can write this shit_

_D. chapter 3 . Jul 8_

_It was good up to the point it became an SI_

_X. chapter 1 . Jul 31_

_...why do you put extra spaces between every single punctuation mark? It's a complete mess to look at, let alone read._

_F. chapter 20 . Oct 10_

_so you're pulling an emiya here..._

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**As someone who has never read/watched the Fate series, (I know, that may be weird) can somebody please explain to me what this reference is about? You can throw Naruto, Bleach, or even Jojo references at me and I will get it, but it's kinda hard when it's about something you know _shit_ about... Anyway.**

* * *

_D. chapter 3 . Oct 12_

_Too bad, the story was really interesting at least until he had to reveal himself, good luck to those who stay._

_S. chapter 21 . Oct 13_

_loL oK ReTarD LmAo nGL tHiS aBsOluT kRinGe InDucinG aND bRAin DamAjinG uWu lOLs hOp u dLe LmAo rEaTreD_

* * *

I actually have to repeat myself here, because I already made a small disclaimer at the very beginning of chapter 1, and it's related to the issues pointed by C. who reviewed on Christmas of 2019. I am **not** english, I don't use google trad or very rarely, hence why some of my phrasing might seem weird to native english people. I've been out of school and the scholar system for quite a few years by now, so yeah, my english isn't as polished nor good as it once had possibly been. I do as well have a bit of an OCD and get triggered sometimes upon seeing some mishaps. (One example would be how a **lot** of people mispell the word Rogue, to Rouge, which is the French word for the color red..).

On a very Hachiman-like matter, I blame school for the way I used to write, putting space between commas, periods, and quotation marks and literally everywhere. The teachers I came across in my youth may have been a bit overzealous because they literally **drilled **into our brains that 'to avoid making your written text look like a mess, you have to leave some space, so it's comprehensible' and I kept that habit up until recently. So on that point, lesson learned!

Dialogues being more like monologues? Hmm, this one will be a harder point to defend!

Well, this one will be a harder point to defend. It would actually be best to start with what I consider to be the main source of the problem.

I doubt that in the first summary of the story, I said at any point that this was going to be an SI-OC story, with Hachiman **not being** the true Hachiman from Oregairu, and that probably made some people upset or confused, and I partially take the blame for it. But while I can understand the decision to leave the story due to this fact, it also baffles me how quickly it can be done. Yes yes, I said earlier that I do too have a slight tendency to do that, but I don't post negative reviews to the author to let them know that I'm butthurt because their work didn't met my expectations.

So, back to monologuing. Since this is a SI-OC, the character is based on the author/writer (me) for the greater part. May it be from his past, his views, opinions, actions, you could say it's how **I **act, how **I** am 95% of the time IRL. Based on that, the OC/MC is a normally very quiet guy who dislike small talk, and is halfway similar to Hachiman in his loner and perceptive ways, minus the chuunibyou and siscon complexes. Whereas Hachiman will hesitate, beat around the bush and lower himself, the MC won't and will act quite opposite to that.

Where one is a teenager on his second year of high school, the other is a few years away from being twice the age of the former, which means more life experiences, more time spent on reflecting on his past actions, what life had given to/taken from him...

In this story, the MC has already lived his life, and wasn't expecting anything afterwards, much like how Hachiman is at the beginning of the series. It changes the perspective of the former however when he learns he **now**, by some sort of sick joke, has become Hachiman. Knowing that Hachiman would've mostly led the same life as the canon story without the MC unfortunate 'arrival' and robbing the teenager of his future, this reawakens the negativity buried inside the MC's soul, and he has one year to not only deal with his own conflicted feelings, but can't let anyone know the truth as of yet. And so, he forcefully returns to his old ways of burying more and more negativity, but this time under a new name.

* * *

_T. chapter 22 . 15 Oct ago_

_Okay, for anyone who reads these comments, this story is a basic 'OC dies and takes over MC body' fic with changes to how MC acts because of OC's own choices in the matter._

* * *

**HALLELUJAH!**

And **THIS** up above is **exactly** what I wanted and like to see. Because that's what the story is about! The SI-OC **becomes** the MC because of circumstances beyond his own control, and has to, once more, deal with negativity just when he thought he was done with those feelings once he died. While it is not exactly known what Hachiman has been through in his past, except mentions of bullying and ostracising, the OC turned MC went through some of that too, and unlike Hachiman, has been the kind to hold a grudge over events and people.

Resentment turning into anger, bitterness and downright hatred is a downward spiral that **no one** should have to experience in life, as it literally destroys you both inside and outside. So when the MC has to 'play Hachiman' and go through the painful process once again of taking everything thrown his way in stride, let's just say it doesn't work too well. Over the course of his years of change before his death, the OC became more asocial, blunt, and silent for most of the time.

However, that demeanor changes when someone confronts him as he is no longer one to take the short end of the stick, and will fight back, going as far as to expose other's weaknesses he knows about, and won't hesitate to be cruel and drive the final nail in the coffin. He fights back with the only way he now knows and uses, facts and truth, using violence as a last resort. He applies the _Scienta potentia est _(Knowledge is power.) theme and isn't afraid of breaking people's illusions of the 'perfect World' they live in to bring them back down to the cold and harsh reality.

Despite that, he still retains a very few of his former traits, some of them being that he likes animals, especially cats, highly dislike people who act all _high and mighty_, injustice, cowards...

That is the result of what can happen, in real life, when you push the 'quiet kid' a bit too much. You don't expect him/her to retaliate when you're making fun of him/her, and are suddenly surprised and shocked when they lash out at you for legitimate reasons. It is the same principle as playing too much with a rubber band or poking with a stick a dangerous animal outside. It is merely an act of self-defense on their part, and you are the one to blame because you started it. But unfortunately, there are very few people who will acknowledge this as the truth and accept it, oh trust me, I know...

To resume this second to last point, he (the MC) will ramble and engage in long tirades to explain in detail/prove a point to his audience, in such a way that not only it will give more context, but also to make sure nothing in what he says will be misunderstood.

To finish this Author's note, diss-claimer, whatever you want to call it, I, the writer and author, am by no means a professional, not even an amateur at writing stories, writing fight scenes nor switching from one character's POV to another and vice-versa. I would say I am average if not below amateur in terms of skill, but I do nonetheless enjoy doing this, giving what would be my own take on the events on said story/stories from my own perspective. I don't do it for profit, for recognition or whatever, merely because it fills my empty days and I like it too.

* * *

_In the middle of writing what would've been chapter 23, I fell sick and caught a cold, or maybe even the flu. I don't know what it is yet, but headaches and a runny nose aren't often a good sign. Damned weather and damned year, seriously! _

_Instead of writing and posting a chapter each day like I did in the beginning, and leading to __**a lot **__of time spent in the correction/rewriting process, I plan on writing and uploading a chapter every 2-3 days, in order to publish a more polished version, rather than something I have to check and re-check every so often, because of small mistakes still present here and there._

_I would say that despite being behind schedule, I was already a good third to halfway done with chapter 23 before falling ill. So it will probably be out by tonight (10/16th at midnight UTC+2) or tomorrow the 17th._

_With all this large bit out of the way I want to know one last thing:_

_Can you list, without checking google, each band I used the songs of as references for my chapters' titles? _


	2. The Loner

**Edit 10/02/2020.**

Welcome readers, it has been a while since I last written a story, or even uploaded for that matter. Let's just say one bad thing never comes alone, and because of the fact that I am always displeased with my work in general (AKA whatever project I may start), whether it is music, writing, making videos, or anything else, I have a really bad tendency to do things on a whim. Add to that the fact that I am lazy by nature, that I had a serious writer block with a monstruous lack of creativity and to top it off, english not being my native language, you pretty much have a recipe for disastruous stories and a pathetic excuse as to why I'm coming back this late (again!).

However, depite being still a bit down psychologically speaking (anxiety, stress, depression, medication... ) I finally managed to get a hold of myself those past few days and decided to go back to rewrite (sort of) my fanfiction that takes place in the universe of OreGairu (or SNAFU).

I've been seeing, reading, re-reading, re-re-re-re-re-reading... (I guess you get my point now) a lot of stories from ALL the franchises I've been liking (from Naruto, Bleach, One piece, Harry Potter, GOT among others...) and while I certainly am the complete opposite of perfect,especially with the (how long has it been?) 9-10 months hiatus, I saw a lot of the usual stuff, some things I am also guilty of doing myself and which upsets me a great deal: Unfinished stories!

Poor grammar, half or complete lack of structure whatsoever in the narration or dialogues that nearly made me bang my head against the walls, and above those and many others, let's not forget it, _**Yaoi**_ !

Now now, before you point the finger at me, and it's a very rude thing to do no matter the circumstances, I try to stay as open-minded as possible, but homosexuality while not being a sin or something bad, just isn't my deal, and without proper warning and no filter for such genre, they tend to mix very easily with other stories and it's a bit disturbing to see that after an avid reading of an interesting plot for over 10-15+ chapters, two guys suddently start making-out or downright go for IT.

With that little ramble of mine being now done and closed, I (re-)propose to you this piece of my mind, and I have to warn you: As I said, english isn't my native language so mispellings, probable bad grammar and updates are a bit of a hazardous thing for me. On top of that, I added a little 'extra' that isn't part of the original story, along with a couple ideas by which I've been influenced and gave me some food for thought IRL.

_I reduced the amount of Jojokes because it was painful not only to read reviews/getting negative feedback from some chapters due to the excessive amount I used, but also because with this hiatus and taking time to go through it with a slightly different eye, I nearly made myself vomiting from the cringyness. For my defense at the time, Jojo season 5 (Golden Wind) was deeply engrained in my mind and probably in many others, so I thought that including a bit of distraction/comical relief/added intensity to certain parts of the scenario and events._

Pairings aren't set in stone as of yet because the story is barely (re-)starting, so there is still room for improvement and changes along the way. Though from those who have already read this story entirely, two girls are already pretty much (95% confirmed!). That aside, let it be said once more that I am merely going through the first 19 chapters written so far. I haven't done extra writing, merely corrections and removal/additions of some bits here and there. So I can't guarantee when the following chapters will come out, and how good/bad they will be. Just letting you know, so you're warned!

_Personal thinking, emphasize on certain words. _

Normal talk.

"Dialogue."

_'Use of a quote. (Whether from a conversation or a memory, if that makes any sense)'_

**"Who knows?"**

Therefore, without further ado, and hopefully without a soon _Adieu_, I present to you my own version of OreGairu.

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**Sobu**** Hi****gh School, second day of the cultural festival**

Now open to the public unlike yesterday, I, Hikigaya Hachiman am held responsible of a way too cruel task that I had hoped to delay for as long as possible, yet was unable to unfortunately. The device in my hands is exactly one of the things I hate being in front of, but in some sort of twisted luck, I fit the idea most people already had of me of being a 'creep', even though it's for a a legitimate reason.

I, Hikigaya Hachiman, am a photograph, tasked to collect pictures left and right, of the cultural festival and its progression with the corporate slaves that are the students' parents and many other who came to pay a visit to this annual school event.

It's not that the task is exhausting mind you, having to travel from point A to point B, take a picture as discreetly and stealthyly as possible without attractinng too much attention out of fear of being accused of being some kind of creep or stalker... again!

I hate having to work...

However it seems whatever God might (or not) exist didn't completly forgot about me and gave me a little breather as I was suddently clucthed in the warm embrace of this cute yet malicious angel that is my adorable little sister of mine that is Hikigaya Komachi.

"Onii-chan!" She exclaimed in a high pitch, ear-piercing squeal of delight.

"Komachi? You came alone?" I ask her, both a bit worried and confused that she is here alone, by herself. Not that I would've liked to see her with any guy, especially that little bug or that Chiba is a dangerous place for such a cute young girl, but you never know.

"Yup! I only came here to see you anyway. Oh , that certainly earned me a lot of Komachi points!" She says , the last part mostly to herself as she nods her head a bit before looking ahead in the hallway as if she was searching for something in particular.

"Where are Yui-san and Yukino-san by the way?" She looks in both directions not seeing the two figures of my clubmates , and I evasively respond that, according to my knowledge and because I don't really care much about it, Yuigahama should 'probably' be in our classroom, but due to her being an airhead I have a slight doubt about it, and as for Yukinoshita...

"I have no idea where Yukinoshita is." I say with a plain, disinterested voice, which reveals itself as my natural tone .

"So why aren't you in the classroom then?" Komachi asks me, obviously curious that I am in this corridor taking photos and nowhere near my two clubmates, or with my class.

_Even though you are cute Komachi , don't forget that I, Hikigaya Hachiman, am the self-proclaimed King of the loners. So don't ask such stupid questions when you perfectly know I don't meddle with those idiotic naive fools, woman!_

At least that's what I keep in my mind, with my mouth tightly shut. I wouldn't to either hurt her by saying those words, or take the risk of being heard an create an unwanted commotion due to how I treat a younger girl, especially my own litttle sister.

"I am... working..." I acknowledge, lowering my head in defeat, not able to keep the truth away from her pure soul, which turns out to be a crucial mistake, and I won't hear the end of it for a supposedly long time due to her reaction, as she snaps her neck back to looking at me in awe.

"Onii-chan is working?" She asks with her mouth and eyes wide open , in disbelief that the fated day had arrived way sooner than I thought it would've.

"I am so happy! What a strange feeling. It's as if you've finally grown up and find a place in life. I thought this day would never happen but I am so overjoyed about it!" She says while wiping a fake tear over the corner of her eye, with a tone of joy and pride.

_Seriously? No need to fret over it, it's not going to be happening that soon , or ever again. I was only outsmarted and pushed into doing it, but don't count me down as one of those pathetic slaves just yet Komachi! Your onii-chan still has a long, very long life of laziness planned ahead of him, and they won't catch me like they did. After all, except for being left in peace, all I need in life is you, my cute, adorable, little imouto! _

_Well... That sorta sounded like a true siscon, right now. Maybe Yukinoshita is right and I am slowly turning into a real siscon. Damn if that witch is right..._

"Yeah well, I said working but truth be told, I'm more like a lowly gofer. Nothing perticular about it, anyone can take pictures with this." I say while uplifting my hand with the camera in it.

"I see, then I'm gonna go check some things out there then. Later, onii-chan!" Komachi says as she makes a quick salute, before she twirls on herself and starts walking away with her usual bright smile on her cute face.

"Be careful." I quickly mutter while she is still in range to hear, and I let out a sigh, turning my head back, surprised to see Yukino Yukinoshita in the doorstep of a classroom with might seems a bit of a mixture between contemptment and seriousness.

As soon as our eyes meet however, her cold blue eyes narrow slightly and her mood looks a bit sour. Great job Hachiman, nicely done!  
We walk down the hallway next to each other, and she asked me the first question. Of course it was bound to happen, it's Yukinoshita after all.

"Hikigaya-kun."

"Yukinoshita..."

"Are you working?"

"...Afraid so. You?"

"Are you sure the Hikipervert hasn't been given too much leeway? Roaming the corridors and hallways, free to take indecent pictures of girls and women when they lower their guard because of a festive event? I fear for my chastity. Maybe I'll go grab some restraints, just in case..."

"..."

"Can't you tell by the camera hanging around my neck? It wouldn't do me any good to just _pretend_ working and come up at the end of the festival with no pictures of it, or what you said. Hiratsuka-_san_ would simply give me a one-way ticket to the nearest hospital, or an early grave." I answer back, earning what seemed to be a muffled an almost unperceptible giggle from said girl next to me.

_Except for the fact that I am Hikigaya Hachiman, woman! You can't hide those things from me, no matter how hard you try._

"That would be true indeed. I asked because I couldn't see you doing your task." Yukinoshita tells me as she looks at me with her lips slightly curved upwards.

"Well, I think I collected enough photos, visiting nearly all of the stands and attractions, and met my sister Komachi who came to visit before I could resume my work. So safe to say that I am done. How about you?"

"I'm on my way to the final meeting for the closing ceremony." Yukinoshita speaks before two girls run past us in a hurry, saying something about 'not enough seats' or something like it.

The two of us are kind of surprised, but we ultimately continue our path and soon arrive behind the stage.

"Sagami is missing?" Hiratsuka Shizuka, my homeroom teacher and advisor, asks with an air of concern on her face, and for a very good reason.

"Yes , I can't get through to her phone either." Replied Megumi Shiromeguri, the actual school council president, with worry in her voice, before Yukinoshita spoke up.

"This is bad. We can't hold the closing ceremony at this rate. And even if we try to substitute, it would still be difficult. We could get by for the closing speech and general stuff, but only Sagami knows the voting results of the Excellence Award and Community Award."

"Just make up the results for the award then. It's not like we officially announce the vote totally anyway." I suggest, placing the camera on a wooden shelf next to me.

All three females look back at me surprised, yet seemingly understanding where I'm coming from.

"Then you'll delay the award announcement until later, right?" I continue , until Yukinoshita answers my question with her own worried explanation.

"Worst case scenario yes. But there is really no point if we don't announce the community award here."

It was at this time that the buffoon known as Hayama Hayato and his little group came from behind us, with Yuigahama in tow, all of them seemingly exhausted, except for the blond prince himself who looked as perfect as ever. I sometimes wonder if he is some sort of puppet that comes in and out of its plastic protecting box, never a hair in the wrong place, never a drop of sweat... Is this guy even human to begin with?

After a quick few questions, Hayama convinced Miura to go for one last song without too much of a problem, since he was giving her his trademark 'pretty boy pleading look', causing her face to become red again, but this time not because of some sort of heat or exhaustion, just pure unadulterated commitment and devotion for him.

_Urgh, get the fuck out of here before I puke. This is as cliché and cringey as can be, and God knows I've witnessed a lot of that shit without complaining up until now, but that might be the icing on the cake._

After exchanging small talk about gratitude and the fact that he and his group could only earn about five to ten minutes for the search of Sagami, Yuigahama, the nice girl with a fairly large naturally developped chest, intervened and said that she wanted to help go looking for the missing piece of this puzzle.

"You won't find her by searching randomly, and time is not on our side, which means we can't waste it. Technically speaking, you'd only be able to even barely search a single place in that short window, maybe fifteen minutes." I swiftly say, cutting the grass underneath Yuigahama's feet in one fell swoop.

"Hikigaya-kun, if we could buy ten more minutes, do you think you can find her?" Yukinoshita asked me with seriousness written all over her face, choosing to place her trust in me.

Wow, to go that far witch, you really have to be desperate. But it somehow does flatter my ego to see you struggle and having to resort to lower yourself enough to ask a lowlife like me.

"I'll see what I can do, but no promises."

"Hikigaya-kun , we're counting on you."

"Good luck, Hikki!"

And with that, I effectively do a 'tactical withdrawl', disappearing while waving my hand lazily in the air.

_All is going according to plan. Now to pick up the final piece, and see how the other 'me' is doing with that useless pathetic wench..._

* * *

_In another universe, a tall man with brown hair and glasses smiled faintly as he felt the familiar weight of loneliness lift itself from his shoulders for a short moment, as if someone was sharing a common trait with him. Perhaps he would meet this person and see if they are 'worthy of interest', but for now, he had to keep playing his part in order to achieve his dreams of grandeur..._


	3. Heaven and Hell

_Do you have any idea how much of a pain it was to reread those chapters, and correct them? I have been at school like most people, taught how to read and write, and blame it on some zealous teachers or scholar program, but I, like my classmates through the years been taught to write while leaving a blank BEFORE and AFTER every sign, whether it is a comma, dot, an exclamation mark, etc, in order to, and I quote because it had been drilled so deep into my skull I still remember it to this day 'Making it easy and clear to read'. I have heard and read so many complaints about this 'perticular style' of writing, it almost drove me nuts. So I had to check and recheck every line, every word while doing the correction. It took me half a week! Every single day for more than 6 hours! FOR 19 CHAPTERS! _

_Well, on the bright side, now I'm slowly but surely getting the hang of it, so fret no more._

_With that said, on with the show!_

"You don't even know _'half'_ of it!" - sarcasm/irony.

"_**Well hello there**_." - Modified/altered voice.

* * *

On the rooftop of the school, one lonely figure stands next to the rail, leaning as she looks down before being pulled back out of her little trance by a noise she hears coming from behind her.

She takes a good look everywhere but sees nothing, until something raises itself on the top of the building's entrance. When it slowly is raised at its full height, it appears to be a humanoid shape with a mask on its face, white make-up, with two spiralling pattern on each cheek, two glowing red eyes, and its mouth slightly opened.

Unnoticed by her, at an angle she couldn't see, a tape recorder was strapped to the back of the human-sized doll, and was looking down at Sagami. A timer placed on the back of the head was down to zero, and had caused the doll to 'wake up' at a certain moment during the festival. The play button of the tape recorder was switched on by a very complex mechanism, and a distorted voice came out of the fake mouth through a speaker hidden inside the head.

_**"Hello Minami, or perhaps should I call you Sagami-san? Hmm, maybe President would be the correct title, that is, if you were doing your duty, but obviously, if you are there, it means you aren't, and are full of empty promises. A selfish and superficial individual like many others nowadays."** _

_**"As you might know, the closing ceremony is about to start, so I would advise for you to go back. It would be unwise to stay here, it would leave a stain on your reputation, wouldn't you agree?"** _

"What does it matter to me? It has already started hasn't it?" Sagami answered back to the doll, before looking at some specific features of the person it was based upon, yet she couldn't be sure because of the mask. What kind of creep would do something like that? A creep? Wait...

_**"You might be asking right now '**_**why does it matter? The ceremony has already started, so why wasting your time searching for me**_**' don't you? Well as of now, everyone is buying you some time for you to return to announce the results, because it is your duty as President, a post you accepted and that comes with more responsabilities than your pitiful '**_**having fun**_**'. Oh and if you are wondering who would be creepy enough to know all of that, just think of someone perceptive, someone you idiots commonly refer as a '**_**creep**_**'. Like '**_**Creepigaya**_**', that kind of nickname..."**_

As she heard the nickname she gave him behind his back, Sagami was now sure this was Hikigaya Hachiman's work. So the creep has been smart enough to deduce she would be there beforehand? It seems he is a bit smarter than he looks. Wait, did he said 'They' were buying some time for her?

"Oh? And who is '_buying_' me this time?" Sagami asked as her brows furrowed in a scowl on her face.

A pause, and only silence was heard until the mechanical mouth opened again.

_**"I know that, like so many others, you don't picture me as anything else than a loner, a creep, someone who should even be there in the first place, and don't give me a lot of credit, not even one bit to be exact. As you might have realized, this isn't a direct live conversation between you and me, but a pre-recorded message to you, because I knew first-hand that you would be here. You see, when a problem comes in mind, I try to think of not only a solution, but also of all the little details, the parameters that you have to take into account, because one small mistake and the entire plan crumbles. As one might say **_**'If you are good at anticipating the human mind, it leaves nothing to chance'!**_**"**_

_**"I don't really have an idea as to who, right now, in this pre-recorded message might be doing you that '**_**favor**_**' you don't really deserve, but I would take a wild guess and assume it would be the work of Hayama, Miura, Yukinoshita, and the others."**_

A not-so feminine snort was heard as Sagami grimaced at the doll, clutching in her right hand the sheets of paper she was holding even tighter.

"Then Yukinoshita-san can just do it. She can do anything." Sagami said through gritted teeth, trying not to show how angry and upset she was, even to a replica of Hikigaya Hachiman.

**_"Is there a problem now? Oh yes of course there is one: you don't like Yukinoshita. She is the embodiement of perfection to you, and to many others. But you see, you are the only one who has something important, something of value. You have the announcement for the voting results and many other things concerning this cultural festival, something that even with her so-called '_perfection_' Yukinoshita can't guess. Besides as I say earlier, as soon as you agreed to be the main role in this even, you accepted to take responsability in your own hands for everything, good or bad, so it isn't something she can't do on your stead."_**

At this very moment, the door of the rooftop entrance opened, and Hayato Hayama and the two female unnnamed friends of Sagami Minami. As soon as she saw her friends, and especially the 'blonde prince', Sagami regained her composure a bit, looking a bit more frail and vulnerable.

After a few exchanges and some persuasion from her '_beloved Hayama-sama_', Sagami was on the verge of actually going back with them, but she froze once more when the voice from before spoke again, the distorted voice of Hikigaya Hachiman through his make-shift doll.

_**"I suppose that by now, the famous and beloved by all Hayama Hayato has finally found you, Sagami. So he, and probably your friends as well, are all reunited on this rooftop, willing to go back to square one, hand-in-hand, with smiles on your faces, as if it was all but a happy dream of yours. You truly are the worst."** _

Immediately , Hayama and Sagami's friends followed the glare she was giving at the doll who had its mouth open. Hayama instantly recognized the body features of 'Hikitani-kun' as he usually calls him, and wondered what was this about.

_**"Sagami, you want to be pampered like a capricious child. You are only doing all of this to gain attention, aren't you? If I were you, a drama queen in the making, trying to gain the sympathy of the people I like, I would probably say something along the lines of '**_**That's not true at all**_**' with a child-like voice and fake tears in the corner of my eyes, while trying to look fragile, like a cheap movie damsell-in-distress. It is painfully obvious that with that poor kind of acting, you wouldn't have what it takes to be a real committee chairman."**_

_**"No, you actually wanted to be like Yukinoshita deep down, didn't you? Like I said before, you don't like her because to everyone, including yourself, she is the incarnation of '**_**perfection**_**' . You were jealous of her, and wanted to be recognized by everyone like she is to be sought on, admired, relied on, yet what you are is nothing that a poor second-hand cheap imitation. That is the reason why you instantly clung to the title of committee chairman. You didn't questionned yourselves about the troubles it could actually cause, all you wanted was a superficial appreciation by everyone without doing all the hard work that goes along with it."**_

Hayama, Sagami and her two friends were now looking at the doll, with a mixture of anger and shock written on their faces as the fake and disguised Hikigaya Hachiman was scolding the girl, who was on the verge of having a mental breakdown because she couldn't handle so much truth harshly being thrown at her in such a fast and brutal way.

Worst of all, out of ANYONE who could have guessed that, it was HIM, the creep, Creepigaya as she called him! He had figured her out entirely beforehand, and made special preparations knowing fully well how the events would play out. She was a puppet, played and dancing in his hands while he was pulling the strings one by one.

_**"Not only that, but at the same time, you could validate your own sense of predominance by judging someone and looking down on them, the same way you, and many others have done on me, and other loners like me. That, is the true essence of the '**_**growth**_**' you so desperately wanted. Pretty much anyone smart enough should have figured this out by now, you know? I mean after all, I did, and look how little I actually knew, and still know about you. You may think that we are different, but we aren't that far off from each other. We are both residents of the lowest level of society. I, someone who couldn't care less about you, a rejected loner, a creep, a loser, someone no one would be involved with in the first place, was the first to find you."**_

**_"Well, I did find you, because I put myself into your shoes, even if momentarely, and was able to read your mind like an open book, and make an entire plan right before all of this happened. I knew you would be missing, that you would be hiding there, the entire reason why you would pulling such a stupid act, pre-recorded this entire conversation as a monologue, knowing exactly what kind of questions and answers you would give this doll. I was the one, the only one who saw right through you from the beginning, something no one, not even your precious so-called friends were able to do. That speaks about how they, or anyone else, truly '_cares_' about you, don't you think?"_**

"Hikigaya! Shut up !" Hayama Hayato, the perfect 'golden boy' of Sobu High , the idolized male who had kept his composure up until now, finally had enough and screamed at the top of his lungs at the fake Hachiman.

The doll kept being silent before a small giggle transformed into a full-blown laughter .

_**"I had imagined a lot of scenarios in my mind, how would any of you would react, but to think that the '**_**Golden Prince**_**' himself would lose his temper over something that doesn't even involve his little group? Over someone he doesn't even care about in the slightest? So you do have a much more colder and violent side indeed. Oh don't worry, I am not spying on you, I simply anticipated this possibility, even if it was very low. But to think I was right to such an extent... One thing though, I would advise touching this doll in any way, shape of form, especially if I were you. Who knows what kind of secrets it still contains? And should something happen to it, or to me, let's just say that I have enough proof to figuratively DROWN all four of you. So go ahead Hayama Hayato, pull your mask back on your face, and escort those '**_**ladies**_**' back where they should be. You have a role to maintain, and so have I. It is your '**_**duty**_**' as the good guy, the white knight in shining armour, after all."**_

The doll finished speaking, and Hayama escorted a crying Sagami and her two friends down the stairs as he closed the door behind him with barely restrained anger. He would never like, and always hate Hikigaya Hachiman, even if the guy got the job done, those methods were just awful and downright unforgivable.

"Why is this the only way you can do things, Hikitani?" He muttered under his breath, before losing himself in his thoughts now going a hundred miles per hour.


	4. Perfect Strangers

Warning: This chapter may throw you off the idea that this is a plain and simple rewrite of the events of the original story of OreGairu, and some events from this point onwards will cause some 'disturbances in the Force', perhaps causing some of you to be displeased by the turn of events. Some elements of the real world and real life experiences will also be included that may or may not be to your liking. Whether you wish to continue reading this story or not is entirely up to you . So without further ado, _**the choice is yours. Let the game begin!**_

**Separation with a line: Beginning of the chapter/Change of location and time**_  
_

Normal talk

"Talking"

'_Reading a note, a text, voice calls'_

_Inner thoughts _

_(1) You might have a better idea of the model by referring to 'bats in flight' while searching on Google for the Les Paul guitar. Too bad Gibson didn't released it before Halloween 2019. _

* * *

But before that, a few minutes after Hikigaya Hachiman had disappeared from backstage, someone was walking towards the group of girls who had just finished their songs, and were happily congratulating each other, even Yukinoshita Haruno chatting and teasing her former sensei. The girls all stopped, and curtesy of one Miura Yumiko who had came back with her friends minus Hayama, she recognized the figure as one very popular guitar player on the internet.

"Wait! Is... Isn't that?" She said, nearly choking on the water she had been drinking out of the bottle until now.

The figure was roughly around 5'8, and its gender was difficult to guess due to the androgynous frame, even though it seemed to be a male. A white porcelain faceless mask covering its face, a thick scarf covering the neck, a baggy plain black t-shirt with seemingly fake tattoos on his forearms and wrists, rings on three of his fingers, two on the left hand and one one the right ring finger, a large black baggy ripped jean with two silver chains hanging loosely on his right hip, and a red bandana cloth coming out of the left back pocket.

The hair were just a wig, but they were long, black and spiky, reaching the middle of his back, with shades of purple, similar to Yukinoshita Haruno, except darker. The figure silently crouched and opened his guitar case, pulling three things out of it. His signature guitar, a USB key, and a note written on a sheet of paper, giving the last two to Hirastuka Shizuka without saying a word, before standing in front of the closed curtain, ready to make his entrance on the stage.

His guitar was a very personalized left-handed flaming top Gibson Les Paul, dark purple and black(1), with a triple golden golden binding on the front, the back, and all along the neck. The logo on top of the headstock indicating that it was a Custom shop model, golden tuning Grover tuning keys, and matching lily flowers on the fretboard, where there would normally be block inlays, or trapezoidal inlays.

Yuigahama, the Yukinoshita sisters, Miura, Shiromeguri, everyone was shocked to see an actual popular internet 'idol' at their High School festival, especially unannounced.

Hiratsuka first read the note on the sheet of paper in her mind, blinking twice as she finished, before reading it out loud after seeing the looks of confusion from the others.

"_Play those songs. I can buy you some time, fifteen minutes should be enough. Some songs had some strongs words, so I had to change the lyrics a bit. I can't speak, but your friend Hikigaya can. Ask him about it, a favor is a favor and like him, I hate leaving some work unfinised, or being indebted to someone. So after today, me and him are even_."

So apparently, Hikigaya Hachiman once helped this person, whoever their true identity is, and he called for some 'help' without telling anyone about it.  
After tweaking a bit the buttons of the amps, plugging his guitar in, and receiving hesitants thumbs up, the figure went through the curtains and the crowd's shock soon turned into a mess of wild screams and loud chants. The music started playing and as told, well written on the paper, the performer did his job, playing four songs before silently thanking the crowd with a bow and a wave, went backstage to pick up his material, leaving as silently as he came.

No one uttered a word but in everyone's minds, it was complete and utter chaos. Questions upon questions came and disappeared without any concrete answer, until Hikigaya Hachiman came back almost five minutes later, informing everyone of his talk with Sagami while letting out a few details, that unfortunately wouldn't stay hidden from the rest of the school for long.

* * *

(**Hikigaya POV**)

As I was helping putting the stuff back into cardboard boxes, I could hear Sagami crying to herself and being cheered up by her friends, Hayama telling his friends about what 'I had said when I found Sagami on the roof', and several other students looking back at me with disgust and hatred, except for a few ones, including Totsuka, Kawasaki, Yuigahama, and Shiromeguri. I would have almost smiled back at them if two things didn't happened, back to back. Zaimokuza standing where Totsuka had previously been, nodding proudly at me before leaving to his own devices, and the familiar sound of the way too cheerfull "Yahallo" of the older Yukinoshita sibling, Haruno. I knew at that very moment that some kind of hell awaited me.

I turned to look to her and saw that there was Hiratsuka Shizuka walking just behind her. Yes, this seems to be the day I'll die, if those two are walking towards me. My life as definitely been as short and wrong as I expected, but I knew I had it coming, somehow.

"You really are the best, Hikigaya-kun! Everyone told me about it, that heel turn of yours. I like that kind of thing. Letting Yukino-chan have you might be a waste after all. Right, Shizuka-chan~?" She said, patting me on the back, turning towards Hiratsuka before going her own way, with a wide smile on her face.  
Shizuka Hiratsuka however, let out a sigh and set her sights on me. So I dodged a bullet with Haruno but I am still getting the firing squad nonetheless? Alright, shoot.

"That time with the slogan, and the matter with Sagami... you did a good job if you look at the results. But I can't honestly praise you for it." She said with a monotone and low voice, as if disappointed. Meh, that's alright, I'm used to being a disappointement anyways...

That is until I felt her left hand gently landing on my right cheek and brushing away some wild strands of my hair, her eyes now squinted, her expression soft and caring. If only I had been born a few years earlier... That woman...

"Hikigaya, whenever you help someone, there's no reason for you to always hurt yourself."

Her hand being smooth, her look of genuine concern, the softness of her voice...

"It's not really as if something can hurt me anymore. Except your punches maybe..." I say with an awkward chuckle, and she reciprocates it.

"That's true even if you've gotten used to the pain. There are people who's hearts break as they watch you getting hurt. It's about time you realize that... The lesson is over." She says softly, putting both her hands on my shoulders as she stands behind me, barely a couple of inches taller than I am.

"... Are you one of those people, Hiratsuka-san?"

As Shizuka Hiratsuka was starting to walk away with a satisfied smile on her face, she stopped dead in her tracks and whipped her head back to give me a shocked face. I simply couldn't resist asking the question, and the face she is seeing now barely seems to be the face of the Hikigaya Hachiman she knew up until now.

"W-What do you mean by that, Hikigaya?" She asks me as if she wasn't sure if she heard me well.

"You truly are like Haruno-san, you see and understand more than you let on, don't you? I think we need to talk, Hiratsuka-san. In private more preferably, and it's going to take a while so, if you have a choice in terms of place and time, I'm open to suggestions." I tell her with a serious face and an ominous tone, the shock on her face growing again.

After a good minute or two seeing Hiratsuka Shizuka struggling to take a decision, and as I was about to take a step away due to not having an answer, I stopped myself when she finally opened her mouth again.

"You will have to keep your mouth shut about this, do you realize it Hikigaya?" She asked me, picking up her keys from her pocket and looking at me with a straight and slightly dangerous expression in her eyes.

"Trust is a two way street you know? So what goes for me, goes for the both of us." I retort with the same serious face, watching her sigh and nodding at my words, before we took our time to reach and climb into her car, unnoticed by everyone else.

* * *

It was a calm and silent evening in Hiratsuka Shizuka's house. Said house by itself wasn't big, neither was it some sort of cramped apartment. Modest, to say the least, pretty much the same global surface as my own house, give or take a few square meters but nothing really noticeable. To be quite honest, I never thought that being a teacher paid that well.

I mean, she has a _fucking_ Aston Martin, a decently sized place that could without the shadow of a doubt house a family like mine, she's in her mid to late twenties, she's gorgeous physically speaking, she is a proud woman who can easily beat the shit out of anyone who dares taking advantage of her and send them in a hospital room for a while, she has a few tricks up her sleeve like playing bass, she has a nice and stable financial and overall situation...

"Care to repeat that to me please?"

...And she can be quite frightening sometimes.

"Unfortunately, as painful and irrealistic as it may sound..." I blow out the smoke I had held in my mouth from the cigarette I was holding between my left index and middle finger while lifting my head to look at the ceiling. "That's the truth. And as I said, try to put yourself in my shoes for a minute there before blowing a fuse. What choice do you have when you're shoved in a situation you have no control or no say in it whatsoever? You either go along with it and cope as best as you can, or you take the easy way out."

Yes, I, Hikigaya Hachiman, was smoking a seven stars cigarette I had taken from Shizuka Hiratsuka's pack, and I told her the many secrets I had kept hidden from everyone, even Komachi, for very specific reasons.

"I see... I mean from your perspective, I can understand where you're coming from, but to keep all of that secret? Your whole last year, even up until today... the fact that it was all an act..." She says as she herself take a long drag from her own cigarette, lowering her head, sitting in a slouched position in her sofa, the embers gently falling down in the ashtray placed on the table in front of her.

"You know, I sometimes wonder about myself as well, if that can help. Why me? Why here? How am I going to deal with everything? Did I fucked up? Did I made the right choice? What would someone else do in my position? All those questions, and before I know I'm back to square one, in a room that isn't mine, in a house that isn't mine, a body, a family, a world that isn't mine... Yet I'm still _me_ inside, not Hikigaya Hachiman, but a person who doesn't belong here, a stranger with no fucking purpose, thrown against his own will into this mess. And for the second time in my second life, I end up everyday with more questions than answers, and they keep piling up, unsolved, unanswered."

I take another drag from the cigarette, and I blow the smoke against the window, as I am leaning against the frame of it, looking at the world outside.  
I chuckle while thinking back at today, and something else, surprising Shizuka who turns her head towards me.

"Do you know how awkward it feels? He, Hikigaya Hachiman, wished he could've been born a few years earlier, so there wouldn't have been that big of an age gap between you, and he would've fallen head over heels in love with you. And the very day he enters High School, he is involved in a car accident that involves his two new clubmates. And the worst part of it? I am now, standing as him, pretending to be him since that day, and I am older than you. I am in the exact condition he would've dreamt of being into and yet... It feels so hollow, so pointless now , all of it. I've lost things, everything I could've had in my own life because of my stupidity, and unconsciously, unknowingly, he lost everything he could've had because of someone else."

"He had everything on his fingertips, every tool to finally have the 'genuine' thing he had always wanted, and he was gone before he knew what happened, leaving me to wake up in his body, his life, his family... He had a chance where I ruined my own. He still had hope and yet ..."

I shove and crash my cigarette in the ashtray when I come back near the sofa, and I clench my right fist so hard my knuckles turn white. As she sees me walking towards the wall again, realizing what I was about to do...

"HIKIGAYA!"

**"THAT'S NOT MY FUCKING NAME SHIZUKA!"**

She holds my right hand in a vice-like grip with her own, and we are standing , facing each other, my look of anger and rage against her face contorted by sorrow and sadness. A few seconds pass and she let go of my wrist after I nod silently to her.

"I never meant to snap at you, especially that way. I'm sorry." I say with my low, natural, baritone voice, looking away with a scowl etched on my face.

"I know." She says, leaving a pregnant pause, before walking back to sit on her couch, and patting a spot for me to sit, next to her. The last thing I want to do right now is sit, but do I really have that much of a choice?

"It's hard..." I say, looking straight in front of me, before feeling her gaze on me. I turn my head towards her and I see a faint blush on her cheeks and her lips slightly parted with her eyes wide open.

_What the fuck woman? I know I said it in a very awkward manner, but is that a reason for you to stare at me that way? Get a hold of yourself!_

"Not me, you idiot! All of this..." I say before staring back in front of me, and I hear her shifting uncomfortably and muffling a cough.

"This whole thing is hard, hard to accept, to realize, to deal with... Having to pretend each day being someone I'm not because I don't know how people would handle the truth. Not losing my own mind and my sanity in the process, having to put an act so convincing no one would ever raise an eyebrow in confusion if I do something out of character, the daily struggles of a high school teenager and an older brother on top of that, the awkwardness of the club and the stupidity of the requests... The fact that I had lived my life, died, and robbed someone of his own chances at perhaps finally having a happy ending... It fucking weighs on one's mind, and I'm not sure how long I'm gonna keep doing it. Someday I'm gonna snap, again, and it won't be pretty, for anyone, Shizuka..." I utter those words before burying my face in my hands, letting a long sigh out, and hear said female teacher sitting next to me being visibly hurt and sad by what I said.  
She gently places her hands on top of mine, silently, and pull them apart to look straight at me, but as she does so, her eyes widen in shock again and she let out an audible gasp .

"Y-Your eyes! They are..." She tries to speak, but a small smirk on my face stop her in her tracks.

"Heh! It seems the mask has finally slipped off completly, and you are now able to see me as I truly am, don't you? I can understand your reaction, I would pretty much act the same way if I was looking at myself in a mirror for the first time..."

I chuckle mirthlessly because I now know she can see my real face, the real me, not Hikigaya Hachiman, the mask I've kept on for so long.

Dark, nearly black circles all around my eyes and bags underneath normally always covered by some make-up I confiscated from Komachi, because of the excuse that she is too young to wear it. The shape of my eyes strained by the countless nights of insomnia I've spent over the course of the last year and until now, as they appear narrow, almost as if I was constantly squinting or scrutinizing something. The near-dead, dull color of my red-brown-ish irises surrounded by a set of dark brown pupils that reflect no life or light.

"Hello there, Shizuka. Nice to finally meet you, as my true self I mean." I humorlessly say by trying to greet her with a smile that ends up more fake and empty than anything else.

* * *

_The SI-OC finally revealed himself to someone. What does that mean for the continuation of Hikigaya 'Hachiman's' life? And will the Service Club members will learn about it too? How will they react? _


	5. Hot For Teacher

_**I know this is a few days late, but the name of the song associated with this title's chapter is a direct reference to Van Halen. Hearing of the passing of EVH is awful, and it was my way to pay respect and offer a little tribute to the man, despite not being a great fan, he was still an incredible and amazing guitarist. May he rest in peace...**_

* * *

**This chapter will be the continuation of the previous one, and a completly fictive scene unrelated to the original anime. Some details might seem too farfetched, and the author can only be blamed for not being used to writing this types of content, so please try not to be to harsh into criticism and may you** enjoy** the read .  
**

_The mask finally was lowered, and Hiratsuka Shizuka was able to witness the switch between the usual façade of Hikigaya Hachiman, and the real man behind the mask. Having a good understanding of his reason for doing this for so long, how will the teacher react, and what will be her decision towards this sudden turn of events? Not only that, but what about the other persons who care about Hikigaya Hachiman, such as his two club members? Will he tell them the truth or keep them in the dark? What will come out of it he he chooses to do so?_

_FIND OUT, IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF DRAGON BAL..._

_Wait, that's the wrong anime! Cut the outro and get the shit going!_

* * *

I can see this kind and caring young woman's mind crumbling underneath the weight of the secret she just uncovered. The fact that her favorite student, the young man she thought she knew and probably like known as Hikigaya Hachiman was nothing else but a façade, the real one being now long gone and would never come back. Not only that, but he had been seemingly replaced with a soul just as, or perhaps even more tortured than the poor boy himself already was.

"Hikigaya..." Is all she is able to say, swallowing painfully a lump that had been in her throat, choking on her own words and apparently unable to form any coherent thoughts and put them into even a short sentence.

"That would be my name, if I was him, but let's be honest now we both know calling me that would be a lie, right? Still I guess since I've been in his body, in his place for a while, I can be called that way, but Hachiman is not my real name." I tell her, earning a curious yet shy look for some reason.

"What is it, then? I-If you don't mind me asking..." Shizuka asks me, a very faint rosy blush on her cheeks.  
She sees me getting up, walking towards the window I had been leaning against earlier while smoking my cigarette, and looking at my reflection.

"My real name was Damian, European, thirty years old loser and loner in every sense of the word, who died because his life was fucked-up from the get-go. But to a few selected ones who actually didn't minded me, they called me 'Alex', the shorter version of my second name, Alexander. I don't mind either name, but always preferred the short version personally. Alexander is too much of a mouthful to say..."

My voice is distant, hollow, although I'm sure Shizuka could detect the same little bit of nostalgia mixed in it. The only thing I can see aside from my own set of eyes which could resume my entire past life in a single glance, is the reflection of Shizuka herself leaning back into her sofa, her head now looking up at the ceiling, the same way I did before.

"Damian? Alex? Huh! They both have a nice ring to it. Truth be told, I like it better than 'Hikigaya', or 'Hachiman'. It's easier to say, it rolls of the tongue almost naturally, and it somehow fits you."

I turn my head with a curious eyebrow raised towards her, to see a barely noticeable curve upwards on the corner of her lips.

"Hmhm, and pray tell me how it '_fits me_' exactly? I like to have my natural curiosity being satiated, it's part of my nature. Oh, and don't think you can come up with a quickly made-up fake explanation, I can see, smell, and hear bullshit from a mile away." I warn her playfully, watching her contained smile grow into a full smirk on her beautiful face.

"That makes you more manly, exotic, and cool. On top of that, you're technically older than me and had it rough, so I guess it lifts a bit of the weight I had been carrying on my shoulders!" She tells me with her smirk shifting into a wide grin on her face, noticing a tick mark appearing on the side of my head.

"Now you know, I never appreciated people who made fun of me for a lot of things, me being a loser, a loner, a weirdo and shit, but if there are a few ones I absolutely hate, one of them would be, like you, being called '**OLD**', no matter how true that fact may be. So if I were you woman, I would very, **very carefully** choose my words when we're talking on that subject, because I can be as dangerous and sensible about it as you are!" I grit my teeth with a snarl and send daggers at her through a rageful glare, that she quickly reciprocates while keeping her teasing attitude with that same eat-shitting grin.

Before long , we both chuckle and laugh a bit, and I go back to sitting next to her on the sofa, drawing in my mind her facial features first, before the rest of her body, until a sweet scent invades my nostrils, a perfume I am sure I already smelled once yet I can't place it back on anything.

"So tell me, _Mister Internet Superstar_, how and when did you learned to play the guitar? Not only that, but sneaking your 'working' stuff into the school without anyone noticing, and at the same time dealing with Sagami's search?" Shizuka asks me, picking another cigarette and offering me a second one, which I reluctantly accept this time.

She pulls up her lighter and light both our cigarettes up in one go, before recoiling a bit due to the fact that we were really close to each other, as unvoluntary as it was. Her faint blush on her cheeks seems a bit more pronounced and I can only imagine what kind of whirlwind of emotions is going through her head right now.

"You mind quitting the sarcasm for even a minute, please? And that's actually pretty '_rich_' to call me '**_Superstar_**', for somone who owns a **fucking** Aston Martin." I tell her as I can see her playful smirk coming back when she sees the small yet innocent snarl on my face.

"But yeah, back when I was alive, thanks to my best friend who taught me a few things back into elementary school in my town, I decided to pick up the guitar one day, and try playing it. I was around... fourteen at the time, and between that, becoming a young rebel punk rocker, realizing fully how shitty the system, the World around us was, giving up on my studies and school, I drowned myself into music." I take a drag of the cigarette, and gently blow the smoke in front of me, looking at nothing in perticular.

"Lucky could be a word to describe how I was even for those few 3-4 years, if you let the global scholar matters aside. A group of acquaintances, a friend I made by the most random way possible, and three good stress relievers being skateboard, listening to various amount of genres of music, and guitar itself. My...'_FATHER_' happened to have a cheap black right-handed Stratocaster lying around in a case with an amp because he wanted to learn to play at first, but couldn't due to some genetic osteoarthritis in his wrists and hands, so it was a free ticket for me, with a twist..."

"The guitar was right-handed, and for a while I tried to play it that way, but because I am primarly a right-handed guy, having more speed, strength, dexterity in my right hand, I one day reversed it into a left-handed position, holding it like McCartney, Hendrix and Cobain, and magic simply happened! The riffs, the licks, all the struggles I had were gone, except for the fact that the strings were upside down, but with a few tools, a bit of elbow greast and a bit of time, I made myself an improvised left-handed guitar and kept getting better and better. Once my friend moved away and everyone else did the same, going on with their lives, I felt left out in the dust, left to rot, yet I couldn't blame him. Kind of hypocritical to chastize and blame people you don't really know or like because they do something, and giving a free pass to a friend if he does the same, right?"

I couldn't see it because I kept looking forward, a thing I had been ironically unable to do in my past life, but I knew Shizuka's gaze was upon me, and she was listening intently to my tale.

"Eventually, as years kept passing by, I was diagnosed with depression, but it was towards the end. The source of it, many people asked what it was, but had they been a little bit more observant they would've known. It wasn't that difficult to guess that failing school, having nearly no friends, being somehow of a forced loner, nearly no social life, the so-called family I thought I had were for the most part a bunch of assholes too, and the few people I truly tried to befriend or trusted stabbed me in the back because I was nothing but a weirdo to them, I won't do you any good. That, and the fact that I've always had a fragile health thanks to my genes, the end result was plain and obvious to me but I guess only I saw that coming from that far away. It shows you how easily those so-called '_caring_' people can turn a blind eye. I can't remember how I died to be precise, but the medication I was taking was slowly fucking up with my organs so, maybe a heart attack wouldn't be that much of a stretch."

A huge cloud of smoke and a long pained sigh came from next to me. I knew Shizuka had it rough, but to hear someone talking about their own death, their past life, how awful it felt. I'm complaining and at the same time, do I really have the right to?

"Since I was unlucky in every way possible, as I said before, I literally drowned myself into music. By the end, even if they were kinda cheap, I had nine guitars and three amps , a shit ton of songs on my various playlists, and a computer good enough to record myself playing. And to me, that was what I needed in the World. Not only the one thing I had left, but the only and last thing that made me happy in my shitty life. When I woke up as, well 'Him', of course I was confused about way too many things. So I first started my new life by picking up where I left the old : earning enough money to get myself a computer, a guitar and an amp. Once that was done, it was all about relearning and since my skills were, to an extent, still there, it only made it easier. What I didn't expected was to become popular so fast, which lead me to hide my identity online. Oh and for how I sneaked my gear in the school? I came early the first day of the festival, before everyone else, and hid it in the Service Clubroom."

I turn my head a bit to see Shizuka's confusion written all over her face after that last bit of information.

"But how did you entered it? It is locked with a key, and Yukinoshita is the one who comes to take and give it back to me after every meeting." She asks, not having an idea, and I can't blame her for that. Surprising her even further, I let out a smirk and tell her all about my little plan.

"How do you open a locked door? There are three possible answers to that question: either you force it with brute strength, you pick the lock with some tools, or you open it because it simply wasn't locked in the first place! During the last club meeting, when I opened the door, I had a bit of a conversation, our usual banter with Yukinoshita. Yuigahama was late, and I leaned against the doorframe, placing a object small enough inside the lock itself, a paperclip. When the meeting was done, she pushed the key in, but unlike what she thought because it's part of her routine, it kept the door unlocked. All I had left to do was the next day to come early enough and hide my gear in the clubroom, in a place I knew she wouldn't look..."

"The locker in the back end of the room, behind piled up chairs and tables!" Shizuka intervened, realization finally dawning on her.

"Exactly! Since some of the furnitures were used for the festival, and Sagami was gone with me tasked to search for her, it was a piece of cake to go back to the clubroom, open the door and the locker, change into my '_Internet Superstar_' persona, and walk backstage for an impromptu performance, with a note saying that I was repaying a favor to someone. Then, I simply had to disappear when my work was done, and coming back to tell you how things went with Sagami on the roof." I explain after taking long drags on the cigarette, the ashtray starting to feel a bit full with the two of us smoking.

"And that weird faced doll you made and placed on the top of the building's roof? According to rumors, and God knows I am not one to like or spread rumors myself, you downright knew exactly what Sagami was about, and psychologically destroyed here, even in front of her friends and Hayama, who she has a crush on." She asks , her violet eyes squinting a bit at the end of her phrase.

"It was plain and obvious who she was. I've always been perceptive and both my previous and current life up to this point taught me to be observant, not only about my surroundings, but people's behaviors as well. Jealous towards Yukinoshita? Smiling at every praise thrown her way? Leaving the work to others while claiming we all should 'have fun' and never there for important matters? And shutting off her cellphone so no one could join her when she was gone?"

"She wanted to be the tragic heroine of the day, saved by her white knight she idolizes so much. I only had to put myself into her mind for a bit and I knew exactly where to strike, what her reactions , questions and answers would be. As for Hayama and her friends? It was painfully obvious too that he would play his fake 'nice guy' role perfectly, as if it was all a choregraphed theatrical play. Thanks to the money I made off my videos on the internet, I was able to buy all the stuff I needed to build this doll, and pre-recorded the whole conversation as a monologue. Like I told her, as someone once said _'If you're good at anticipating the human mind, it leaves nothing to chance'_. And that worked out as I had planned!" I lean back in the sofa, placing my left arm on top of it, lifting my eyes up.

"Still, how did you knew when and what transpired on the roof while being on stage at the same time?" Shizuka asked still seemingly a bit confused, and it is perfectly understandable that she is, can't blame her for that.

"My mask." I say as I take the last drag of my cigarette before crashing it into the ashtray on the table with my right hand.

"Inside of my mask, there was a wireless camera linked to one of the eyes of the doll, so I was able to witness and record everything from the doll's point of view. It was also remotely controlled, and I activated it with my cellphone whilst changing in the clubroom. I called a cheap disposable phone I had bought, and it triggered the mechanism that made it lift itself up, and the pre-recorded conversation was played through a tape recorder strapped behind the head, plugged into a small amp hidden inside the head. All I had to do was press one button at the right moment, and collect the evidences once it was over, by the end of my performance on stage."

Shizuka Hiratsuka seems to be in awe by the way she is looking at me with wide eyes and her partly open mouth. Probably didn't pictured me as someone being that smart, like so many others, but at least she appears to recognize my aptitudes a bit more now.

_Don't stare at me that way, and shut your mouth please, it makes me uncomfortable for fuck sake! I get it, you're all soaking wet, you likey, me knowing, but refrain yourself and keep your composure. You're a fucking teacher, and I'm the most hated guy of our school, so you acting all weird and shit on me is one of the last things I need right now , even if it feels somewhat good to have my merits appreciated. Well, now that I think about it, the last and worst thing that could happen to me is if it was Haruno instead of Shizuka right now! That one would definitely jump my bones 'til morning no doubt! _

Before I can react to it, a cigarette is placed between my lips, and as I look down on it and slightly to my right side with widened eyes, I see Shizuka with a gentle smile on her face, her fingers still wrapped around said cigarette, letting me taking a drag of it, before placing it back in her mouth and doing the same.  
I am baffled by this woman's audacity and boldness, but yet again, it's Hiratsuka Shizuka for you!

"You're aware that counts as an indirect kiss, right?" I say, gaining her attention as she is about to turn away, her smile remaining in place.

"You're aware I did it for a reason, don't you ?"

The tone of her soft and playful voice shocks me even further, and I let a snarky laugh out at hearing that coming from her. Seriously, that woman... I can understand why, Hachiman.

"You really are one of a kind, Shizuka! Troublesome woman..."

"Oh, is that a Shikamaru Nara from Naruto reference I'm hearing now? I guess it fits you and that lazy yet smart nature of yours, even under your guise of Hikigaya Hachiman." She lets out a very feminine small giggle while I hang my head low as I remember this one specific trait of hers.

"Curse you for being a secret Otaku and Chuunibyou! To think that I forgot about that and the fact that you would get the reference, then making fun of me with it. It shows how I lowered my guard too much with you, even for a moment. All of that because you broke my focus with your damn fucking indirect kiss, Black Lagoon style!" I angrily mutter at her, causing her giggle to grow into a full blown laughter.

"Of course I would get back at you for worrying me with your entire story. You don't make a woman who cares about you worried! And that 'Cigarette kiss' in Black Lagoon is bullshit compared to how I got mine with you, because it was more direct, due to the fact that my lips actually tasted yours, and vice versa." She grins proudly as she says that.

"As much as I would fakingly disagree with your logic here, I didn't disliked it. Only wished it could be a bit more 'direct', but it's still too early in life, and too late in the day to think rationally about something that big, so fast. Take that as you want." I tell her, looking at the wall on my left side, finding it oddly interesting, as I saw Shizuka's blush coming full force, this time clearly brighter than ever. She tries to say something back but only mumble confused words mixed together, unable to come up with a response.

_And that, My Lady, is how I get back at you for what you did, the mocking me part. That also gives her a pretty good hint on how I actually feel about her, especially the fact that we are in a very complicated situation, and that I can't give any definite answer to anyone as of yet. Not only that, but all the players haven't entered the game, so it wouldn't be wise nor good to precipitate something that could easily go out of hand._

I turn my head back towards her slightly, seeing her from the corner of my eyes fumbling with her near extinct cigarette hanging over the ashtray, the cinders forming a small pyramide in which her purple eyes seems lost into. Her mind is propbably greatly confused by all of what transpired tonight, as of now, so it appears to be my cue for, to my displeasure, going back 'home', and unfortunately leaving her alone with her thoughts again.

"I texted Yukinoshita and Yuigahama on the fact that I wouldn't be able to attend the club meeting after the festival, and to my 'sister' Komachi that I would be out for dinner, making me coming back home late, which means if you don't mind, I'll take my leave. Not that I dislike being here or being with you, but as you know, I have to keep 'acting' as him . And on top of that, I would most likely get my head chewed on by Komachi if I were to spend the night outside..." I add the last bit with a bit of humor in it, earning a small smile and a chuckle from this beautiful woman, who get up from her couch, a gesture I do as well.

"Very well then . I will give you a ride since you left your bike back at school, and taking the train at this hour, with me being a responsible teacher and adult wouldn't do at all. But when you have some time alone again, I wouldn't mind your visit, and talking a bit more, if you agree to it of course... Or maybe you would like to be convinced by one of my punches?" Shizuka asks me, changing emotions as she talks, before settling on her infamous dark smug grin with an equal dark aura surrounding her being, her right fist firmly clutched and cocked back, ready to hit me.

"That's not how you convince someone to have a date with you... And you wonder why you're still alone with an attitude like that? Be a bit more considerate for fuck sake!" I snap at her, admittedly fearing a bit for my health here. I mean, sure it isn't really my body in the first place, but I've already felt pain and death before, and I don't necessarily want to go through that... again!

"Oh, before we go, do you mind if I use your bathroom and a bit of your makeup? Komachi is still ignorant about my 'mask', and I don't plan on letting her know the truth tonight..."

* * *

_This is the extent of the story this far, I haven't written more of it , but will do without a fault. The next chapter will probably be the conclusion of this 2 and a half-3 part intermission with Hiratsuka Shizuka before going back on the main timeline of events. Note: This might somehow come as a disappointement to some, but the Athletic Festival event will be skipped, and the story will continue directly with the trip to Kyoto._

_In regards to the person behind Hikigaya's mask, along with the details about his personal story, yes since it's a SI-OC story, those are real, including the medical condition, safe for perhaps 2-3 details like the color/model of his signature guitar (mine being a plain black with cream binding and neck and body). The other main difference is that, well, I'm still alive thankfully._


	6. Listen To Your Heart

During the ride back to my home that Shizuka offered me in her car, we made a slight a detour and she went inside the school building, entering with a duplicate of the keys, grabbing my gear in the locker of the clubroom, and placed it in the trunk before resuming the drive back, and stopping the engine near the house where I could see the lights still on. It seems that Komachi was either waiting for her beloved onii-chan, or she stupidly forget to turn them off.

Sometimes this 'little sister' of mine...

As I am on the verge of opening the door of the passenger seat I'm in, and go to grab my guitar case along with the doll in the trunk of her car, Shizuka rests her right hand on my left shoulder, earning my attention, and I see a bright and warm glint in her eyes.

She picks up a folded piece of paper from her left pocket, and unfold it while looking at the writing on it, then back to me with a somehow concerned look on her face, and I immediately know what she wants to ask me.

"I can't say for sure that this is the best course of action, but it would be pretty unfair to leave the rest of them in the dark, and only you being aware of the real me, don't you think? I hate lying, this fake routine, persona I have to maintain everyday, pretending being someone I'm not for their 'sake', while it probably hurts them more than they let on. Sure, they will be even more hurt afterwards, but perhaps they will understand my reasonning. Worst case scenario, I made the wrong decision, and as a responsible male and adult in a teenager's body, I'll have to deal with it, plain and simple. I will always pick and tell a hurtful truth for a day rather than a life full of lies and deception. That wouldn't be me."

She stares at me with her purple eyes and smiles sadly at me, knowing now how stubborn I can be and once I made my decision, there's no going back. I'll go for it, to the bitter end. As I shift myself to finally open the door, she presses her body against mine, both our seatbelts unlocked, and hugs me tightly in a gesture that makes me both uncomfortable yet reassured to know she is ready to support me whatever happens.

It's short and completly accidental, but when I turn my head a bit to look back at her beauftiful face, our lips brush each other's, and as this unvoluntary peck surprises the both of us, she steals a chaste kiss from me with a smile threatening to make me lose my composure and reconsidering my feelings about this whole situation. Before I can utter a word, or find back my voice, she is already out of her car, standing next to the trunk that she opens with her key.

I struggle a bit to get up and walk because of the confusion filling my mind right now, but I know that reluctantly, I must not waver, and have to keep walking the path I have settled for myself. Only the future will tell if I was right, or wrong again. Most of the time, my hunches and intuitions were good, it's just that I would have a nagging suspicion that perhaps I should double check just to be sure, leaving me too doubtful and in the end lacking the guts to transform my thoughts into actions. Having yourself as worst enemy.

I pick up the doll which is only half a human-sized body, merely the torso and the head, and hide it by putting my Sobu High blazer on it. With my other hand, I take the guitar case out of the car's trunk, and Shizuka Hiratsuka smiles to me one last time, kissing me on the cheek.

Before she can climb back into her car and disappearing in the night, however, I grab her wrist and made her spin to steal a real kiss this time, from those sensual and delicious lips of hers. The kiss is a little less chaste than the mere brushing of lips that happened in the car, but we both clearly sink into our own little bubble for the time being. After a good minute, we look into each other's eyes, and nod eageraly with matching smiles on our faces.

I reluctantly let her go, and she returns back to her home, alone for the night, but perhaps not for long... Who knows?

Am I making a mistake by trusting her? Am I overconfident in believing that the course of action I have already chosen is the right one?

I knock softly at the house's door and sure enough after a few seconds on the doorstep, I hear the mechanism of the lock working its magic, and am greeted by a rather displeased Komachi. Well it seems I will have to make my own magic work or else, I am knee-deep in some serious shit!

"Try being kidnapped by a rather possessive homeroom teacher with violent tendencies, and who pries on my private life more than YOU do. Then, once you understand how it feels, try to find it in yourself to be mad at me for being back home late." I say while taking my most bored, own displeased expression, and she let a heavy sigh before letting me enter.

"Guess I'm back, and truth be told, I'm tired. More than usual! Once again a clear proof that I am not fit for being one of those corporate working slaves, and that I am destined as being a house-husband. Do you believe your beloved onii-chan now, my dear imouto?" I ask, once again playing the role of her older brother Hachiman.

"You're lucky you have me onii-chan, you know! There are some leftovers in the fridge if you're hungry, and go take a bath first, you stink! Oh, what's that?" She exclaims while pinching her nose, her eyes glancing at my guitar case and the hidden doll.

"This case is something Hiratsuka-san gave me for a while, and she told me to keep it in my home, but not to open it under any circumstances for 'personal reasons', so I won't breach that privacy. As for the other thing, it's a side-school project I have yet to finish. So I'm going to place that upstairs, take my bath, eat a bit and then finally reunite with my soulmate, my dear and beloved bed!"

"Oh and by the way, I may stink, but I had a rough day. That was very low on Komachi points!" I add, conceiling a grin she can't see.

She seems to let me off the hook way too easily as she simply nods at my explaination before going back into the living room, huffing, to read her usual trash magazine. Bah, who am I to complain after all, she gives me exactly what I needed: a free pass to escape her natural curiosity. With that said and done, I do as planned and soon enough, I am envelopped in the warm and comforting embrace of my bedsheets and blanket, left to wander into the realm of dreams.

As the students make their daily commute and keep passing the gates of the school, I am sitting at my desk in class, reflecting on how after the Cultural and Athletic festival, both events who ended with no major problem whatsoever, the temperature had now dropped by a few degrees, and the wind was now cold rather than cool. For another reason, the same kind of change also applied around me, but I have no right to complain about it, I did what was asked of me, and no one will know this truth, for it was my way of fulfilling a request presented to the Service Club.

A annoying noise coming from an equally annoying loudmouth breaks my focus as I hear him debilitating some bullshit on me again, making those same unfunny jokes who slowly starts on pissing me off very seriously. 'Hikitani-kun', or 'Whattytani-kun' as he refers to me, not even knowing the 'Hikitani' is merely a surname used by his pal Hayama, and not my actual real name. I think I should play fair game with him and find him a fitting surname as well, because after all, if he wants to play a game... I can do that too, Dobe-kun!

Yuigahama comes to greet me as usual, and asks me if I'm going to the club today, which is a stupid question because the answer is painfully obvious, and by painfully I mean if I don't, I'm either gonna get punched by Shizuka, chewed out by Yukinoshita, or even both, at the same time! But anyway, since this girl is an airhead, I oblige and nod to her, and she gives me a smile when walking off, a thing I am curiously not alone to observe as my eyes perk up on Miura Yumiko who left momentarely her eyes from her phone to watch the scene unfold, before returning back to typing a text or whatever else she was doing previously.

Then, Totsuka Saika comes in and greets me as well, telling me that we're going to be picking up groups for the field trip in our next long homeroom. Ah yes, the famous trip to Kyoto, where things will probably go downhill once the requests are resolved, both for Dobe and for his crush, the Yaoi lover Hina Ebina. Unless I find an alternative way to reduce that damage the original method would cause.

I tell Totsuka (I still have problems truly thinking he's a He, but unless he pulls out a revelation as big as mine can be, I can't refute that despite his girlish attitude, he is indeed a male, to my great dismay!) that probably everyone by now might already have decided on how the groups would be organized, and he shares with me his discomfort by telling me he didn't picked someone just yet, before smiling WAAAAAY too cutely.

I am straight, I am straight, I won't fall for that trap! Wow, that sounded way too harsh... and weird... Anyway I AM FUCKING STRAIGHT AND THAT'S JUST A FRIEND, NOTHING ELSE!

"Hmm, want to be in the same group then?" I ask , perfectly knowing that he wouldn't have the balls to ask. Yeah, I'm not really proud of that pun, but if only I could be right about it...

As he nods to me, I see a blonde annoyance entering the classroom with a member of his little group, Hina Ebina. She greets the rest of their little band in the back of the class and of course, Dobe is the first one to open his goddamn mouth, immediately asking for Hayama where he had been, as if he were a lost dog searching for his master, not missing a chance to make his stupid pun about me again, something he seems way too proud about, but I guess when like him, you only have two brain cells, there's nothing smart to be expected of.

As I find myself later on in the clubroom, Yukinoshita is pouring some tea in a mug with a dog on it to Yuigahama, she serves me some in a plain cup, which I don't mind, before warning me that it'll get cold fast. Not wanting to upset her as she seems fully committed to her proper manners, I grab it, thanking her and mentionning as well that I will wait for it to cool down a bit first.

Yuigahama apparently voices out the fact that she is saddened, or maybe upset, by the fact that she wished our school could've send us to Okinawa as well, and complaining about what kind of activity there might be in Kyoto.

As Yukinoshita answers back something along 'experiencing Japan's culture', I rudely interrupt her to tell them what, at least from my perspective, the real nature of this field trip is about.

"That's not about that, I think." I say, gaining immediately the attention of my two clubmates, before continuing "It's an imitation of social living. Let's say you go on a trip with your superior. You don't get to choose were you stay or what you have for dinner. This trains you to fool yourself into thinking that by compromising, you get some enjoyment out of it."

"I bet you're no fun to go on a field trip with, Hikki." Yuigahama retorts, probably scared of my way of seeing things.

"There must be something you two are looking forward to." Yukinoshita intones, not formulating her sentence as a question even if it sounds like one. Someone seems curious all of a sudden, miss President of the Service Club.

"I guess you can say that, even if I can't help it but having a bad feeling about it..." I give an evasive answer, nodding in her direction with my eyes, as if to silently ask back what would be the thing she would be looking forward to. Yuigahama follows the lead and while recognizing there isn't much on her mind, probably in more than one way, she asks her friend who closes her eyes and share with us her intentions.

"Well, I'm looking forward to seeing Ryouanji and Kiyomizudera, but I'd also like to see famous places like Rokuonji and Jishouji."

"Rokuonjishouji?" Yuigahama asks, obviously unaware of what the words mean, and on top of that mixing the two of them together.

"I suppose Kinkaku and Ginkaku are their more common names. Also..." She pause for a few seconds before finishing by saying that familiarity with Kyoto is considered actual common knowledge, or rather implies it under the guise of a question.

This is where the calm and quiet afternoon of peace and tranquility between the three of us takes a sharp turn with an audible knock on the clubroom's door, announcing the beginning of the disaster.

* * *

A shorter chapter compared to the previous one, with almost nothing changed from the original version. To those who have noticed, each chapter's title is not chosen randomly. Google might help you finding out why I picked those 'names', but I try to make the spirit of each chapter fit the title as much as possible.


	7. Do I Wanna Know

Once Yukinoshita says the word, a male figure first passes the door, followed a bit more reluctantly by a second one. Of course out of all the people in this school it would have to be _Him_, and his idiotic lost puppy who now harbours a look on his face, as if he had been punished.

Hayama Hayato speaks after Yukinoshita asks him first the reason for the two of them to come in the Service Club, saying that he seeks the help of said club for Dobe's personnal request. However, Dobe himself interrupts because according to his own words, he now doesn't think he can 'ask Hikitani-kun for help after all'.

_Oh, how amusing, Dobe-kun! You weren't so shy today to mock me, but now that you finally found back your balls, you gonna lose them again as soon as you realize I am a part of the club you came to ask for help?_

"We're the ones who came to ask for help." Hayama insists a bit further, with Tobe on his left side with his head hung low.

"Yeah but you know, I can't tell Hikitani-kun about stuff like this. He doesn't seem trustworthy at all."

From the corner of my eyes, I can see Yuigahama clearly frustrated by what she heard, and Yukinoshita with a very well hidden displeased look on her face, even though I can perfectly see through the façade, mainly because I hide my own.

"Tobecchi, was that really necessary?" Yuigahama snaps at the loudmouth member of her group, followed by a snarky remark from the Ice Queen herself saying that it's my fault, and isn't something that can't be helped.

_Normally woman, I would've taken that as an insult, and my patience is running quite thin with those 'playful banters', but I see, rather I know what you are doing there, so I guess I will let it slide this time around. That being said, we'll need to have a small conversation on a later date, the two of us..._

"Then , forgive my asking, but would you please leave?" Yukinoshita ends her statement with this question, and I comply lazily while staying in character. This isn't the time just yet to reveal myself, especially in those conditions.

"Hmph, call me back whenever you're done with this stuff then. I'm off" I say as I get up from my chair, and pick my bag, ready to get out.

_3, 2, 1..._

"Hold it! Where are you going?" Yukinoshita asks me with her eyes closed, Yuigahama obviously surprised by my action, and I feign ignorance.

"Hm? What do you mean ?"

"I was asking them to leave." She says with venom barely conceiled dripping from her voice, the two girls now glaring openly at the two guys, which shocks them.

"No manners, no sense of propriety." She starts speaking, her cup of tea making a slight noise due to the restrained anger I can feel coming from her, before pursuing.

"I don't see why we need to do any favors for someone like that. I would appreciate it if you'd leave right away."

"Yeah, you're kinda rude!" Yuigahama speaks her mind as well, and maybe, just maybe this is the first time where, as my true self, even if I am still hiding in plain sight, I wish to honestly thank those girls right away. If only I could let out a smile to show them my gratitude...

"Well... I guess we were wrong." Hayama starts speaking again, seemingly out of his stupor.

"Tobe, let's go. We should figure this out ourselves."

"No! I can't back out of this now! Look, the thing is..."

"_'Teach a man how to fish'_ is the motto of the Service Club. Tobe, or perhaps I should call you Dobe for all the stupid jokes you made about my family name, you came all the way up here to ask for help, perfectly knowing thanks to your blonde '_friend_' right here that I was part of the club, and once you come in, you lose your focus and want to back off. Are you scared of my methods, how I handle things maybe? You didn't had that much fear in you today when you were making silly puns, and now, you act like a scolded puppy because you are afraid I might give you the 'Sagami treatment', a rumor that had spreaded throughout the school and gave me an even worse image thanks once again to the person on your right, along with many others. You can argue for how long as you want about my way of doing things, but since I've been here, all the requests have been fulfilled with satisfactory results. So, do you wish to run away like a coward, or do you want to take a seat, and explain yourself?"

I immediately sense four shocked beyond belief pairs of eyes staring at me as if I had grown a second head, and Tobe seems to have a mixture of shock, shame, and awe on his face as he is looking at someone who doesn't appear to be the 'Hikitani-kun' he had saw and heard of before.

After a little while, the situation becomes clearer, even if I already knew for what purpose the buffoon, or rather buffoons, had came in the club.

"So basically, what you want is to ask Ebina-san to go out with you?" I say, resisting with all I have the urge to palm my face, either with my hands, or maybe with the wooden table.

"Yeah, something like that! It'd hurt to get rejected, you know?" Tobe nods.

"... Even though it's part of life, it sure hurts getting rejected. I know very well that feeling and why anyone would like to avoid that..." I mutter the last part, while Yuigahama is now completly excited, and Yukinoshita is adopting a thinking posture with her hand on her chin.

"I guess it won't be that easy, huh?" Hayama asks that perticular question while looking at me.

_Of course it won't be easy, fucking idiot! But how would you know something like that, since you are '_The Blonde Prince of Sobu_', the most popular guy in the school, the incarnation of all the female fantasies, and having most if not all of them nearly grovelling at your feet?_

While Yukinoshita appears visibly hesitant about our capabilities to fulfill this request, Yuigahama as per usual, tries to play the 'friendship' card, and now the two girls are staring at me, forcing the final decision on me.

_Maybe I will take back what I said earlier about wanting to thank them and offering a smile..._

"So, what exactly do you want us to do?" I ask Tobe while leaning a bit back in my chair, waiting for how he is going to phrase his request, what truly lies beneath his intentions.

"Well you know, I tell her I like her, right? So you help me do that?"

While Yuigahama being the emotive type, letting out a cute squeal due to how romantic the whole thing sounds, I let out a sigh. It seems I am going to have to help him by first making him come back down to Earth.

"Hm... Now I see what you really are after. But are you aware of the risks? Do you know of the 'Risk versus Reward' thing?" I say, narrowing my eyes a bit and placing my goblet of tea on the table, before taking a steepling position , covering the lower half of my face and staring at him.

As per usual, Yuigahama being an airhead, she appears unaware of the many risks that this kind of thing is what happens to people in real life. This isn't your beautiful and dreamy TV show where a guy meets a woman and out of the blue, for no reason, they fall in love and live happily ever after, Yui.

_Did I just called her by her first name in my mind? Wait, I am thinking in my mind right now, so if I wasn't before, and if I wasn't talking either, then... Ah nevermind that!_

"Well, he tells her. Then, admittedly, she rejects him. The whole class, perhaps the whole school will know about it the next day. Look for instance at what happened to me with the 'Sagami situation' in the Cultural festival. No matter what happened on the rooftop, if what I said to her was right or wrong, I was by the end of the day instantly pictured as the villain, the bad guy. Teenagers like us can be both sensitive and ruthless at the same time, and feed on rumors like vultures. And you definitely don't want to be on the receiving end of that, trust me, I know what I'm talking about..."

Needless to say that when it came down to make a list of Tobe's good points, a blank sheet of paper would be a pretty accurate resume. The guy left the clubroom thanking us, and for a bit there, I thought that perhaps we could have some peace for the rest of the day, but after a few minutes, someone else was knocking on the door, revealing to be Hina Ebina, the very girl Tobe was in love with, and the center of the request recently tasked for us.

Her rambling about Yaoi and wanting to 'pairing me up' with the other guys of her pitiful little group made me instantly want to puke, and I had to grip my thighs with my hands so hard my nails nearly tore apart the fabric of my pants from giving her the 'Donut Special' treatment,AKA punching a fist-sized hole into her body. All while keeping my external composure as lazy, emotionless and bored as ever.

Now, instead of one single request, we have two of them, and they are more intertwined than this guy and this girl could ever be. Great, absolutely, fan-FUCKING-tastingly great!

But oh well, I guess in the end, what is important is not how both requests will be handled, but rather, as usual, what matters are the results.

* * *

At long last, everyone is now climbing inside the bullet train in destination to the Kyoto's field trip. I tend to witness the quite rebellious Kawasaki being pulled by Ebina, and with Totsuka behind me, still trying to find some free seats, I can help but feel sorry for Kawasaki. Worry not my friend, even in spirit, I'm with you, you have my support!

Along the way, with Totsuka seated next to the window in the back of our car, sleeping soundly and repeating over and over the name 'Hachiman', Yuigahama finally reached out to us with a slouched and exhausted posture, almost walking like a zombie, sinking into a free seat nearby, complaining about how uneasy it was.

"Someone is having a rough time, it seems? What's the matter with them? They are your friends too, aren't they?" I ask temptatively.

"Well... Tobecchi is completly freaked out with Kawasaki-san next to him, he can't keep up a conversation at all. Hina-chan is even more incredible than usual though..." She answers, as if life was nearly completly drained out of her body.

"I have to say, and it almost pains me to do so, I feel sorry for both you and Kawasaki. Having to be in that awkward position even if you're friends, knowing how Ebina acts, being almost 'imprisonned' against your own will with Hayama, Miura, an unusually quiet Dobe, and a... How should I phrase it? 'Cocaïne induced Ebina', judging by what I can from there and the fun only she seems to be having? At least there's one happy Sagami..."

She lets a long sigh, and voices how she wishes for both her friends to have a bit of time together, making me arguing on the fact that even if such a thing were to happen, nothing would come out of it, probably. You never know...

This gains the attention of a newly and freshly awaken Totsuka, who admits that during the summer camp, Tobe actually admitted late at night how he was already liking Ebina. Before I could remember or react though, he told me to come closer to the window to look at Mount Fuji, and so does Yuigahama by pushing herself a bit against me, making me feel her body a bit too much to my taste.

Not that I have anything against the female body overall, I'm a male in a teenager's body with hormones working nearly every single time I'm awake, so there should be no problem for such a stoic, calm and composed person like me when feeling the Mount, I mean mounds of flesh covered by fabrics and clothes pressed against me, right? Besides, despite not caring that much about breast sizes, I wouldn't mind loosing myself in some more 'flat mound'.

As soon as I regain sense of what had just happened, not only did I missed Mount Fuji, Yuigahama excused herself and quickly went back to her seat, and I turned to see a blushing and embarassed Totsuka with his back against the window, staring at me with puppy eyes, asking me in a trembling voice if the close contact between me and him had been long enough.

Not only am I hit by a sudden realization that this is inappropriate, but also by remembering what Ebina had told Kawasaki when I was looking at them, a thing so yaoi-ish and irrelevant I almost erased it instantly from my mind.

_'Do you think a window seat or an aisle seat is more uke?' _

_Uke? If I'm not mistaken with all the fanfics I read with a certain bunch of young ninjas, a blond kid was calling a brooding raven hair pretentious other kid 'uke', making fun of his name and implying a possible tendency for being the passive type in a gay relationship. According to my predicament with Totsuka right now, if we were a couple, he would totally be the Uke between the two of us... Wait! _

_DID HINA EBINA ACTUALLY FORESAW THE FUTURE? IS SHE A MIND READER? THIS HAS TO BE THE WORK OF AN ENEMY STAND! _

_THAT'S IT! I'M GONNA FIST HER, AND NOT IN A SEXUAL WAY!_

Finally, we reached our destination, and before I could have a slight moment of calm and peace, relaxing my mind and emptying it of any thoughts , Yuigahama came to me, and accused me of slacking off in our work, dragging me by the back of my black blazer, rambling again on how she managed to pair up Ebina and Dobe together for something.

* * *

[**Zuigu Hall Tours**  
Your senses will be sharpened as you proceed through the darkness , relying on a rope to guide you. Eventually you will find the Sanskrit word for 'Womb' glowing faintly in a stone, and your heart will feel calm. Turn the stop and pray, then continue to walk forward into the sunlight to feel as if your mind and body have been reborn.  
\- Entrance this way  
Hours : 9:00 Am - 4:00 PM]  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"..."

"..."

"..."

_Is this a joke? IS THIS A FUCKING JOKE? '_To feel as if your mind and body had been REBORN_'? Huh, well, I actually have been through this rather PAINFUL process already, thank you very much! It's not something I want to try, AGAIN!_

Of all the possible attraction for tourists, and the possible bullshit explainations this board could've had written on it, it had to be about rebirth. Oooooh the irony...

"It's pitch black in there." I say, feeling as if once again there is a Stand user nearby, or maybe it's actually God himself having fun at my expenses. Laugh while you can, fucking asshole!

"If we all go in at different times, they can be alone, right?" Yuigahama asks me, and as she is about to go back to tell everyone that we should go in there, I grab her wrist and stop her, gaining her attention and surprise.

"If that's your idea, than at least do it subtly. It's obvious Ebina knows Tobe has feelings for her, and forcing her against her will to be paired up with him every single time, she will put two and two together rather quickly and deduced that despite her awkward request, we are playing matchmakers for him, and ignoring her own request. He has to make subtle moves as well, but also giving her a break from time to time." I explain to her, watching her eyes go wide in shock, and beaming at me.

"That's so smart and genius of you Hikki! Yeah, it will work even better if we do that!" She says as I let go of her wrist, and as soon as I do, she turns towards her friends and tell them the plan she had been having in mind from the get-go, as such, ignoring my advice.

Even as pitch black as this is, thanks to my years of being a loner like Hachiman himself, I am used to see in the dark, almost as well as if we were walking Yuigahama and I in broad daylight. We finally make it to the stone, and as I was trying to read how the symbol on top of it could be read as 'womb' in Sanskrit , the bubbly airhead asks me if I have already made my wish, waiting for me to turn the stone with her.

_A wish huh? Any kind of wish is supposed to work by simply turning this stone? Meh, I've been an atheist for over three decades, I'm not gonna get fooled by some grabs and switch for braindead tourists. And yet, giving my current condition, I have to admit even logic and reason, science, none of this can truly explain or resolve my case. Aaah, can't be helped I guess..._

"Yes, I am."

I help her by doing mainly all of the stuff by myself, and watch her clapping in her hands twice before placing them in a prayer stance in front of her, closing her eyes. I do the same thing and concentrate on what I can truly wish for, not for this moment, but a more perticular one I have in mind.

As soon as she is done, she asks me if I am done with my wish as well, and have barely no time to answer as she is already pushing me towards the exit.

_Cute, but pushy! Not sure if I still like her that much! Wait, what did I just said right now? That girl, seriously..._

We're soon at another spot, waiting in line with people drinking some water from a fountain, and as I tell Yuigahama that Dobe is trying harder even without our help, to which she agrees, a strange scene suddently break out our small conversation because, because I see Shizuka holding an empty water bottle in her hand, stepping on the handrail, trying to fill the bottle with some of the cascading water in order to, according to what is said about this liquid, 'help her in her romantic life and guarantees marriage'.

"What the fu... Haaah, nevermind..." I mutter, eyes widening with my head cocked on the side before facepalming and shaking my head, trying to forget what has already been engraved in my mind.

To think this is the same woman I kissed twice and who knows the truth about me...

I can however sense Yuigahama's stare on me as I talked under my breath, giggling at our homeroom teacher's desperate and idiotic attempt to solve her private problems with some probably fake 'holy water'.

It's our turn finally, and as Yuigahama starts drinking first from the large human-sized spoon, she hands it over to me to follow the gesture, which I reluctantly agree to do so , but not before mentionning how unsanitary to me this whole thing is, and how people would misinterpret that, causing her to blush and pout rather cutely I have to say, turning her head away from me out of embarassment.


	8. Rhythm Of Love

**Tranquil Forest Hotel, Kyoto, nighttime**

Back at the Tranquil Forest Hotel, I found myself sitting in a couch in the hall next to Coke vending machine I took a can from, and as I am drinking it while listening to the playlist I had created a while back on my phone with my earplugs on, I see from the corner of my eyes on the right a prettier than usual Yukino Yukinoshita with her hair tied in some sort of topknot, black jeans, and a long sleeved white cotton sweater with what I assume to be fake fur around the collar.

I have to admit, she is really gorgeous looking like that! I didn't saw her much without the Sobu uniform, and due to the fact that she almost acts cold and distant all the time, it makes her kinda cute. To top it off, she is hesitantly staring at a shelf with on display the famous Pan-san, and a couple of plushies version of said character.

Even though I didn't make a sound, as her hand extend towards one of the plushies, she stopped herself and looked on her right, finally noticing me, and the awkwardness of the situation she founds herself in right now. Deciding stupidly that the best course of action to get out of it would be to run away, she turns on her heels and starts going back towards the room until I lowly wish her good night, causing her to do another one-eighty, and walking towards me.

"Well, what a coincidence finding you here." She says, standing in front of me.

"Pretty looking, is that for a special occasion? And coincidence? You saw me there half a minute ago, and finally decided to come talk to me _because_ after I talked, your original plan of heading back into your room wasn't an option anymore." I answer back, making her blush, both because of embarassment and seemingly flattered by my compliment over her clothes.

"What's wrong? Felt uncomfortable in your room so you ran away?"

"Like what you tried to do just now? And seriously, If I ran away over something like that, I wouldn't go on field trips whatsoever. Nope, just here having a little break, and a drink. What about you?"

"The topic of conversation among my classmates turned towards me. Why do they enjoy talking about things like that?"

"Excuse me if I'm no expert in the Social matters, but I fail to see that as a problem. If they talk about you, doesn't it mean that you are a source of interest to them? You should take it as some sort of flattery rather than an annoyance. Why don't you try talking with them and you know, make friends?"

"You say that as if it's no problem of yours, but it's all because of what you did at the cultural festival." She says while knitting her eyebrows.

"Me? How am I even a topic of conversation for you if it's about something I did? And besides, you did a good job with the festival, so it's pretty dumb to accuse _you_ of something _I_ might have done, or not. All of that is merely a byproduct of society, ruled and controlled by hypocrites and liars. I'm another poor victim of their machinations here, not the culprit!"

She sighs before walking towards me and sitting on the couch next to me. I obviously make some place despite the couch being large enough to have at least four people sitting comfortably on it, but I somehow feel that she wants to 'close the gap'. So who am I to refuse?

She asks me along the way how Tobe's request is advancing, and all I can say is the truth, neither good nor bad, it's at a standstill.

"Sorry I cant help very much, since I'm in a different class."

"Don't fret about it, me and Yuigahama are in the same class, and despite us trying without actually truly doing a thing, it barely changed anything. Tobe even tries harder all by himself so all we have to really do is sit and watch." I tell her while lifting up my head to look at the ceiling.

"You should worry about that." Yukinoshita replies, before we see a woman with long black hair reaching her lower back, sunlight glasses, black jeans, and covering her face with the collar of her brown jacket passing right in front of us, trying to go out discreetly.

"Shizu... Hiratsuka-san!" I mutter, recognizing the woman I shared my first kiss with, resisting the uncoming urge to palm my face for the second time today. Thankfully this time, I manage to do it. She froze and so did Yukinoshita.

Seems like tonight is gonna be awkward...

Later on , the three of us, Yukinoshita, me and Shizuka, respectively in that order, are in the backseat of a taxi driving down the road.

* * *

"Man that was good!" An excited and cheerful Shizuka exclaims herself thinking back at the ramen she thinks she bought our silence with, but that will only work, if ever, with Yukinoshita.

"It was certainly an intense flavor." An apparently suprised and abashed by the taste of said ramen Yukinoshita comments, agreeing with the teacher on my left.

Too bad the battery on my phone was low, or else I would've sneakily took a picture of Yukinoshita's face when she tasted the noodles, and her expression afterwards, nearly collapsed and passed out on the counter.

"It was better than I imagined, I'll give you that." I silently agree as well.

"But why did we have to come with you?" Yukinoshita asks Shizuka, who has a small smile on her face.

"Should a teacher like you even be doing this?" I add.

"You know I shouldn't. That's what I bought your silence with ramen." Shizuka's beautiful smile brightens my sight, but due to a slight doubt I think I will attribute that to the lights in the streets of the city we were passing by, reflecting on the window of the car.

"That's an even worse thing for a teacher to do." Yukinoshita inquires, seemingly a bit disappointed by what she might have considered up until now as some sort of 'role model', akin to her sister Haruno.

"If you're caught, you'll get in trouble, and I won't go down for that!" I voice my own concern about this troublesome situation we are in.

"Being scolded isn't a bad thing. It means someone is looking out for you. I'm looking out for you guys, too, so make all the mistakes you want." She says, with that warm smile again on her face. As soon as my eyes meets hers, we both know we want to share another kiss, but due to Yukinoshita being there, it's unfortunately impossible.

I snort, gaining the attention of both women, upon pondering of the words that just came out of Shizuka's mouth, memories of a past better left untold and forgotten filling my mind.

"Mistakes aren't the kind of things I want to do, not anymore. They are partly responsable for the way I am today, and look where it got me? Sure, I may be a student in a prestigious high school with decent grades, but let's face it: I'm a reclusive, a shut-in for the most part, I hate most of my contemporaries and my predecessors because of the way they behave and rule the world around them, taking everything for granted and squashing those who disagree under their 'Iron fist'."

"There's a few mistakes I want to do right now, but can't... You should really find someone closer to look out for you, you know? To me at the very least, age is nothing more than a number, don't get fooled by those stupid traditions and live your own life the way you want it to be. And what if people talk in your back, if you don't fit the mold? No one will live your life on your stead, so do as you please without worrying the ones who truly care about you. Others can go fuck themselves!"

Both woman look at me with wide eyes as I let our a small smile, knowing that at least one of them got the meaning, and the underlying message.

Soon enough, the taxi leaves us next to a convenient store, and Shizuka says that she is going to buy some liquor for the party, whatever that means. She warns us to be careful on the way back, and as she puts her sunlight glasses on, unseen by Yukinoshita who has already started walking in the opposite direction, I subtly wink and nod at Shizuka, who reciprocates my gesture with her smile.

"Stop drinking, or please slow it down, for me." I mouth silently to her, before turning on my heels too and walk next to Yukinoshita.

Our walk is quiet and peaceful, despite the weather being a bit cold but hey, it's Kyoto at night, so what do you expect?

I stop to look at Yukinoshita who seems lost, watching left and right trying to figure out the way back to the hotel, next to a red light. I pass by her right side and cross the road, telling her to follow me since I remember the way, and she do so after being in a daze for a second or two.

I sense her walking slowing down, and I know what she is doing. I stop myself and turn to face her, obviously surprising her a bit due to the slight jump she made.

"If you walk that far behind, you'll get lost, again." I say to her.

"You could just go on ahead." She retorts, visibly unsure and shy, something I don't see very often either, but this more quiet and reserved side of her isn't displeasing.

"And what would be the point? It's just right there, see?" I point at the direction where the hotel is with my left index finger.

"Maybe you don't, but it bothers me. It's late at night, and if anyone sees us..." She shyly turns her face away, a blush covering her cheeks, staring down at the ground and avoiding looking at me.

By that point I know how useless it would be for me to keep staying in character, and I intently let her see through a tiny crack of my mask, like I did earlier in the taxi. After all, I won't keep it for long, so better making her a bit more at ease as most as I can. I let out a sigh, and curve my back in a more straight posture, keeping my hands in my pockets while looking at her with a more serious expression.

"Yukinoshita... No,Yukino, if I may... I said it earlier in the cab, and I normally hate to repeat myself, but I think I will do this one exception for you, not because you are prettier than usual, more open-minded tonight or for whatever reason may be: Don't let others dictate your life, or being scared of doing what you want to do! No one, and I mean **NO ONE** will live your life on your stead, except if it's of course something you want deep inside, being a puppet afraid that someone cuts your strings and that you'll fall, that some bullshit rumors start spreading and threatens to 'ruin your life'. According to your own words, you are someone who is seen as perfect, who is considered as perfect, and you idolize your older sister who you qualify as 'perfection'. Does perfection comes at the cost of your freedom? Because if you ask me, I'd choose being imperfect, free to be myself, rather than being somebody else's puppet, perfect and prisonner of a cage. Now that I think of it, it fits pretty well the persona of that moron Hayama..."

She stares at me with wide eyes, and I see something in them. Is it jealousy? Envy? Desire? Admiration?

Whatever it is, it highly makes her uncomfortable, and at the same time, she seems to unconsciously take a few steps towards me before leaning her head, to my own great surprise, against my right shoulder .

"Would it be wise... for me to make a re-request, as selfish and unbefitting of a president like myself?" She gently asks me, her voice trembling, scared, yet a bit hopeful within her tone.

"Yukino, you are a human too, a fragile creature no matter how rough around the edges, cold and distant you normally let the others see you as. You have feelings, emotions, and while you may not like displaying them casually, you can't deny them forever. So ask, and as a fellow member of the club, I'll try to see what I can do, and hopefully solve it with the best of my abilities." I answer to her, feeling her nod against my shoulder, letting a pause before saying four words that I will absolutely not forget, and make it real.

"Save me someday , please."

She looks at me, tears starting to well in the corners of her eyes, a sad yet hopeful smile on her face, her body slightly trembling being really close, touching a bit even, with mine.

"How can I say no to a cute cat-lover who asks me for something that sounds nearly impossible to do? Oh well, I guess I haven't much of a choice, another request on the 'to-do list'." I say, rolling my eyes while refraining myself from letting out a smile.

She uncharacteristically buries her head against my chest, relieved by what she heard me saying, knowing I mean it, and we stay like this for a bit, the sky and the stars being the only witnesses of what transpired that fateful night when Yukino Yukinoshita asked me, begged me to free her from her cage.

"Oh and by the way, the day I rescue you, from that day onwards, you shall call me 'Hikigaya-koi', or something along those lines, because I can't save you and letting you wandering alone in the nature afterwards, I'll have to stay by your side and take care of you. Actually, that fits quite nicely with my idea of being a house-husband. A nice way to kill two birds with one stone if I do say so myself." I say, trying to cheer her up a bit, going back into character, and she playfully, although a bit heavily, punch me in the arm.

But I know, I saw that smile on her face even when she moved forward right past me. She knows I intend to realize her request, and stay true to my word, and to myself. It seems the both of us really have something in mind for the future.

I bid her goodnight once more in front of our hotel, and so does she, but not before thanking me for walking her there. It's not like I did something special, but maybe I will, someday. Until then, I'm sorry but you'll have to be patient, the same way I was forced to be, myself.

_Well, now that this is done, on to more serious matters, I still have a personal mission to do. And it is..._

_To check if Totsuka truly is a male!_


	9. The Vengeful One

**_I hate waking up early !_**

Seriously, we should all live under a dictatorship where the common hour to wake up in the morning would be around 10:00 AM. It's purely inhuman to have to wake up at like 7:00 or 8:00! Some would go even further into ruining their biological system and would only sleep for a couple hours, and then acting as if they were completly refreshed. Studies are out there you know , proving my point! The more you sleep, the more your body gets back the energy you have used the previous day, and a poorly rested body will eventually give you signals that you need to listen to it, otherwise you might hinder your lifespan and your overall health.

This is why I'll never like people who wake up early, or say that sleep isn't that big of a deal!

Anyway, if I am now in the bathroom and awake before everybody else, it's not because I wanted to spy on Totsuka to confirm my doubts about his gender .

No, I have all the time of the universe to do that. It's more of a personal issue I need to deal with, and I can't absolutely let anyone see me doing this.  
Applying the confiscated make-up from Komachi to hide the bags and dark circles under my eyes.

While some guys out there use hand creams, facial creams, go as far as to shave themselves to be more presentable, more attractive for the girls, my reason for doing that is, as I said to Shizuka in our night talk after the Cultural festival, to preserve the mask and keep acting as Hikigaya Hachiman, at least for a bit longer.

Should anyone see me without that make-up, questions will no doubt arises, even to a loner like me, and the very last thing I want and need is to attract unwanted attention.

So as part of this little 'routine' of mine, I am forced to wake up before everyone else, even at home, and do this to myself so I can still remain in character and no one will notice a thing. But still, the sacrifice I make for that very reason is starting to take its toll on me, I can already feel it.

In my past, I had a habit of sleeping between 8 to 10 hours of sleep everyday, no matter what, and sometimes I would even take a nap in the middle of the day because my night's sleep was barely enough as it felt. Now however, the only times I can have nearly my 8 precious hours are on days off, and they are quite rare compared to my old life.

Anyway, as I finish as quickly and discreetly to put the make-up on my face and check if everything was okay, I brush my teeth and carefully place back the makeup bag under my t-shirt, comb lazily my hair with my hands, and go back to dressing myself.

As I come back into the room, I see Totsuka still sleeping, like everyone else, and for whatever reason that may be, Zaimokuza with a Uno card in his hand. I curiously look at him remembering that there would be no logical reason for him to be in this room since he isn't in my class. I crouch and pick the card he was holding as if his life was depending on it, and once I see it, I immediately turn towards Totsuka with my eyes wide open, completly shocked!

_Reverse trap card? Wait wait wait, hold still, calm yourself, breathe! There surely is a logical explaination. Yes, it is merely a coincidence that Zaimokuza would have this card in hand in his sleep, while sleeping not far away from Totsuka. Again, with the predicament in the bullet train and what Ebina implied before that happened, it's now a second coincidence, one per day, and so it starts to sound less and less like a pure coincidence..._

I turn to look at the rest of the room, and fortunately I see Tobe sprawled out of his bed, not that far away. As I contemplate the scene, the gears in my mind go full throttle before a devious grin splits my face in half due to the idea that comes to life, and I know exactly what this I need right now: a way to entertain myself while relieving some stress! I told you that, like Yukinoshita, I am one to hold grudges.

First up, I stand up, and go opening the door halfway through, which will prove a key factor for the rest of the plan.

Without making too much noise, I crouch near Tobe and slowly lift him up by the shoulders, hearing him sweet talking to his 'beloved Ebina' in his sleep, drool coming out from his mouth as he smiles like the dumbass he is. I drag him near Zaimokuza, in a way where the two would be perfectly aligned, and look at the path I'll have to take to make my escape through the door without waking up anyone.

I raise the still sleepy Tobe to half of his height, struggling a bit because the bastard isn't as much of a lightweight as I initially thought, but eventually I manage. Then, I let him fall and as soon as I released my hold on him, I move as fast as a bullet, and close the door behind me, hearing nearly a second later the most atrocious and painful scream in history.

By now, I'm pretty sure the whole neighborhood heard the sound of Zaimokuza tearing his vocals chords in a high pitch of agony, due to Tobe's head hitting the former's genitals.

_I hate dickheads, and I make **damn** sure they get the payback they deserve when they piss me off..._

As I walk through the corridor, I struggle to keep my composure and have to lean against a wall, wheezing heavily in order to avoid howling like a madman.

I come down the hall, and am surprised to see, once more, Yukinosh- Yukino, still hesitating in front of the Pan-San souvenirs shelf like last evening. She notices me, and raises discreetly an eyebrow in confusion due to the awkward face I'm making right now, a painfully restrained grin painted all over my features.

"Good morning. Did you had a good night's sleep? And why are you making such a face? Stop it now, it is seriously creepy!" She says, holding her body with a slightly disgusted look.

"Didn't you heard the graceful wake-up call of a man who discovered a new way to live? A way he perhaps had discarded before, but Mother Nature gave him a hint? How cold of you, especially in the morning?" I roll my eyes, faking annoyance, and my cryptic message seems to gain her attention.

"What do you mean? Does this has anything to do with the loud scream I heard a moment ago?"

"Yes, it is exactly about that! You see, since Ebina's request was for Tobe and the guys of her group, I woke up with an idea. Since I am a loner myself, I don't very well fit the profile, so why not introduce them to someone equally as weird as Tobe himself? And I guess you can say I 'presented' them to each other in a rather unorthodox, yet entertaining way..." I nod to her question , having to bit my lip almost to the point of cutting it and bleeding, restraining myself to laugh again.

Funnily or incredibly enough, Yukino comes closer to me, and asks me with a lower voice to tell her more about the details, which surprises me. Sure it might not fit her highly refined tastes, and will probably consider it gross, rude, horrible and stuff like that, but I indulge her with specifically chosen words to explain what truly happened in the guys' room.

Not even a minute later , as weird and unrealistic as it can be, the two of us are trembling and containing as much as possible our common laughter, her hand gracefully hiding her mouth to prevent herself from making an '_indignified and unbefitting gesture_', but lets muffled giggles out nonetheless. Me on the other hand , my laughter doubled, and it's even harder than before to contain what I am feeling right now.

Not feeling myself able to resist anymore, I hastily grab a Pan-san plushie from the shelf and shove it in my face, muffling the howling laughter that escapes my body, all at once. Thankfully, it does the trick and reduce the volume to a bare minimum, almost unheard to anyone who would be at least not in the hall just yet.

As soon as it dies down, I pull back the plushie from my face, and realize that now, I most likely have to pay for it, since I grabbed it and used it for a rather unintended purpose. I look towards Yukino and mutely ask her if she wants one as well, remembering her obvious struggle from last evening and earlier, but she blushes and turn her face away, finding the floor more interesting to look out.

Sighing, I pick another one, next to the one I picked, and proceed to go to the counter to pay for both. Yukino silently follows me, starting to pick up her wallet, before I raise my hand to stop her.

"Both on me. The one I picked, let's say I'll give it to Komachi, or worse case, I'll keep it to myself. The other one is the one you wanted to pick last night before we saw each other, so it's pretty normal for you to have it. Consider it my first step of my way to fulfilling your personal request."

A look of realization dawned on her as soon as I finish speaking, and her eyes widen to near-comical proportions, her lips slightly parted.

"Y-you remember it? I-I said that mostly on the spot, on the spur of the moment, I didn't thought that-"

"Save it, Yukino. I kept it, and will keep it in mind, and save you, as you asked. But let's make one thing clear: I'm not doing it merely because it's a personal request and I see you are somehow suffering from the predicament you're in. Unlike many requests presented to us in the club, I want to succeed, not only to free you, but also for me, because it's important to me... You, Yuigahama, Hiratsuka, even Totsuka and to some extend Zaimokuza are starting to become more important to me, and should any of you truly need me, I will give my very best to help you. It's a weird feeling I'm discovering within myself to be honest, but oddly enough, it doesn't seems bad, rather weirdly okay..."

I can feel my facial features softening ever so slightly and her becoming as shocked and troubled as she was last night, when she almost hugged me, with fresh tears starting to form in the corners of her eyes, and shaking a bit.

"You okay? Did I said something that makes you uncomfortable or did you finally fell prey to the assault of the infamous Hikigerms?" I try to lighten the mood, and she pushes once more her body against me, nearly burying her head in my chest again.

"T-Thank you... Baka." She whispers gently, not meaning the last word, rather saying it with a playful tone I catch on the spot.

"You really have to update the Yukipedia dictionary of insults, this is growing old, older than a certain someone I know..."

"Oh, and pray tell me who that '_someone_' might be? I'm curious!" A bone-chilling voice come from the hall, with a visibly ever so slightly angry Shizuka, a vein popping on her temple and a severe tick mark on the side of her head.

"C'mon, don't be like that early in the morning, you know I wouldn't think that ever again like I did in the past, I don't want to be punched or worst, die! I was talking about myself! I'm growing older and older each day, and it's simply pissing me off, I already told you that."

Shizuka narrows her eyes, and stop cracking the joints of her fist, before nodding to me with a more reassuring smile. She comes closer to us , and look at both me and Yukinoshita, still in the same close position we still are.

"It's good to see you two warming up to each other, but remember, nothing in life is as easy as it seems. So even if you stuggle with your own feelings, or if the both of you, and that also includes Yuigahama are in the need of some help, I am more than just a teacher you know? I told you that last night, I'm also there, looking out for you." Shizuka's smile seems more radiant and beautiful every time I see it.

I chuckle to myself, close my eyes , and look back towards her, straight in her violet eyes with the same serious expression I held last night, and earlier with Yukino.

"As strange as it sounds, '_Trust is a two way street_', isn't that right? So it's pretty nice to have someone to rely on in case of need, but that also goes for you too. If you are here looking out for us, I, or maybe WE, are looking out for you, and there in times of need. Don't forget that."

Shizuka sighs and turn on her heels, but I saw for a brief second the blush creeping on her cheeks, her being obviously aware of my words and what I mean.

Yukino seems equally as shocked as she was last night and everytime she saw or heard me break character, but appears a bit more in tune and perhaps, more accustomed to witness this side of me, the real me.


	10. Everybody's Fool

**Fair warning: from this point onwards (especially this chapter), the story will take a more oriented SI-OC centric POV.  
**

_If that helps you picturing 'Hachiman', think of his facial look as L from Death Note. Not necessarely the same hairstyle, but somewhere along those lines.  
_

"_I'm going to show _' _THIS _' _for the_ _sake of comprehension_." - Inside of a dialogue, emphasize on the word between the single quotation marks.

"_However if I ask you 'Do you know the difference with this one?'..._" - Usage of a quote.

"**Usage of the voice while angry."**

* * *

As we are now, we are in another place, walking slowly, me, Totsuka, Kawasaki and Yui in a place that entitles itself as "The Most Terrifying Haunted House in History". Hah! What a pitiful name, the clearly never saw my house after a full week of laziness, doing nothing during holidays other than watching animes, reading mangas, and eating sweets and junk food. Now THAT is the Most Terrifying Place in History!

But I digress! A surprising fact that I didn't really considered was the fact that the rebellious and quite mature Kawasaki Saki would be so easily scared, clutching my left arm and nearly tearing my blazer apart in the process. I mean between that, a fragile Yukino, a sweetly daring Shizuka, and an annoying yet sometimes cute Yui, It's not that I dislike all of it, far from that! It's simply that I am still a loner, that has to keept staying in character, stoic, a nearly emotionless empty shell with a corrupted and twisted point of view about life and the World in general, the most hated guy in his school, and and top of it all, ABSOLUTELY HATING GIRLS FOR WHAT THEY HAVE DONE TO ME IN THE PAST!

"Ghosts in haunted houses aren't scary. Besides you have to keep in mind that ghosts don't exist, what we may encounter is nothing unnatural, just paid actors who do their best to scare the tourists, so it's probably as unfunny for them as it is for us. As much as I dislike work, I still understand that you have to sometimes make some sacrifices and earn some money to put food on the table, and that's what they do. Simply because I understand that doesn't mean I agree to it though."

"You seem completly cool with this Saika." I turn my head towards Totsuka, who acts as if it was a walk in the park.

"Yeah, I like this sort of thing." He says, smiling not nearly as brightly as Shizuka, but close enough. It surprises me to a certain extend that this androgynous guy, as old as I am in this body, with his feminine gestures and personality, actually doesn't mind and is completly relaxed in that kind of environment where a lot of people tend to panic, forgetting the fact that above all, this is a mere attraction.

As we arrive near what looks like a dead body, it opens its eyes and stand up to its full height to give us a jumpscare. While Kawasaki is frozen, Yuigahama surprised, and Totsuka enjoying the impression, the disguised man stop screaming, and cast his eyes downwards to to see something dangerously close to his throat, which reveals itself to be the tip of my left shoe.

I have the two girls standing behind me, with Totsuka on my left side, and the employee under his makeup and costume starts to sweat nervously, while I on the other hand am perfectly calm, my left leg fully extended upwards, as if it was a blade pointed in front of his throat, threatening to pierce him.

But the reason why he sweats is due to the menacing look I have on my face. Thankfully the two girls and Totsuka are kind of behind me, so they don't have a good look at it, but the man in front of me do, and his fear reflects the cold, deadly glare I give him with my seemingly empty eyes.

"Perhaps you didn't heard me when I spoke not even 20 feet away from you, but I tried to reassure my friends here by saying that ghosts do not exist, only workers who need a job to pay the bills, the rent, and put food on the table, which I completly understand. So If you don't mind, we will resume our walk in this attraction, and for both your's and your colleagues safety, I would **strongly** recommend not to try to scare my friends again, even if it is the main purpose of this attraction. That being said, good continuation with your work, sir."

My voice come out as harsher than any of Yukino's venomous critics, ominous, and as sharp as the edge of a blade, something that makes the man gulp and nodding dumbly, but I also hear two shocked gasps from behind me, no doubt Yuigahama and Kawasaki. I recompose myself as 'Hachiman', wiping in a second the frightening look I know I had on my face and return to my standard poker face, giving both of them one of my arms, which they instantly cling to. I slightly turn my face towards Totsuka with a raised eyebrow, and he seems to be shocked as well, but smiles nonetheless.

We continue our trip and exit the attraction a bit later. I seat myself between Kawasaki and Yuigahama, the former trying to regain her composure, and the latter looking exhausted, who is watching ahead of her two blondes discussing together, one of them seemingly unamused and impatient to go somewhere else. The nerve of this guy is already making my own nerves going haywire...

"Yui, Saki... Hmm, you don't mind if I call you by your given names, right? You can do the same if you want, or I can keep calling you by your family names if you aren't comfortable enough with that. It's just easier to say since both your first names are short versions of your family names, so I asked because of practicality. Are the both of you alright, need something or want to go somewhere else?" I ask the two girls, who look at each other before turning back towards me, and shaking their heads slowly, with what I can perceive in their eyes as curiosity.

"If you need, don't hesitate and feel free to ask. I'm still a member of the Service Club after all, It's not because we're on a field trip that it means I have to slack off. Yui and our dear president do most of the job, so I have to keep up with them or else, someone will be displeased..." I end up with a slightly amused face remembering Shizuka's face this morning when we were in the hall together with Yukino.

This apparently cheers up the girls, and I see Totsuka with an ear extend towards us, only half of his face visible since he his turned to look at something, smiling as well. This also seems to get Yui's attention when I mention the club and her eyes widen at what I secretly implied, before she gives me a nod and a thumbs up.

_I hope she didn't get the message wrong, or worse, had a sudden idea to make things go more 'smoothly', because it would probably have the opposite effect. Even if she means well, Yui really needs to be more careful._

We meet Yukino at the garden called the "Tiger Cubs Crossing the Water", and soon, the three of us begin our conversation regarding Tobe and Ebina's requests, apart from Hayama and the rest of his group.

"How's that job coming?" Yukino asks , crossing her arms under her modest chest.

"It's pretty tough, right Hikki?" Yui explains quickly, resuming with a few words how troublesome it is indeed.

"That would be an understatement. Out of all the requests we had, this one definitely is a pain. On one hand, we don't want to push too hard, making Ebina liking him less, and on the other hand..." I talk, before interrupting myself and looking from the corner of my eyes at Hayama's group, and more specifically, _him_.  
"It would be easier if _some people_ stopped interfering..." I finish my sentence, narrowing my eyes at him.

"I'm sorry to leave this all to you. It's no substitute for actual help, but I have been thinking about this. Famous girls in Kyoto that girls might like. I thought it might help." Yukino pulls out of her blazer's pocket a folded piece of paper with names of some spots.

As I take the piece of paper in my hand, I nod to her and Yui give her thanks while they exchange goodbyes.

"Yukino. Thanks! You have your own way of helping despite the complicated situation, leave the rest to us, and keep enjoying the trip. See you tomorrow."

Yukino turns back with her eyes wide open, an expression mirrored by Yui who has her mouth wide open, and my response is as shy as the former is, a curtous nod with a small smile.

"Since when do you call Yukinon by her name, Hikki?" Yui asks me, genuinely curious.

"I thought since the three of us are getting a bit closer, with our requests, and the fact that the two of you always encourage me to open myself a bit more, I decided that I'll be the one to make a step this time. I asked her while meeting her in the hall early this morning, and she said she didn't mind actually, just like you, Saika and Saki. Or is there a problem perhaps?" I finish my sentence with a hint of humor, and glance at Yui with a small smirk, causing her to blush and look away in embarassment, muttering something under her breath.

Later that night, I enter a convenience store called Lawsoon, judging by the shop's sign, and I immediately want to turn back and get the fuck off when I see, reading a fashion magazine, Yumiko Miura.

"Oh, Hikio. Say, what are you guys exactly up to? Could you stop trying to mess with Ebina?" She asks, visibly annoyed if the tone of her voice is any indication.  
I narrow my eyes and pick up a music magazine, and start flipping through it, even though I would rather flip her the bird right now.

"Sorry but not sorry. Someone I won't divulgate the name of came to the Service Club and asked us to keep looking for Ebina. The club accepted the request, and its authority befalls under Hiratsuka-san. So if you want us to stop doing what we were asked to do, by any means go ask Hiratsuka-san yourself, or help us finishing the job quicker. Knowing how your authority is far beneath, almost non-existent compared that of a teacher, you're smart enough I presume, to take this into consideration and make the right choice, won't you? On top of that, I hardly see how it hurts anyone for that matter."

"It's about to hurt me." She continues, with a tone of defiance in her voice.

_Wrong, girl! It's not the request that is going to hurt you if you keep running your mouth without knowing, it will be I, DI... Me, Hikigaya_ 'Hachiman'_!_

"If you're with Yui, you should know about Ebina."

"I'm not '_with Yui_', nor with anyone else for that matter. Besides, she doesn't talk to me about their 'girl's talk' because it's between them so I don't see a reason for me to be aware of that, and second, as the name implies, it's none of my concern to me, a male."

"What did you think I meant? Gross! As if Yui would go out with you. That's not what I meant. I meant, if you talk with Yui a lot, you should know, gross!"

_Insulting me twice in a row now? Ooooh blondie, you sure you want to live another day? Because I sense a suicidal tendency within you, with how you talk and how you are upsetting me right now._

"Ebina appeals to guys as long as she doesn't talk, so a lot of them ask to be introduced to her. But once they're introduced, she turns them down really gently. I thought she was just shy, so I tried pretty hard to push things along, but she laughed and said 'Oh, nevermind then.' as if I was a total stranger. Ebina doesn't talk much about herself, and I don't ask, but I don't think she likes that kind of thing."

_So that's how it is. You pretend to be her friend, and yet you know next to nothing about her, because you say it's none of your business. You pretend to care about her privacy, but it's all a façade, all you care about is yourself and your '_**dear Hayato**_'. Exactly how you acted with Yui before Yukino intervened, you tried to push things and force your personal opinion on people without knowing them first hand. Fucking hell, the two of you blondes clearly make a nice pair... of idiots!_

"I'm having a lot of fun right now, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't butt in."

I internally chuckle, because she turns towards me and think she can scare me with her 'Fire Queen's Snake Eyes'. How pathetic you are girlie! You are almost a lifetime too young to impress me in any way shape or form. Still, since she wants to hear me telling her something, I'll tell her a piece of my mind. Consider this a professional curtesy, and engrave it for the rest of your life into your tiny little peanut-sized brain.

"You don't have to worry then, Hayama said he'd do something about it."

"What the heck? Well if Hayato said that, then it's fine." She says, her voice turning cheerful as soon as I say the name of her 'dear prince'.

I shouldn't be surprised by the idiocy and naivety of someone so blinded by such a superficial vision of what 'love' is, but then again, the World is unfortunately filled with hypocrites and morons...

I let out a rude snort and close my eyes as I can feel her glare on me.

"Hayama said he'd do something about it... and yet he's still trying to figure out where to start, because he has absolutely no fucking clue about what to do. Just like what happened with the Sagami situation for the Cultural festival. You want to know how your '**sweet Hayato**' had planned to solve the issue of a missing Sagami? By asking his way around like a kid who lost his mom, and bringing her with the '_power of friendship_' and his usual fake smiles. And would I hadn't been there to expose Sagami's real intentions, pretending to be the victim and being a drama queen jealous of Yukinoshita, stealing the spotlight with nothing of the actual work done with her own hands, this little plan would've worked."

"Unfortunately for the two of them, I exposed Sagami's real nature, and made her crumble like a cookie with nothing but the truth. And your 'beloved Hayato' in all of that? All he was able to do was grabbing me by the collar and wanted to punch me in the face, but Sagami's friends stopped him. Do you want to know what he said before leaving though? I'll tell you, his exact own words:_ 'Why is it the only way you can do things, Hikitani?'_. Do you know what that means? It means he admitted I did more than he could've ever done. It means that deep inside, all he can do is just sit there and watch, uttering two-three cheerful words, plastering a fake smile on his face and playing it '_cool_', and all of you fall under his charm for no reason at all. You and him, even his admirers, you are just empty inside, dumb idiots craving for social feedback and recognition, so much so that you pretend to be friends and worried because if your little group falls apart due to Ebina and Tobe getting together, you will be left alone, and that scares the shit out of you, the both of you. That's just how pathetic you are."

"Yes, '_y__our Hayato_' said he'd so something but as the days go by, all I can see him doing is the usual: faking smiles, going along with your selfish requests and doing absolutely **JACK SHIT** to either tell Tobe or Ebina that it wouldn't work. All he can do is standing like a statue, watching the events unfold, as mute as a fish. And hell, even a fish moves its mouth even if it can't talk! Now that I think about it, perhaps I should've let Sagami have her win at the festival, that way she would've probably gained his attention, and would perhaps be dating him right now, leaving you and all of his so-called '_friends_' in the dirt, where you kind of belon-"

I didn't had the time to finish my sentence nor did I had to open my eyes, but it didn't matter because I now have exactly what I wanted, where I wanted it. I got Yumiko Miura mad, furious, enraged, so much that she threw a punch at me, a punch I easily avoided.

What she didn't expected was for me to turn the tables. You see, you talk with a guy with a slouched posture, a bland emotionless tone in his voice although with a bit of dripping sarcasm, is known to be a loner, you think he will be an easy target for abuse, verbally or physically. You naïvely think you have the advantage. So you don't expect him to outsmart you in any way shape or form.

I raise my left leg like I did earlier today with the employee in the Haunted House, and easily enough, the tip of my shoe is barely an inch away from her chin, her green eyes wide open with fear, her whole body trembling.

"**Haaaah seriously, what a pain. I hate repeating myself, and now you make me use the same move for the second time today...**"

"**Well, what was that, Miura-san? You look quite pale suddently. Did something happened by any chance? You look nervous.**" I change my voice to my natural, baritone, deeper adult voice, breaking right in front of her the persona of 'Hikio', or 'Hikigaya Hachiman'.

"W-Who are you?" She asks, frozen in fear, sweat coming from her temples, unable to move.

"**Who am I indeed? ****That is a very good question. A question so smart that I should ask you a question of my own in fact. According to what you knew of me up to now, and to what you are currently witnessing, who do you think I am? The weak Hikigaya Hachiman that everybody can trashtalk, and abuse to their will, or maybe... The darker part hidden inside of him that you and countless others created because of your words? You said you don't know much about Ebina-san earlier, and admitted that you didn't tried to know her either. So how can you possibly think, even DARE, know who I am?**" I lift up my face just enough to show her the plain face of Hikigaya Hachiman, with a twisted smile and dull reddish-brown eyes piercing through her soul, lifting my leg a bit more, forcing her to get on her toes , while trying not to lose her balance.

"**You see Miura-san, there are many things I hate about humans. Cheaters, deceivers, brutes, idiots, egotistical douchebags, morons, cowards, the list goes on... but a pathetic wench like you, I've seen it countless times, the pattern is always the same. You think that because you have somewhat of a social status, the World is yours! You are allowed to take everything for granted, and give nothing back, that you and you alone should tell people what to do, put them on a leash and treat them like slaves or animals. Pretty much what you did with Yuigahama-san until Yukinoshita intervened and reminded you of your place that day, right? And where was your '_beloved Hayato_'? Oh yes, he had his signature fake smile on his face, said nothing, did nothing, like usual. Two members of his group, his so-called friends argued about something important, something like free speech and free thought, and he instantly wiped his hands clean about all of that. You see, that's where I say he lacks balls, and is what exactly he doesn't have, a dick!**"

"**Think Miura-san, you surely still have some brain cells in that pretty head of yours so think back, think carefully about what your 'dear Hayato' had truly done for you and his group. Think about the last time he did something useful for any of you. The chain mails? Request presented by him because it affected his image that his '_friends_' were badmouthed, resolved by yours truly along with the Service Club. And what was his role? The damsel in distress! The crybaby who complained! Oh, and how can I forget the tennis match, for the right to play on a court WE had reserved beforehand with the authorization of the teachers, and you think you can barge in and do whatever the fuck you want? How did the fence tasted hmm? Oh, actually, the only time he did something useful was to use his muscular, sweaty body as a cushion because otherwise, you would've been hurt, due to you being overconfident as usual. Are you starting to get my point now, pathetic worm?**"

And that is the moment where, literally in front of me, both inside and outside, Miura Yumiko collapsed on the floor, having a mental breakdown.

_Ah shit, here she goes again! It's a bad habit of hers to suddently fall asleep anywhere. It will cause her trouble one day._

The shop's clerk came to see what had happened, and I reassured him by tellng him she was my friend, and simply felt exhausted. I convinced him to let me use his phone, and called a taxi in which I jumped in after placing the '_Sleeping Beauty_' in the backseat, giving the address of our hotel to the driver.

Just before I carried her unconscious body bridal style to a random teacher in the hall, I pocketed a folded piece of paper with something written on it into Miura's blue jacket.

_'Mark my words, think back on how your pretty boy Hayato truly is, and come see tomorrow evening at the Arashiyama bamboo alley. Come alone, hide yourself, and observe the results of his inactions. _

_Hikigaya.'_

_Now that the plan is all set-up, what remains is convincing the girls to choose the spot, letting things play out, and before that... Having a one-on-one conversation with a certain useless moron..._


	11. Night Of The Demon

**Last day of the field trip in Kyoto , before returning to Chiba**

* * *

Yui, Yukino and I visited a few spots here and there, met with Hayama and his group again, with Ebina asking me in private how things were going, wanting to hear the 'juicy details of mens bonding together' as she swipes a bit of drool coming out of the corner of her mouth with her right hand. I only let her know that everyone is probably going to Arashiyama, and visit the bamboo alley there, to which she replies with a dead empty look 'I'm counting on you'.

As the three of us members of the Service Club arrive at the alley, I have to say it's a very calm, quiet place, and quite an unusual change of scenery for me. Back in my past life, I travelled a bit here and there and saw different kinds of landscapes, from old european castles to snowy mountains, gothic and roman churchs and cathedrals from the Middle-age, and a few more, but as if there was a dream place I always wanted to visit, it was Japan.

Ironically, I had to be 'reborn' as Hikigaya Hachiman to actually be able to visit, and even leave in Japan, now being a Japanese myself. Life really is like a box of chocolates huh?

Yukino and Yui talk together about the beauty of the place, and the lanterns placed on the ground on each side of the path. It will make a good atmosphere at night, while keeping a certain veil of darkness, which is convenient for what I have in mind. As the two girls are already decided to make this place the spot, I concur with them and like that, the second part of my plan falls into motion, as expected.

* * *

Later that day, on the riverbank, I approach a blonde male teenager standing like a statue, so fitting of him, looking at the water ahead of him. Well, if he is contemplating drowning himself, I certainly won't stop him. Maybe I'll even lend him a hand in his ***cough*** _suicide_ ***cough***...

"You really are a pain in the ass, being uncooperative, especially after you dragged your friend into our club, to help him with his request."

"I guess you aren't wrong." He answers me with a bit of humor, but if feels just as empty and fake as his smiles.

"You like hurting yourself, don't you? You ever tried being part of being in a BDSM group?" I ask him, earning a confused glance .

"You first drag Tobe into our club, knowing how he feels about me, like the rest of the school, after the Sagami fiasco, thanks to you by the way, and now that we are a bit closer to solve his request, you shoot yourself in the foot by interfering. Although you weren't the only one, but at least Miura had the merit of being more discreet, I have to give her credit for that."

"Are you involved into what happened to Yumiko last night?" He asks me, feeling him tense.

"Who knows? I could be telling the truth by saying I wasn't, but I could also be lying. I simply stepped into her reading a magazine in a convenience store, and she pissed me off, so I gave her the same treatment as I did with Sagami. I told her about my 'way of doing things', you know, the one you don't get? Someone has to get their hands dirty and get the job done. The World we live in isn't ruled by smiles and kind words, this shit barely matters nowadays." I answer him, watching him sighing heavily , his eyes unmoving and contemplating the river.

"It wasn't my intent to ruin your efforts. I just like the way things are right now. I like both Tobe and Hina, and the time we all spend together, so-"

"So if they get together, they might want to spend more time together, just the two of them, and it will no doubt break the dynamic of your little group. Tobe likes Ebina, who doesn't necessarely reciprocates his feelings, and because of Miura trying to push Ebina into opening herself to guys without even knowing much about her own '_friend_', and you being the plastered-smiled muted-faced statue who don't want to break the status quo, you fear your group will fall apart. So much for someone who pretends being '_friend_' with people, and saying he cares for them, while all he truly has in mind is to keep his status and reputation safe."

"You may be right, and you may think what you want of me, but... What's lost won't ever come back." Hayama now looks at the ground in front of him, his head lowered, his fake smile finally gone.

_If only you knew, little boy. Like you, I used to think the same, and yet look at me now! Oh wait, I almost forgot, silly me! You don't see me, like almost everyone else. To you, a 'social reject', someone who doesn't fit the mold isn't worth living or being noticed. You have many things people are probably jealous of, me included, not gonna lie, and yet you can't care less about it. If only I wasn't forced to keep that mask on my face, I would tell you with my own words how pitiful you are, complaining with your hands full._

_'I'm sick of people who don't appreciate their blessing, sick of those who scoff at the suffering of others. I'm sick of it all!'_

"To some extend, as much as it pains me to say it, you're right. Some things you lose won't ever come back. It doesn't matter how much you **pray**, how much you **hope**, how much or hard you **try** and **cry** about it, a severed limb won't regrow or a dead person won't come back. And that's what life is about, the present. Enjoying things that you're living at this exact moment, and dealing with Life and Death, with difficult situations as they come and go. This is what it means to live, to be human. No one lives without suffering..."

"...So you see, when I witness a crybabitch like you, complaining how 'unfair' things are, having his hands full and probably born with a silver spoon in his mouth, having **friends** left and right and yet treating them so casually, almost as if they were disposable, for me who has none of that, it almost sounds like a bad joke. And the worst part is, _**you**_ come to **ME** to help you with that, because you are conscious of how useless and pathetic you are, yet you can't accept to show it to the World, and so you put a fake smile all day long and play the nice guy. You asked me why I do the things I do? Well, I ask you the same."

"How could you say something like that?" Hayama suddently start balling his hands into fists, and clench them hard, almost trembling .

"To me, none of this is as superficial as you think. Right now, the environment I'm in is everything to me. I told Tobe over and over to give up, because I can't see Hina opening her heart to him right now. But still, I don't know what's in the future. So I didn't want him to rush to a conclusion. So tell me, what about you? What would you do ?"

Now it's my turn to sigh. Is this guy for real? Can't he get a clue?

"What I'd do doesn't matter. I'm not friends with Tobe, nor with Ebina. Hell, I don't have any friends to begin with, and Yukinoshita and Yuigahama are merely 'acquaintances' of mine, due to us being in the Service Club altogether. Besides, I'm not you, I can't walk in your shoes or share your past and mindset, so asking what I would do in your place is useless. It is as stupid as me asking you what you would do in my place, if the Sagami incident never happened, but was about to. You won't ever be a man because you can't pick a side or take a decision by yourself. Unlike you, I don't try to befriend people, because I know first hand how they truly are inside. That's why I speak my mind, being the blunt and straightforward jerk everyone wants to avoid like the plague."

Clicking his tongue, he looks down at the ground in shame, his head hung low. I can see his eyes turned towards the bank as I shift myself and start walking away back to where I came from, when I hear him saying one last thing with a tone of resignation and defeat.

"You're the last person I wanted to turn to."

_I've been patient wth you up until now boy, but that does it!_

With a speed that surprises him, I turn around and face him again, this time with a vicious snarl on my face, my long restrained emotions, the **_real_** me, on full display.

"Let me tell you one last thing, and I don't care whether or not you want to hear it: people like you make me want to vomit! I **LOATHE** people like you because I have spent my life watching the same shit going full circle despite my young age. And please, you talk about** loss** and **friendship** as if you even know in the first place what those words mean, but how can you understand yet grasp those concepts when you are wearing that **pathetic mask on your face? DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH! I've been through enough shit to know how the REAL World is, how it works and its ugliness. A brat like you who has probably been pampered his own life, trying to teach me what I learned the hard way through abuse, mockery, and bullying since elementary school on a daily basis?** What's next? You're gonna tell me you still believe in the tooth fairy? The Easter bunny? Santa** Fucking Claus? WAKE UP! This isn't a dream where you can tune off what's happening around you when you want it."**

"**You're lucky murder isn't legal in this country, otherwise right now, you would be lying on your back as a corpse on an autopsy table**."

I make my way back towards the hotel, fists trembling so hard I have trouble recomposing myself, feeling the burning blood in my veins thumping, fueled by all this unreleased anger and hatred buried deep inside of me, now threatening to break the dam that I had built long ago.

Hmph, how ridiculous. You know as well as I do that I was from the get-go, and still am, your greatest asset, your 'Ace in the hole', the last trick in your sleeve you don't want to resort to. And that kills you inside, knowing perfectly that despite my methods, I bring results to the table and am more reliable that you'll ever be!

* * *

The sun settles in for our last day in Kyoto, and six teenagers are hiding at one end of the bamboo alley in Arashiyama. On one side, Hayama and two of his 'friends', Ooka if I remember his name correctly, forgive me for not being interested by people I don't interact with, and Yamada? Yakisoba? Yamato? Whatever his name is, I don't really care!

On the other side, I, Yui and Yukino are hiding ourselves as well, our heads perking ever so slightly to look at Tobe in the alley, nervously standing for his romantic interest to come in so he can confront her and tell her about his feelings.

"Dobe."

"Uh? Ah, Hikitani-kun... This is nuts, man! I'm like, completly freaking out right now!" Tobe speaks as I am standing myself in the alley, in front of him to ask him one last time if he is determinated enough to go through that.

"Listen to me very carefully, and answer me honestly. What will you do if she rejects you? She will be there anytime soon now, so don't waste your time wracking your brains out for an answer and just say how you feel, to which extent you are willing to go!" I ask him with a lower voice, so only he and I can hear what I am saying.

"I still wouldn't give up! I'm not a very serious guy overall, but I'm very serious, deadly serious about this!" Tobe instantly replies to me, now burning and brimming with confidence in his voice and his attitude.

Indeed he is serious about it. I most certainly wouldn't have anticipated that out of all the guys in Hayama's group, Tobe, that jackass, would be the one who has the most balls out of them. I guess I have to give him some praises somewhat, since he is committed to the bitter end, and probably knows that he will face rejection.

"I see. Then do your best, until the very end, got it?" I mutter with my usual blank look, turning on my heels and hurrying back to hide back with the two girls on one of the sides.

Now, for the last part of my plan. No need to check , but I'm pretty sure Miura is hiding somewhere, ready to watch the events unfold. That should be her wakeup call about Hayama, and bring her back down to Earth.

As the two girls start asking me what transpired in the short conversation between Tobe and I, my phone rings conveniently in my pocket and I pull it out to check the mail I just received. I had texted Komachi to ask Shizuka about something, not having her personal phone number earlier on today. and only have a response right now, at such a crucial time.

"Hiratsuka-san says she wants to talk to me, and that involves... ramen!" I say with a fake grimace, making Yukino remembering instantly that evening when Shizuka, her and me were out at a ramen shop, and how the beautiful teacher said in the way back how she 'bribed us and bought our silence with this dish'.

For the first time, I see Yukino slightly backing off from both me and my phone from what seems to be fear written on her face, knowing that if I did effectively received a text like that, It would mean business, and that I am in some serious trouble.

"Seems like I won't be able to watch the results of our plan. I unfortunately have the head out to a certain suffering, or worse, death, and deal with it! Tell me back at the hotel, either tonight or tomorrow how it went, okay?" I huff and start walking away on the fork left to Tobe's position in the alley, giving a lazy wave, but not before saying one last thing loud enough for Yukino and Yui to hear.

"I wouldn't have wanted to stay still and watch that dumbass get shot down anyway. That's a pain to watch, especially when it's a jackass..."

"Hikki! That was mean!" Yui shout, nearly deafening Yukino in the process, before apologizing to her friend.

Once they all turn back to seeing Ebina walking slowly towards Tobe, I grin smugly to myself and keep resuming my walf out of this place, probably where _Death_ awaits me.

* * *

And now that the preparations are done, for the final act...

Hina Ebina, right in front of Kakeru Tobe. As the words were finally coming out of his mouth and ended his sentence, was waiting nervously for the response of his love interest, he, like everyone else, weren't expecting some loud clapping coming from an unknown and weirdly dressed silhouette from behing said girl, taking all of them by surprise.

"Well, I have to say that was a rather, nice confession kiddo! But you see, your little missy here and I have some business that also involves a blonde friend of yours. Now if he wants to come out of his hiding spot, maybe we can play a game, just the few of us, hmm?"

The person walks slowly towards Ebina and stops nearly five meters behind her, moving slightly on left side while holding something that looks dangerously like a gun, aimed at her head.

Said person has shoulder length black hair with streaks and strands of lime green, dark circular black circles around his eyes, his face painted with white makeup, and outrageously badly applied red lipstick on his lips and his lower cheeks, as if it was drawing an unnatural smile reaching fron ear to ear.

He wears a long dark purple coat reaching past his knees, with a black closed jacket and black pants that looks like a cheap and worn suit. He seems quite muscular and tall, smiles like a deranged psychopath, and occasionally licks his lips and twitch or do eccentric gestures, as if the emphasize the things he say or is about to do.

"You see, I have a friend who, like me, likes to play games. And, uhmm, there of course, are rules to this game, and if you break the rules, well you're... dead! Huhuhuhuhuhuhu!" The awkward guy keeps aiming his weapon at Ebina's head, and as Tobe is seen twitching as he wanted to rush to the men, a cold and raspy reminder made itself heard through the mysterious man's voice.

"A-ta-ta-ta-ta! I wouldn't do that if I were you! As I said, this is business between girlie there, your blonde pal, and I, no one else. If you try to break the rules, I'll blow her pretty head off before showing you, what the definition of having your 'mind blown' is."

Tobe gritted his teeth and remained in place, forced to comply with the odd man's request. Hayama, always being the indecisive one, reluctantly showed up from his hiding spot, and walked until he was next to Tobe.

"Ahh, and here he is, the little rat. You probably don't know me, but you certainly know my friend Jigsaw, right? I was searching for you and I was lucky to meet one of your friends as he was walking out earlier. He tried to put a brave front, and act as if he wasn't scared, but it was so easily to make him _**squeal**_... He did put up a good fight though, who knew he was able to defend himself that well? And now... I get you where I wanted."

"What do you want from me, from us ? And that friend you mentionned, what that Hikitani-kun ? What have you done to him?" Hayama asked, now concerned that Hikigaya Hachiman met this man and something bad happened to him.

"Oh hmm, let's say I made him smile, Hehehehehe." The pale-faced guy says as he grins widely and pulls a knife from the pocket of his coat, the blade entirely covered with blood.

Hayama, Tobe, Ebina, everyone widen their eyes in fear after what had just been said. It can't be possible right ? Hikitani, Hikigaya, Hikki... No, he can't be...

"Now now, all you have to do, is to follow the rules and play my little game if you want to save one of you. And don't try to break the rules, remember, or else... Pciuuuuwww!" The clown-looking man says as he mimicks the noise of a gunshot with two fingers of his free hands placed against his right temple after pocketing back the bloodied knife.

The man walks closer and place the barrel of his gun against the back of Ebina's head, while gropping her left breast with his free hand, and looking at her from the side.

Said girl yelps from the contact and tries to break free of the hold, but she can feel the weapon poking the back of her head, and while struggling, her glasses fall on the ground.

Tobe, wanting to rescue his, hopefully, would-be girlfriend, was about to move to reach her when Hayama placed himself in front of the other boy, surprising everyone. Sure he didn't liked to see Ebina treated like that, but she was a hostage right now, and whoever this guy was, he seemed serious about killing her, like he probably already did with someone else...

_Hikitani..._

"And what are the rules?" Hayama asks, rather demands, a look of anger and rage on his face, uncharacteristic of those who know him as being the kind, nice and smiling guy.

"You can call me 'The Joker', and unlike my friend Jigsaw, I don't hesitate to **kill**. What you are gonna do is simple. You, blondie, will have thirty seconds to decide who lives or dies, between you, girlie with the glasses, or your friend about to piss his pants. And if anyone else intervenes or try something fancy... Ah-ah-ah!" The Joker speaks, licking his lips again, before shaking the barrel of his pistol left and right a bit as to clearly shows he won't hesitate and pull the trigger.

A bone-chilling feeling course through everybody's spine, and horror and terror are written on their faces. Not only there is a chance that Hikigaya Hachiman might be dead after an unfortunate encounter with this maniac on his way out, but someone else might die, and all of that because of someone's twisted game!

"You know, I'm not into high-schoolers, but looking at her, she isn't that bad looking, especially without her glasses. With a face, and _curves_ like that..." Joker said as he fondled Ebina's breast a bit more, earning a muffled moan from the girl. "I would mind taking her with me and waiting for a bit, and showing her _ways to grind the ladder_... If you know what I mean... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

The longest thirty seconds of their lives soon expires, and no one made a move or said anything. Joker starts shaking his head from side to side, releases Ebina from his hold and seemingly turns on his heels while grunting loudly in discontent.

"I always hated having to wait..."

Then, he faces Ebina again, and a gunshot is heard, paralyzing everyone!

Only for no one to be hurt, no wounds, not even a single drop of blood, absolutely nothing but air.

"It's just like he said, you wouldn't budge an inch." Joker licked his lips and frantically shoved his free hand into his hair, ruffling them wildly. Until he stopped and stood still.

"As always, you simply can't take a decision, even if someone's life is on the line. You clearly are someone I can read the mind of, but I will never understand you."

The voice coming from the Joker's mouth starts to resemble more and more the voice of someone they know, and he pulls his hair out of his head , revealing a really disatisfied look on one Hikigaya Hachiman's face.

"As for this? A Bb gun, an airsoft gun if you prefer, with a C0² sparkle inside of it, and an empty clip. So when I pulled the trigger, the gunshot would be similar to a real firearm, but nothing except some pressurized air would come out of it, hence, no risk to harm anyone. That was my plan from the beginning, even if I refrained myself from telling anyone about it. A few trips at some stores, the fact that I came in here first to locate a narrow passage allowing me to fake my exit and come out from behind Ebina, and forcing you out to confront your biggest weakness : Inaction!" Hikigaya Hachiman speaks while pocketing the gun in the other side of his coat, pulling out again the bloodied knife.

"As I explained to Miura when I met her last night, and after hearing a painful ramble about how '_reliable_', great, awesome, good looking, and whatever else guy you were, I indulged her with a little bit of truth on who you** really** are: Someone who won't act, who merely speaks a few words, pretending to be a nice dude and having lots of friends, who plasters a fake smile on his face, while in truth, you are a pathetic weak coward who can't even take a fucking decision and has to rely on others to do his work, like your request about the chain mails, the Sagami fiasco at the festival, and now your inability to tell your so-called '_friend_' Tobe that Hina would definitely shot him down. You lie to everyone and especially to yourself so you can keep things the way they are, but that won't work and you know it."

"And so you ask, once again, for the help of someone you claim you don't understand and have to rely on, **ME**! You, the coward '_Prince of Sobu_', forced to beg the asocial loner and most hated guy of the school, along with my clubmates, to clean the mess you're in. And what do we gain in that? Where's the credit going after our work is done? Do you think your thanks are enough? You complained earlier on today about _'What's gone won't ever come back'_, but let me ask you this: Will all the 'Thank you' in the World bring me back what _**I**_ lost? No it won't, and it's not about money or some materialistic shit, IT'S ABOUT PRINCIPLES! But I am wasting my saliva with you, because obviously you don't know what that word means... I'm sick of this shit, so I'm off, for good now!"

Everyone look with heads hung low at the retreating for of Hikigaya Hachiman, the pissed tone in his voice, the raspy and hateful, soul-piercing murderous glare he directed at Hayama, the unmoving forms of Tobe and Ebina being so close yet so far away from each other...

"Yo Hikio... Hikigaya..."

I don't even need to turn my head to know who it is , based on the nickname alone.

"What's with the sudden change, **Miura-san**? You had a change of '_heart_' after witnessing everything, or do you want to play a game as well, that game being who can put the better act?"

The footsteps come to a halt , and I turn my head ever so slightly towards her form, seeing that she doesn't look any better than the others back when I left the alley.

"Ebina... rejected Tobe, as expected. But she said she wouldn't mind keep being friends with him for now, and how the group was important to her, like it is to me and Hayato, which of course Tobe accepted... In the end, you solved two problems at once, by making a fool of yourself again, right?" She fumbles and plays with her fingers awkardly , looking at them rather than straight in my eyes.

"I don't like to repeat myself woman, and I am not in the mood to talk to anyone about anything, **Miura-san**, so if that's all you have to say, I have to change myself, throw this stuff in the nearest trashcan, and head back to the hotel." I tell the girl who obviously isn't prepared for my half-contained outburst, and seems more fragile and vulnerable than usual.

I let out a long sigh, knowing that it's me who told her firsthand to come witness what would happen. I dragged her on my own, and she followed suit, so in a way, even if I don't like it, I'm responsible for the way she is now... I'm so gonna regret this!

"If all you want is todo is talk, then do so while following me. After all, not only do I need to cool down and get this shit out of my head, but we also head the same way afterwards, the hotel, right ? And even if I'm not a killer or a dangerous guy myself, at this time in a big city like Kyoto, a girl like you walking back alone isn't the safest thing to do."

She lifts up her head and look at me with wide eyes, her mouth agape, and nod dumbly as I bend forward to pick up the trashbag my uniform is in, and casually change myself behind a rather tall sign with a written description of the bamboo alley and it's surroundings, along with a small map of the area.

As we make our way towards the hotel, me and Yumiko Miura walk next to each other, while still letting some space between us for personal reasons. I stop by a trashcan, disposing of the Joker's clothes, wig and the BB gun to reveal my Sobu uniform I was still wearing underneath along with some padding to make myself look taller and more muscular, and see a small fountain at the distance, ideal to get rid of the makeup on my face.

I press the button unleashing the contained water, and splash it multiple times on my face after cupping my hands together. When I make sure my whole face, and part of my hair is wet as well, seemingly clean, I turn towards Miura again who can see my face, and I forgot for a moment there that what she sees is my real face, the _real_ me! By washing away the makeup I had applied to transform into the Joker, I also washed away the usual makeup I took from Komachi that hides my eyes and my rather 'distinctive hidden features'.

Hearing her gasp at seeing this due to being exposed by the light of a street light placed next to the fountain, I huff at my own stupidity for forgetting such an important detail. And now, after Shizuka, Yumiko Miura is the second person to see me how I truly am! Just great!


	12. Return To Serenity

"So tell me, what do you prefer?"

"What do you mean _'What do you prefer'_? What kind of question is that?" Yumiko Miura looks down at me with a confused and slightly upset face, from her standing position.

"What I mean by that is, do you want me to call you by your last name, or by your first name. Since what I am going to tell you a tidbit of informations that you will have to keep to yourself, due to how big of a secret it is, I thought calling you by your first name would make things a bit easier you know, creating a situation of closeness and privacy, but if you don't like that..." I lift my head and take a glance at Miura who's face brightens just a bit in realization, before returning to her default mood, borderline annoyed.

"Hmph, it matters little to me, as long as you tell me what the hell was this all about. Like seriously, with last night and tonight, I don't know if I should trust you with anything you may say, or instantly call the cops because of how much of a cree-"

"Would you kindly stop harassing me with the namecalling and the usual kind of shit I hear by either you, or the rest of the people at school, please? I may act as if I'm not bothered, but as you might know, everyone has their limits, which often varies depending on the individual, and the more 'stress' and tension you put on said individual, the more chances you have that this person might, at one point, '_snap_', like a rubber band. Kind of what happened last night in the convenience store for example. That aside, if you're not bothered that much by it, I'll call you Yumiko from now on, when we are in private. As I said before, it creates some sort of 'comfort zone' in which we can talk openly to each other, and it shows that I am respecting to some extend, thus proving that I am willing to place my trust in you, despite what you attempted on me last evening." I speak to her by interrupting something I saw coming from a mile away, and if my tone was sharp at the beginning, it smoothes out in the end. I pat the seat next to me on the bench, as a way to tell her to get comfortable, which she hesitantly do after cringing and narrowing her eyes in suspicion for a few seconds.

"First of all, I don't mind you calling me the usual 'Hikio' if that's what you prefer, it's more preferable to the less liked nicknames I often get, or if you have something that doesn't sound insulting whatsoever, it would probably be a nice change, but that isn't that important right now. Let me ask you a question first: What do you know of icebergs? What knowledge do you have of them? And before you ask, that is an analogy, you'll understand later on." I ask Yumiko while turning a bit my head towards her, and look at her facial features contorting in a surprised, and less tensed manner from the corner of my eyes. She looks back at me after a few seconds of silence, and she turns her gaze in front of her, on the ground of the small kid's park we are currently in.

"Hmm, icebergs are large blocks of ice that originally are part of the pack ice, located both north and south of the planet, known as Antarctica and Arctic, and also Greenland. They detach themselves due to cracks, either natural or human-made, and drift throughout the oceans with only a smaller part visible compared to the bigger part of it underneath the water level."

"That would be it, yeah. It's a pretty good way to explain and resume it. Now where the analogy comes in is the fact that as you might know, some people, for specific reasons, tend to be compared to icebergs because they only show a tidbit of who they truly are. Take me for example right now. What you knew of me until last night or today was the mere image and reflection of a fellow classmate, known as Hikigaya Hachiman, a cynical stoic loner who don't speak too much nor involves himself with people, but that wouldn't be the true me. You could almost say that I am wearing most of the time the persona of Hikigaya Hachiman as a mask on my face, and I show you only what you want to see of me, a pathetic loner who lies, tricks and deceive people if it means the request presented to the Service Club he's a part of can be solved, especially if it is the fastest and most efficient way."

Yumiko looks at me, nodding slowly and dumbly, somehow shocked yet understanding at what I'm telling her.

"So you're telling me that the Hikio I thought I knew, the Hikigaya Hachiman everyone else saw at school for like more than a year, the verbally abused loner is just a mask you put on your face every morning, a fake persona?" Yumiko asks me, incredulous, to which I give a subtle and hesitant nod.

"Well yes, but actually no. It's more complex than that, because if it was it would be too easy, for me at least. Let's just say it's a part of me, a part I show everyone for a reason of my own. I'm playing a role I just feel comfortable being in because I'm myself in a way when I'm doing it, it's natural. I'm going to drop just a little hint there and say that I became that way some time ago, using this as some sort of coping mechanism due to some rather harsh memories of the past. There is however a person who has recently discovered that hidden side of me, and doesn't know that much about it. I can't say who it is, nor to what extend I confided myself to them, but they know a bit more than you now do. I wouldn't give such highly confidential and personal informations regarding my true self to anyone, so I hope you will make the right use of it, and should the time come, if you are ready to hear about the whole thing, you will be welcomed to do so, but I have to warn you: What is said between you and I, no one else has the right to know, and what you might hear will shock you, no doubt."

I stand up after saying the last part, and extend my left hand in front of Yumiko, who stares blankly at it first, before placing hers on top of my open palm and get up from the bench as well.

"That's the most I can tell you about for now, I hope you can understand that due to our current limit of time here, it's not the right time and place to tell you the whole truth. On top of that, given your probably confused state of mind, such an amount of foreign knowledge would undoubtedly cause you another mental breakdown, and that's not what we want, right? So let's go, I'll walk you back to the hotel. And don't worry for your 'reputation', if that's any sort of relief to you, I'll walk a couple of steps behind you, so no one will see us walking together and get the wrong idea." I give Yumiko my two cents on the whole matter, finishing with a very small smirk towards the end, causing her to chuckle softly before punching playfully my arm and starting walking ahead.

As soon as she passes the entrance of the park and its small iron gate, being hopefully out of reach, I let out a sigh and start taking a few steps before opening my mouth one last time.

"That also includes the four of you, Yukinoshita, Yuigahama, Ebina... And Kawasaki. Next time you are so confused by my odd behavior though, come straight to me instead of stalking and spying on a private conversation. You were almost able to make me doubt myself for a few seconds, but us members of the Service Club know perfectly how loud Yuigahama gasps when she hears something that shocks and suprises her. Anyway, you should head to the hotel as well, even if you have the numbers on your side, you are still high school girls on a field trip, in a large city, at night. Needless to say how unsafe that sounds..."

I resume my walk and exit the park as well, following Yumiko's footsteps along the way back to our current residence, the Tranquil Forest Hotel. The trip back was of course uneventful and I left Yumiko entering alone, leaning next to the front door for a few more minutes, before greeting a group of four spying girls who couldn't help themselves but blushing in embarassment for getting caught. As I see Yui about to open her mouth to either apologize or ask me how I knew, I raise my right hand to stop her, and point my index finger towards my head.

"The ahoge also works as a radar."

I say that, and enter the hotel myself, struggling to maintain a straight face from the grin that threatens to split my face apart due to the look of pure confusion and disbelief in the girls's faces. Only Yui could buy a pitiful excuse like that, but at the same time, it's so funny to see those kinds of things happening, to play with them and teasing.

Maybe things aren't so bad after all...

* * *

**Rooftop of the Kyoto Train Station, noon**

A single person, male, teenager with middle length messy black hair is sitting on the concrete edge of the rooftop, his back against a beige painted pillar, glancing to his left with dull brown irises at the city he is about to leave, and what transpired in this place. The left side of his body pressed against the thick glass and his average sense of balance are the two things preventing him from falling down to the ground below and ending his short life.

Wearing a full black uniform with white trim on the blazer and a matching white shirt, Hikigaya Hachiman is playing with some small items he has, attached by a discreetly covered thin military-style necklace. The sleeves are rolled up to under his elbows, the collar lifted, and his shirt out, unlike usual when he keeps it tucked in. The shape of the items passing underneath each of the fingers of his left hand are throwing him into a daze where a sea of memories are threatening to drown him, only to be pulled out at the last second by an unusual yet cheerful voice he had heard before.

"Hello, hello! Did I kept you waiting ?"

"...Hina, right? Well I was contemplating taking a shortcut to come down faster but as you can see, I'm a bit restrained by this window right there..." The empty and unamused voice of Hikigaya 'Hachiman' gives the already cold atmosphere of this time of year an edge that no one, especially the Fujoshi-glass-wearing girl would've expected, sending some chills down her spine for a second.

"I wanted to thank you!" She walks towards him, approaching as she maintains her composure and a smile he can see from the reflection in the window that seems nearly as fake, or even more than Hayama's own. Did that became a some sort of contagious virus?

"...You don't have to thank me, or rather, you have no reason to thank me because I didn't resolved the request you consulted me and the Service Club about. Hence, it would be pretty pointless to do such a stupid thing as to congratulate, or thank someone for failing a task, wouldn't it?" The bone-chilling tone of his voice threatened to make Hina Ebina lose her composure again, but she held strong, a thing he could see by the glint in her eyes.

"You didn't failed, not on the surface, but you understood the hidden meaning, didn't you?" Ebina asked, her eyes and the cheerfulness in her voice remaining even if it was starting to fade out and take a more formal sound.

Hikigaya turned his face in a slow and lazy manner, letting the girl able to have a better look at him. While she seemed curious to not only get an answer for her question, she also wanted to see what he was thinking about. But she almost instantly regretted that decision when all she could stare into was two dull brown irises that reflected what could be transcribed accurately into one word, scaring the hell out of her or anyone else who would've witnessed this: Nothingness!

His eyes were completly devoided of life, as if he was somewhat dead, yet alive at the same time. No expression on his face, what could be described as his features harbouring a soulless husk of a human, an empty shell.

"You wanted to keep yourself at a distance from the guys and getting them to be closer to each other without breaking the chemistry and 'friendship' of the group you're a part of, and stop Tobe from confessing to you before it happened. You also talked with Hayama about it, which in turn made him becoming more stressed and had no choice but to act the way he did." His words came out of his thin-lined mouth, his dried lips being something she saw as well as his half-lidded eyes piercing her like an invisble spear.

"...However, what you didn't planned was how I was going to act. And needless to say you and a few others were quite shocked last night, didn't you? Not only I exposed Hayama's weak side to nearly all of his friends in one fell swoop, something I had been personally wanting to do for a while now, you also saw me, like Yui, Yukino, Saki and one more person in the park, opening myself and revealing my cards to Yumiko, to a certain degree. Which brings me to how 'scary' I might look to you today. Since I was a bit honest enough last night to show my true self to a small number of you, allow yourself to be honest as well: Do I scare you right now, Hina?"

Hina Ebina was frozen by not only the second part of his explanation, but most of all by the sound of his voice with his last question. It was a complete one-eighty compared to what she, and the others had been used while talking or hearing Hikigaya Hachiman speak. It was like he had been deceiving everyone for so long, almost as if it was now someone else entirely asking her to tell the truth about how she was feeling right now. She couldn't help but shiver slightly.

_'So this is what Yumiko-chan had seen, felt and heard when she met him the other night in the convenience store where she fainted? No doubt she woke up in sweat, asking franctically where she was, and where he was too. It looked like she had an improptu meeting with Death itself from what she told me, but now I think I understand it a bit more, since I'm facing him.. '_

Keeping her smile on her face, Hina Ebina bowed down to him in a respectful manner and thanked him once more for his help, earning a grunt out of his slightly parted lips, and a disturbing small curve upwards on them.

"So you are committed to thank me even though I failed my 'mission' huh? And to lowering yourself by bowing down so much to someone unable to help you out with that personal matter of yours... You are willing to go to great lengths to avoid answering my question, do you, Hina?"

"Come on, you aren't scary! I mean, would I be standing here and thanking you if you were ? You're actually I nice person and it would be rude and improper not to show my gratitude to the person who unlocked this tricky situation so skillfully!" Ebina raised herself and spoke with her smile widening, doing back-and-forth hand gestures to emphasize her point and adding a bit of relief to her speech.

Yet, he merely cocked his head to the side a bit and stood up, walking towards Ebina and stopped right in front of her, the calm look on his face making him eerily menacing.

Without realizing it, her entire cheery attitude crumbled away as soon as she heard the last of his footsteps and met his unwavering cold, calculating and piercing gaze.

"**Is that so? Then pray tell why are you trembling if you aren't scared of me right now, Hina? You see, I am a curious one, I like to know the truth, and I would go, like you, to great lengths to discover it, because to me it's not the manner that matters, it's the results! So if I may, let me ask you my question one more time, and I expect a real answer this time.**"

Hina Ebina couldn't comprehend what was happening around herself anymore. Was he still in character, the same one who tricked them last night? Was this an act to distance himself willingly from everyone else? Was this his true nature all along, like he told Yumiko in the park? Was she really trembling and lying to him, and most importantly to herself when she answered his question?

"**You know, I meant it what I said last night. You really are a delicious piece of a young woman, and I wouldn't mind letting _having a ride _with me. With or without the glasses. They can be as easily and quickly discarded as clothes.**"

Hina didn't realized when or how, but she was suddently pressed, her back against the pillar he had been leaning in, her legs spread open with his body pushed on top of hers, his hands firmly grasping her thighs, not far from her buttcheeks.

He leaned his head forward, and to her continued surprise, he didn't claimed her lips, but merely brushed her left cheek with his and stopped next to her ear before whispering huskily.

"**Something keeps attracting my interest since last evening, something that excited me all night long, and even now, if you can feel it, but due to the proximity of our bodies, I'm sure you can. You see, I had you at gunpoint, I could've been a criminal with a real gun, I groped you roughly, and despite all of that, you struggled that much. Sure I used some strength to keep you in place, but had you wished, you could've escaped at any moment, just like now. And just like now, you didn't scream or anything. You could've used your voice to alert someone nearby, and yet you didn't. Which leads me to this conclusion...**"

"**You actually knew it was me underneath the makeup from the beginning, and you LIKED what I did, just like what I'm doing now! It turns you on, you, a Fujoshi, to be dominated. And if I say I want to have my way with you right here, right now, and make you my woman, rather than being ashamed or refusing, you would more than gladly accept. Dare I say you'd actually be OVERJOYED!**"

She did feel it, she was... How could she not feel that he was as turned on as she herself was right this moment? His deduction was spot on! She had almost immediately deduced that last evening, there was no Joker, just another mask put on top of Hikigaya Hachiman, until he revealed to Yumiko that Hachiman was also a mask. He had been completly commited to play his role as the Joker and faked the threat so well, including his own death, just to expose Hayato Hayama for the fraud he is.

Her arms are barely restrained right now, simply tucked against the frame of her body. If she wants, just like last evening, she can break free. But at the same time, he can make her his, here and now! All they have to do is move her panties a bit, open his zipper and filling her with his manly meaty rock hard pole, pounding her into oblivion as the bitch in heat she is slowly turning into.

"**Sooo Hina-chan, tell me... Do I scare you?**"

The young girl wasted no time answering the obvious question, because to Hina Ebina, as she has discovered last evening, being scared and dominated is what TRULY turns her on.

"YES! Yes I am scared! And I love it! Scare me, dominate me, TAKE ME!"

As if to stab her in the most painful part of her body with an unseen blade, he...

Let go of her and took a few steps back.

Out of the two, it was Hina who was taken aback by the action, and shocked that he liberated her from his hold.

_Wait, liberated?_

"I see you have connected the dots rather quickly Ebina-chan. Although I must admit it was a bit cruel, I played, _toyed_ with you right there. Well, not entirely because I mean it, you are an interesting girl and would make a good lover and girlfriend. But the matter with Tobe and Hayama still being recent events in your head, and the fact that we are limited on time and space, it wouldn't do it."

"Tobe is a bit of an idiot and a loser, but I think he's a nice guy deep down. Are you sure you aren't gonna regret later wasting your chance at having a nice guy by your side? And in the eventuality that you'd be truly be into me and willing to give this _thing_ between us a chance, I would be quite pleased. However, I also have to go through some personal stuff on my own, mainly concerning my 'mask' as Hikigaya Hachiman and sorting things out, things that I am afraid might take a bit of time due to the complexity of it all." He spoke again, with the same smooth tone and peaceful look on his face like he did before, letting a small dose of humor in his words despite the seriousness, _almost_ playfully making fun of the situation they were in.

That definitely caught Ebina off-guard, and it took her a few seconds before she recomposed herself and laughed it off, amusing herself by saying how messed up she was, how she wouldn't be able to make it work out if she hooked with someone _right now_, and how she likes how things are with her friends, making her the happiest she had been in a long while.

As she turned on her heels, about to head back down to the rest of the students and her group of friends, she stopped herself to speak one last time and confessing something, a few words that she couldn't get out of her mouth, but someone else did.

"_'And yet despite what I have, I hate myself.'_ Was what you were trying to say, didn't you? Start regretting things when they're gone, not when you still have them in the palm of your hand. There's nothing wrong about being selfish, everyone is whether they admit it or not. So live while you still can, and enjoy the present, because you never know when things are gonna end."

Ebina's head twitched and whipped to look back at her fellow male classmate, his head lifted towards the sky, but the strange thing was his hair were for some kind of reason hiding the higher half of his face, and she couldn't get a look at his eyes. But to her, it reached deep and no matter what he may have in mind while uttering those words, it struck a chord and perhaps there was some truth to it. Perhaps it was alright to be selfish, and wanting to enjoy life, and what you have in the present, for you may not know what difficulties lies ahead.

She nodded to him with a small grateful smile, silently, made her way to him, giving him a peck on the lips before going back down the stairs, to smile and laugh at Tobe winking at her with his thumb up, Hayama's group seemingly as close as it has ever been, or maybe even more.

_'The fact that everyone lies is a truth. You put up a front, and act as if everything was fine, yet sometimes, people will see through the cracks that something is bothering you, and most often than not, they will keep it hidden as well, creating a chain reaction where one's unhappiness becomes everybody's unhappiness, because of the fact that they don't consider each other close enough to create a real bond of friendship where they could blindly trust someone. As long as you have reservations towards a person yourself, or both, you will never be able to confide and stay in a state of sadness until it breaks you. __Being human is being flawed, and thus, not accepted by normal day's standards._

_That is why, to me..._

__...despite what I have, I hate myself.'__

_Source : Me, Hikigaya 'Hachiman'._


	13. Tainted Love

Hikigaya Komachi, or the cutesy living embodiement of a miniature she-devil. Why does she have to nearly yell in my ears about pointless things? And what about my privacy? Does she even knows what that word means? I seriously wonder sometimes!

At first, it was Shizuka who started meddling with my personal life and her ideas of what would make me a better student and overall person were definitely not my cup of tea whatsoever. Let's not add on top of that the use of brute force! If I had merely wished for it, I could have easily exposed her for child abuse, especially on duty hours as a teacher, and probably get her license revoked, but for whatever reason, I never did.

Rather, I know what I never did it. As Hikigaya Hachiman, I deserved it, most of the time. It would be pretty stupid to lie to myself and say that I didn't had it coming at least three quarters of the time. That's a fact, because I am lazy, stubborn, and have a different view and outlook on the World that people aren't willing to accept or even listen to. And so, the adult will end up as the one, as always, on top of the debate because said person _is_ an adult and has lived a longer life than you, a teenager. Not that I like this way of thinking and doing things, but I can see that.

What I hated however was her use of brute strength on me because I reminded her more times than I perhaps should've that she was still single and the clock was ticking, including for her. A sore spot to be sure, and an unwelcomed one, pretty much like my stomach at the end of basically every day or so.

Fortunately, due to me coming clean with her about certain things I have become too tired to hide from the few people around me, she now has softened a lot. Hell, there are even times when she asks to see me on our usual one-on-one in the teacher's lounge like before, but she doesn't threaten me in any way shape or form, or even scold me for my essays and stuff. No, instead, she do something many would consider either disgusting or illegal.

She flirts almost openly and without shame with me, one of her students!

We shared a kiss together, that is true. Well, two to be exact, but the first one was a pure accident when she gave me a ride back home the night after the Cultural Festival, soon followed by another, that one being fully intentional... And it felt good, right to be frank!

Wait, did I mentionned that one time where she pushed her cigarette between my lips, before taking it back after a took a drag from it? Does that counts as an indirect kiss, or was she already trying to send me a message, a signal? Because if that was the case, maybe, just maybe, it wasn't as much an accident the first time around in the car! Maybe it was part of her plan from the beginning and I fell for it... For her...

"Gaaaah! Get out of my head! Those aren't the things I should be thinking about right now! Leave me alone!" I scream loudly while grabbing both sides of my head and shaking my hair with my hands, shocking the person on the opposite side of the table, in front of me.

"Very well, Gomi-chan. Komachi will leave you alone, since you don't want your cute little sister to talk to about your personal life. I will find my informations anyway. Don't forget to lock the door behind you." Komachi says as she coldly gets up, closes the door of the kitchen with more strength than usual, and picks her belongings ready to go to her school in the entrance of the house.

After a few seconds of silence, and reminding myself that I was having an internal monologue for the first time in a while, a very Hachiman-like thing I don't do that often anymore, if not at all, I hear her high-pitched voice exclaiming herself again loudly, this time closer to her natural tone.

"I'm sure something happened! Gomi-chan! Boke-nasu! Hachiman!"

A vein instantly pops on my head, as well as a tick mark, and I let out an angry snarl showing some of my sharp teeth at the door.

_You might be cute most of the time Komachi, but **THAT** is something I don't really appreciate that much anymore... Be very careful, or else, I might get my revenge on you._

I end up eating and clean the dishes quickly before going back to the bathroom and stare at myself in the mirror for a couple of minutes, looking at my face.

"Tch..."

Before I register what had happened, I feel a sharp pain coming from my left hand and see that I punched the wall next to the mirror, and broke a few porcelain tiles. Not only that but my hand is now a bright red, especially my knuckles. No doubt this will swell and perhaps bleed, as I slowly retract my hand to get a good look at it, seeing thankfully a small cut that doesn't bleed that much. However, I know the truth, this is a very bad omen...

Up until recently, I have been able to put up with the persona and habits of Hikigaya Hachiman despite not being him. My knowledge of his inner workings is directly linked to the memories I have of his story up until a certain point in time, and even if I have some time left before reaching that time limit, the fact that time kept passing since that day nearly made me forget who I was, and it took me some time to truly remember who I was, and how different yet sometimes similar his and my ways were. But as of recently, I've shown way too much cracks in my mask, and I am truthfully not able to keep it on any longer. I have reached my own time limit, as Hikigaya Hachiman, meaning the day approaches where I will have to come out clean about my real identity!

Today is the day where I will be presented for the first time to Iroha, thanks to Shizuka and Meguri Shiromeguri, the actual president of the student council. And if my memory serves me right and to make matters worst, at the end of this very same day, I will encounter both Haruno Yukinoshita, and Kaori Orimoto, the girl in high school who is partly responsible for what Hikigaya Hachiman had become.

Such a pain in the ass, on top as the pain in my hand! I do hope that at least, the mood in class and in the Service Club will be more bearable than it is supposed to originally be, or else, I might ending up blowing my brains out really soon, and not with a fake gun this time!

Did I mentionned how much of a pain in the ass this was? Pretty sure I already did...

Well if I did so, it's mainly because it's exactly what it feels! And I'm not talking about a lethal and unexpected dose of homework or some stupid assignement, no no no! The ambiance, the mood in the classroom is exactly the same as it should be! Not a _damn_ change!

Well, if you look closely, a few things seem different. Saki is still looking at the window to see if a Death Note is magically falling from the sky, standing next to Ebina nodding and giving her fujoshi opinion about Tobe, Hayama, and his two other friends in-between two or three sentences exchanged from Yumiko to Yui, down to Saika greeting me and somehow complaining about how it wasn't my usual way to greet her... HIM! FUCKING HELL!

As far as I can see from the corners of my eyes, it looks as if everything is right back to square one, as if that trip to Kyoto and this whole situation never happened. That would be on the surface at least, if you were a random student with next to no perceptive skills whatsoever. Fortunately, or maybe UN-fortunately, I'm able to see through this usual group-like behaviour and sensing a bit more tension, but for an unknown reason, it's between Hayama and Yumiko.

I know that what Yumiko witnessed, both coming from Hayama and myself, was probably something that made her questionning herself and her feelings for him to some extend, but to see her almost acting as if he wasn't there, not fawning over him like she used to do, and, as if I wouldn't notice it, taking quick glances at me when she thought no one, including me wouldn't notice... Give me more credit, please! You now know I'm not as dumb as I look.

With that said and done, I get up and exit the classroom, walking in the hallway and heading towards the vending machine. I introduce the requiered amount of money and just like I did in the hotel in Kyoto, I break my rule for the second time, deciding that I will go for a change, and pick up a can of Coca-Cola, in memory of old times's sake, which proved unhealthy in the long run for my own past.

_Heh, no dwelling on that I suppose..._

I sit in the stairwell leading towards the clubroom, and take my sweet time drinking it, occcasionally glancing at the hour on my phone, while listening through my earplugs at my playlist of musics. As I am halfway through my can, I feel a pair of eyes looking up at me, and I notice those two red orbs shimmering from below.

_So Yui is the one waiting for me, not choosing to go ahead huh? Well, perhaps she wants to talk, even though right now, it's her gaze that would be 'creepy', not mine._

"Yui? I thought you already were with Yukino in the clubroom, talking about whatever new discovery you might've made. Is there something you want to talk to me about? I mean not that I promise to listen to what you'll say in it's entirety because it will probably involve your group of friends which I am not a big fan of, but-"

"That was a dick move, you know ?"

My head recoils itself, and my eyes widen in surprise and shock at what I just heard. There is no anger on her face, no anger in her tone either, just some disappointment and sadness thrown my way. So I'm still facing the consequences about the Kyoto trip huh? Still, it feels weird to hear a sweet girl like her swearing. I mean, me? It's nearly in my genes, so to speak! Yukino, don't think so, she's too much of a self-proclaimed '_perfect_' person to '_lower herself to such depravity, something her graceful mind and manners wouldn't allow her to do even if her life depended on it_'. But Yui, really?

"Hum, I know I have a tendency to act that way, but you mind telling which part exactly of what I did was a 'dick move'? I do so much of those that my memory sometimes need to be refreshed about which was and which wasn't." I tell her by raising my eyebrow in a mixture of curiosity, and a bit of scepticism. Like, honestly, Yui Yuigahama of all the people, telling me I made a 'dick move'? What else, it's gonna rain cows? Pigs?

She points her right index finger with a slightly contorted face towards... Wait, is that it?

"My hand? What's wrong about my left hand? I injured myself this morning because I slipped on the wet floor of the bathroom of my house and I landed in an awkward position, hurting my hand. What's the 'dick move' in that? Accidents do happen, even to me, you know?" I speak, unwillingly letting out a bit of sarcasm dripping in my words, which doesn't seem to soften the mood on her face, quite the opposite actually.

"I know I'm not as smart as Yukinon, or you, and the only thing I have are my moderately decent looks, on top of being an airhead. That places me even below Yumiko or Saki-chan in terms of popularity with the guys. There is one I like though, and I don't know how he feels about me, and I'm afraid that if I wait for too long, he will choose another girl. He is not perfect, but to me, even with his defaults he is still perfect to me... so that's why..." She starts speaking with a low voice and her head lowering itself, looking at the ground, when I spot a tear running down her left cheek, and falling.

"That's why I can't handle the fact that you are obviously hurting yourself, and it's something I hate about you, Hikigaya Hachiman. How am I supposed to love someone who hurts himself, and tries to lie to me when I know that this wasn't an accident? I'm not as dumb as you think, you know?" Yui lifts up her head, tears falling down on her face, as she meets my shocked gaze with her red eyes starting to become puffy, a displeased and this time, angry look on her face, her features contorted in a deep scowl.

This sweet girl saw right through my bandaged hand, right through my deceit, through my lie that I myself thought was well-crafted and would work... She saw right through me!

For the second time in minutes, I am shocked beyond belief, and I have to say, I haven't felt that in ages. Calling Yui dumb or stupid would be a very large overstatement. As she said so herself, she certainly isn't the brightest mind sometimes, but in what she lacks with knowledge, she clearly makes it up with perception and gut-feeling.

One question plagues my mind as I am still under the shock of her legitimate outburst: Did I underestimated her? Did I rest way too easy on my knowledge and literally didn't saw that one coming? Is this the same Yui Yuigahama she was in the original story? But on top of all of that, out of all the words she said...

_'How am I supposed to love someone who hurts himself...'_

She confessed her love to me!

Yui Yuigahama confessed her feelings for the person, this classmate and fellow clubmember she knows as Hikigaya Hachiman!

_Well, it seems like the Ripple effect, or Butterfly effect is already acting, and things are starting to change... _


	14. Desecration Smile

Yui and I walk in the hallway leading to the Service Club's room, her right hand holding my bandaged left hand, something she presonally requested to do for the short trip. I accepted only after helping her wiping her tears away from her eyes, cleaning her face, and apologizing about making her worried.

She is now doing a bit better, regaining slowly her cheerful personality as we make our way to the clubroom, even if I still sense her being upset at me. On top of being worried for me, she cried and confessed her feelings in front of me, something that I can't forget or erase from my mind even if I wanted to.  
Just when I thought the situation was already complex, it now becomes a terrifying and deadly trap I happened to jump into. And I can't get out of it now that I'm its prisoner.

"So, how is Yukino doing?" I let out the question passing off my lips, and Yui stops walking, tightening a bit her hold on my hand, which makes me wince. She realizes her doing and apologizes to me, nursing my hand by carefully and gently rubbing it between hers. Despite the bright red blush on her face, I can see her eyes looking at the ground, and sadness seeping out of them.

"Yukinon has been furious at you for what happened with Tobecchi and Hina-chan. Saki-chan and Hina-chan understood why you did it, and said that it was a dangerous yet effective solution to bring everyone's feelings out. Now thanks to that, everyone in the group is getting closer and have a better bond with each other, but to Yukinon, she thinks you are an..."

"An asshole? A dangerous perverted maniac with schyzophrenic tendencies who should be locked up? Some sort of hypocritical coward who ran away after taking great pleasure in destroying Hayama's 'good guy' persona in front of his friends? And that I perhaps I did it only to enjoy even further the concept of _'his lost is my gain'_?" I interject, earning a subtle nod from Yui, keeping her head hung low.

"Well, it's Yukino Yukinoshita we're talking about! Someone who isn't even honest with herself and what she wants. Someone who knows perfectly my way of doing things, and yet, despite the results, she doesn't like that part of me. I even got her approval on top of yours about the whole plan, saying that she trusted me, and now she's complaining. Tcheh!" I snort while closing my eyes, hearing a soft noise coming from the girl next to me who keep my hand sandwiched between hers.

"What about you then, Yui?"

Immediately, her head lifts itself and she looks me with the same sadness as before in her red eyes, and a sad smile on her face matching the glance she is giving me.

"Hikki... I am scared. Yukinon is my friend, and I like what the three of us have in this club, the fact that even if I am an airhead I can help people and my friends. But I am scared to lose Yukinon as my friend, and to lose you as well Hikki. But now, I'm also scared of something else..." Her trembling voice and the tears starting to form in the corners of her eyes are telling me that there is a great trouble coming with her next words.

"I'm scared because I've been seeing it today, Hikki. When I talked with Yumiko and the rest of the group, and even in class, Yumiko and Saki-chan were both looking at you, Hikki. They were looking at you with the same way I know I look at you! Not only that, but Yumiko has been giving the cold shoulder to Hayato as of late, pretty much the same way Yukinon does with you. I'm afraid to lose my friends, but I am even more afraid to lose you, Hikki..."

" ... "

_Fucking hell! I fucking knew it! This is bad, this is really, really bad! I can't stop Yui, and I can't comfort her either because if I do, it would mean I give her a definitive answer, and that messes up with my plan! I can't break Yui or pretend I don't give a rat's ass about her feelings, and I can't accept her confession neither! Shit, shit, shit, FUCKING SHIT! What do I do? I've never been in a situation like this before with all my years of experience, what do I..._

My eyes widen suddently as I consider what seems to be, in my mind, the worst yet only idea I ever had since I've been born...

_The answer is not what am I gonna do, but rather what Hikigaya Hachiman would do, in my place! I've been approaching the problem the wrong way! Yui, Yukino, Yumiko, everyone still perceive me as Hikigaya Hachiman, not the person I truly am because I haven't told them the truth yet! So if I keep staying in character and playing as Hachiman, I will gain a short break which will allow me to rethink about an alternate solution, and come up with a believable excuse later on! Now, think! What would Hachiman would do?_

"What are you talking about? You can't lose me if I am already part of your friends, right?"

_I couldn't have done such a thing, right? There's no way I probably destroyed this sweet girl's hopes and feelings with that stupid cheesy and downright hateful one-liner, did I? Of course not, heh, who am I kidding? This isn't me..._

_...This would be Hikigaya Hachiman._

Not even a gasp, not a lump in her throat, her wet lips partly opened in shock, her eyes staring at me emptily, and the more I look into them, the more I see not my own reflection, nor the reflection of who I used to be like it happened when I talked as my true self with Hina on the rooftop of the Kyoto train station when we left. I see the reflection of the REAL Hikigaya Hachiman, like this very morning in the bathroom's mirror, creepily smirking at me, mocking me, seemingly enjoying the predicament I'm in from the Afterlife or wherever that shit is!

Yui can't even utter a word, but even with her blank and empty stare, she can still see my reaction, and she starts panicking for a very good reason. I, rather than her, am the one becoming angry at myself. I am the one who is clenching his fists so hard my right hand's knuckles whiten and my left hand bleeds through the bandages. I am the one who, right now, want to wipe that fucking sickening smirk of Hikigaya Hachiman's face, and knock his teeth out one by one. I am the one swallowing hardly the lump that unconsciously formed in my throat.

If in ordinary times, Yukino Yukinoshita is called the 'Ice Queen' because she seems surrounded by a cold and freezing aura, and Yumiko Miura is called the 'Fire Queen' because of her hot and burning temperament, I don't officially have a name or an aura.

But right now, If there is something filling the usual nothingness I have inside of me, the real me that both Yumiko Miura and Hina Ebina have already met, it's a certain something called Darkness. The combined anger, resentment, hatred, and all of my most dark and dangerous emotions from both my past and present life mixed together creating a dreadful and frightening cocktail.

I suddently feel shaken by someone or something, and let out a breath I didn't know I held for how long. My eyes grow wide as I see my bandaged left hand merely an inch away from one of the large windows in the corridor, the clubroom's door open with Yukino looking at me with concern and fear in her steely blue eyes, and...

_Did I...? Was I really about to shatter this window with my fist? Did I really got so consumed by my anger and my feelings of self-loathing I momentarely snapped and nearly destroyed my injured hand without realizing it?_

"!"

Yui...

Yui is hugging me tightly, as if her life is depending of me, clinging to me while sobbing loudly in my chest. From what I can conclude by this scene with my now more down-to-Earth quick thinking and piecing back things together, the most plausible scenario that just took place is this:

_Yui was scared, and called my name out loud, but I couldn't hear it because of the deep trance I was in, just like this morning. This however, caught the attention of Yukino, and she saw me cocking my injured fist back, about to punch the window. But from her closed lips, she didn't called my name like Yui did. Yui placed herself in front of me, and hugged me as my left arm had already started moving, but her quick action woke me up and prevented me from injuring myself even further. She picked up the fact that what '_**I**_' said to her, while still in character as Hachiman, wasn't something I truly meant to say. She most likely realized I was angry at myself because I said something that would've hurt her. And yet, by threatening to reopening my wound and causing further damage on my hand, I probably made her angry and upset at me again, hence why she is so heavily crying... Good job, me!_

Both for Yui and Yukino as well, I think there is only one thing I can say right now that resumes how I am feeling, and perhaps, if I can be somehow allowed to dream a little, might help resolve the tension that would've grown between us.

"For all it's worth, and I know it isn't much or justify what I said and did, to both of you, Yui, Yukino... I'm sorry. I really am."

Yukino, who was still holding her book in her hand, unconsciously left it fall on the ground.

Yui, who was still crying against my chest, lifted her head upwards, and called me an idiot.

"Hikki/Hikigaya-kun! Are you alright?"

I grumble out loud, palming my face with my bleeding left hand, a few drops of blood landing and trickling down my face as I feel a bit weak and dizzy.

"Yeah... Mmmmh, I mean, as alright as someone could be after falling in some sort of trance, with a bleeding hand, about to create an even deeper wound by punching and shattering the glass of a window, and having hallucinations. Oh, did I said something weird as well, or was it simply in my already deranged mind?" I say with a lot of sarcasm in my tired voice, my eyelids burning and threatening to close themselves, my balance a bit off.

As I patted Yui's head gently with my right hand and mouthed a small _'Thank you'_, I could feel my body growing heavier, and my strength diminishing quite drastically. I know where this comes from, and what I have to do to resolve this problem.

I quickly react and let go of the hug I'm sharing with Yui to place my right hand against the window I had aimed a punch at to support my weight, and avoid falling on the ground.

"As much as I don't like to rely on others, for reasons that are my own and perhaps obvious to you, I don't feel too well right now, far from it in fact. So, if it is not asking too much, can I ask for your help to bring me in the clubroom, and giving me something to eat, preferably with some sugar, and water as well ? I just ask because, if not, I'm probably going to fall on the floor unconscious in the next two minutes, and might end up this nice day in a place I don't really like visiting, AKA the nurse's office, or worse, the hospital. Thank you kindly."

Yukino instantly moves up to me and Yui, and with a combined effort, nodding to each other, the two girls manage to drag me slowly and carefully in the clubroom, helping me to sit down on my chair. What they didn't expected from me was however to choose a more comfortable position, and a rather uncommon one for them to witness.

I get up despite their warnings and my own lack of strength, and dragging myself tiredly until I turned and crashed my back against the wall on the side of the door, sliding down and finally, lying on my back on the floor, with a strained yet satisfied smile on my face, letting out a sigh of relief.

"Aaaah, nothing can beat lying on your back, whether in bed or not! Best feeling ever!"

Because it took me a considerable amount of time to realize the hidden meaning of my sentence due to being tired and literally drained of energy, my brain worked at a rather slow pace compared to normal, but when I heard the awkward and abrupt silence that followed my words, I wondered if I said something wrong, which was the case.

"That's not what I mean. Sometimes I sleep on the floor of my room because of the back pain I tend to have. That's it! Don't take it out of context okay? It's an NBD for me too, got it?" I turn my head to look at them with a slightly panicked stare, and a voice that sounds more like an outburst rather than a plain statement aiming to correct any mistake I might have said.

Yukino looks at me in shock, before turning her face in the opposite direction, and I see it move subtly while hearing a noise like... giggling?

IS YUKINO YUKINOSHITA ACTUALLY GIGGLING BECAUSE OF MY OUTBURST?

SHE IS! YOU ARE TAKING IT TOO FAR WOMAN! MAKING FUN OF ME WHEN I AM WOUNDED AND UNABLE TO DEFEND MYSELF! SHAME ON YOU! YOU WILL BURN, WITCH!

Yui however looks at me with the same blush I saw covering Yukino's cheeks before she turned away, and nods firmly and repeatedly, before staring back at me, confused.

"Hey, Hikki, what's an NB...C, whatever?"

"Huh, it's an acronym, an abreviation of a series of words meaning something obviously. Like, Student Council President would be SCP, or 'I O U' literally meaning _'I Owe You'_. In that case, NBD means Never Been Don..."

Yui and I immediately realizes what I just said, and not only her blush grows a deeper shade of red, matching her eyes, but I am having one on my face too. As for Yukino...

She stopped giggling, dead in her tracks, and stands immobile, like a statue, not even a hair moving.

Then, comes a knock on the door, and although it's not in her habits to do that, I can already picture Shizuka coming in the clubroom. But what worries me now is one thing, one single damned thing:

_Did she heard those stupid words that came out of my mouth? Because if she did, either she will make fun of me until I draw my last breath, OR, she will do ANY POSSIBLE THING, to make herself my first time. Not that I am against it, but I would likely do it without being tied, forced, or against my will!_

The next thing I saw entering the clubroom was a confused Shizuka, looking from the far side at an unmoving Yukino, to a cloud forming over the head of Yui which ears were blowing out steam, and finally...

_...Yep, considering that eat-shitting grin she has on her face when she's looking at me, she DEFINITELY heard it and I'm fucked!_

_Well, not fucked _'that way'_ yet, but that might just close the gap even further now. Go on, just, fuck me already so we're done with it!_


	15. I'm Going Slightly Mad

**Warning ahead: May contain slight bashing.**

* * *

"Hikigaya! What happened to you? Gods, you even have some of it on your face! We need to clean you up!" Shizuka exclaims herself as she walks and crouch to my side, holding my wrist carefully, a predatory grin on her face as she gazes into my eyes.

"You could've thought of something even more tendencious to say, you know? Also, that rapeface perfectly suits the kind of sexually induced damage you want to do to me now that you have the confirmation over a certain topic. I guess it means 'You and I, tonight, date, then bed', or am I wrong in assuming what your eyes are saying with that blinking that looks like some sort of morse code?" I mutter discreetly, glancing occasionnally at Yui and Yukino, both girls seemingly too absorbed in their own respective worlds to care or hear the conversation I am having barely above a breath with Shizuka.

Hell, I think both girls are so entranced by whatever their minds are showing them that they forget I injured myself, again! And needed a bit of medical assistance, or in short, help.

They didn't even moved, said a word or reacted when Shizuka knocked, came in, and spoke with her usual loud enough voice. In some twisted kind of way, I'm pretty sure she could either abduct me or make love to me in front of those two and they wouldn't bat an eye...

The joy of having people who say they care about you, huh?

Well, time to do something I don't like, AKA, getting some attention.

"I injured myself this morning in my bathroom as what could be considered a domestic accident. When I came to the club meeting, Yuigahama said she found me in the hallway unconsciously clenching said hand, thus reopening the wound. As for why I'm lying on my back, I find it more comfortable since losing blood means draining my strength, and making it kind of impossible for me to sit or be in any other position than this one. I was promised some help, but as you can see, THE SERVICE CLUB ISN'T WHAT IT USED TO BE!" I shout, nearly yell, both the first and last part, the latter with an angry glare and some slight anger coming out of my mouth, stating in a matter-of-fact and perfectly composed way the rest of my explanation.

My very subtle and sudden outburst seemed to finally have an effect on my clubmates, as both of them are pulled out of their inner thoughts, and gasp audibly, before running into each other and nearly knocking themselves out when they both rushed to my side.

Of course, I did the only thing a human being given a brain and enough brain cells to pass the entry test to Sobu High School with a relative ease could do.

I facepalmed myself with my right hand, HARD!

If it wasn't for the fact that I had an open wound that needed to be treated, had blood coming out of it, soaking the bandages, and a bit of it on my face, Shizuka would've laughed out loud. Hell, she almost did and bit her lip to keep it as a 'merely controlled giggle'.

_God, you fucker up there, if you hear me, I wanna trade my place with Hikigaya Hachiman. I don't know why you did that, but if it was for the sole purpose of amusing yourself, and for him to pity me, then you can fuck yourself quite literally, and take turns with whoever wants a piece of it!_

"Is everything alright, Hiratsuka-sensei?" Meguri Shiromeguri entered the clubroom, and saw what anyone else would've either called 'a circus', or 'a disaster', but certainly not the same Service Club who helped her and the rest of the council student with the Cultural Festival and the Sagami fiasco. Long gone are those days... Even if in terms of relativity, the span of time that actually separated now from back then isn't that big of a gap.

Then came a fox! Oh, excuse me, by a fox I mean a first class in this magnificent and prestigious High School, named Isshiki Iroha. The curious look she gives, along Meguri-san is self-explanatory and could be resumed in one sentence : What the fuck is going on here?

Which is kind of a coincidence because I was asking myself the same damn question.

"Hrm, don't mind me, or anything else around you for that matter. Just take a seat at the table, and start explaining what your problem is and how can we help you, without asking any question about what this whole situation is about or how it started. Thank you and please, go ahead." I speak with a very formal and professional tone, making a hand gesture with my right hand towards the chairs and the table, to which the two newcomers went.

"Now if I could have my injury treated, and my two knocked-out clubmates to wake up from their nap, it would be a very welcomed thing to have, because with some of my blood leaking out of my body, my brain tends to work at a less than efficient rate, hence taking longer to understand things, but also processing to reach an idea on how to solve the problem that brings you in." I say, grunting as I force myself to sit against the wall, and forcing my eyes to remain open, seeing something quite peculiar not only in Meguri's eyes, but also reflected in Iroha's.

"Do you wear some make-up, senpai?"

Oh oh...

Don't tell me...

"What makes you think that, Isshiki?" I put my mask back on as soon as I felt myself thinking and asking questions in my mind.

"Oooh, senpai already knows my name! Also, you have something that runs down your face, and not the blood I mean, which is kind of gross by the way..."

Isshiki says while pointing out towards the right side of my face, grimacing slightly while mentionning the blood, and Meguri nodding along.

_And of course no one told me about that, including you, Shizuka!_

Is what I not only say in my mind, but what I tell through the murderous glare I send at the gorgeous yet slightly embarassed teacher, still crouched on the left side of where I was previously lying on the floor. I can almost see her hopes for tonight crumbling when her eyes locks with mine and she seems to receive the message **crystal clear**.

"Well Hiratsuka-san here told me about the two of you when she first came in. So obviously I would know your name, but still, nice to meet you, Isshiki. And don't bother with the formal stuff like suffix and the whole 'senpai-kouhai' thing, I couldn't care any less about that. What I do care about though, is the increasing probability of the infection of my wound increasing as time keeps passing, **Hiratsuka-san. And the fact that my two other classmates, YUKINOSHITA-SAN AND YUIGAHAMA-SAN are still counting sheeps in their dreams while I slowly but surely, bleed to death.**"

Towards the end, my words are laced with sarcasm and anger, and I feel like a wild snake lashing out a spray of venom at my preys, right in front of me. The whole thing, all while keeping a perfectly straight face, even going as far as letting out a peaceful small smile, curtly borrowed from Hayama Hayato himself, and a cool, almost deadly chilling tone.

For some kind of reason, Hallelujah, it worked, my wish had been granted! And no, not the 'God please I trade my place with Hikigaya Hachiman' wish unfortunately. Both Yui and Yukino suddently woke up, looked confused at each other, then to Shiromeguri and Isshiki, before finally landing their blue and red eyes on me, and an almost scared and tearful Shizuka.

_Hold on, keep yourself calm and think ahead. You still have Haruno to meet at the Master Donut restaurant, Kaori Orimoto and her friend Chika back there as well, before Haruno amuses herself by calling on her phone Hayama and 'forcefully' asks him to join us. Yep, my day isn't done just yet, the worst is still to come..._

Ten minutes pass and what do you know, I have my ass sitting on my chair, my left hand now cleaned and bandaged again, my right hand cupping the right side of my face, supported by my elbow resting on the wood of the table, while Yukino and Yui listen to Isshiki and Meguri's exposed problem over the future of the presidency of the student council.

The only odd parameter and out of place being : Why the fuck is Shizuka sitting on my lap?

That woman is fucking possessive, and will get me burned by every single other woman wanting me on their side for personal reasons, I swear it.

"Do you have someone in mind to give your campaign speech?" I ask , looking towards Isshiki who shakes her head no.

"Then it's gonna be simple. Even if it ends up as a vote of confidence, we just need to make sure she can lose without taking any damage, right? In short, everyone need to understand it's not her fault she lost. If people lose confidence in her because of her campaign speech, no one will give her a second thought or will she be blamed." I blurt out in fake realization, as if I had connected the dots. How thankful I am for remembering what Hachiman would say in nearly all situations. Not only quoting him, but also implementing my own output to make it more believable.

As expected, Yukino didn't liked my idea very well, reminiscing her way too much to her liking about the unexpected turn of events in Kyoto. Even if the results were there, and I apologized to her and Yui earlier on, it would appear she truly hold grudges.

Well too bad I am also one who hold grudges, and could be very cruel to people who want to get back at me for a pointless and pitiful motive.  
As the meeting between the Service Club and the two other girls was resumed, Yukino asked for Shizuka to stay a bit longer and fatefully wondered what were the standings in the 'contest' Shizuka herself had put us through.

_And so there it is. No matter how some things turn out to end up differently, some others unfortunately seem bound to stay the same. To think I wondered this morning how today's events would play out compared to the original timeline, even worried a bit about them... Silly of me._

I didn't need to listen to what would follow as I knew perfectly what would be said, and what decision would be reached. So, wordlessly, with what could be called a 'look of defeat' on my face, that was actually genuine due to the fact I had thought maybe things would be different and Yukino would understand, I stepped out of the Service Club's room, no more Shizuka Hiratsuka to keep me in place by sitting on my lap.

"Did something happen?"

"Did something happen? Really? Didn't you heard it from the **_president_** of the Service Club **_herself_**? I sure didn't, but I think it was something along the lines of _'suggesting free participation'_, how _'hers and my methods weren't compatible and would only cause a hindrance in our work'_, and how _'That kind of deception was what she thought me and her hated the most'_. So yeah, something happened. I guess all because of a_ certain someone_'s little 'showdown' to see who would earn the most points by solving other students's problems. Maybe you have an idea about who that _certain someone_ is?"

"Hikigaya-"

"**There is no Hikigaya Hachiman here. I apologized to both her and Yuigahama about the way I 'solved' the problem in Kyoto, she accepted my apologies, and yet she keeps holding this grudge over me, all while being absurdly hypocritical about her own self. Too bad, like she once said and like I thought to myself earlier, I too, am someone who holds grudges, and am rather stubborn and cruel when it comes down to this kind of stuff. So if she thought she perhaps could intimidate me the same way others did before, well, it will come right back at her, and she'll end up drowning herself in her own tears. It doesn't matter if I am some sort of 'kind soul' who hurts himself or not. Now, it becomes personal.**"

With that sorted out of my chest and mind, I keep walking forward with a focused and resentful hatred in mind, ready to give what it takes to pulverize, to crush, to annihilate Yukino Yukinoshita.

Or so I let them think, Shizuka included.

Even if I am truly pissed about the nerves of Yukino, she needs to learn from her own mistakes, and I do so happen to know exactly the kind of person who can help me bring her 'hopes' down. After all, when they say 'an eye for an eye', if you transform this analogy into actual people, it can be translated as : 'Only a Yukinoshita can tear another Yukinoshita apart.'

And that's exactly where I'm heading towards, this other Yukinoshita, at the Master Donut restaurant.


	16. Smiling Like A Killer

**Location : Master Donut, restaurant . Evening.**

"Hey, there's a face I don't see often." I hear on my right side, turning my head to see the happy waving of one Haruno Yukinoshita. She seems to be sitting by herself, alone at a table. I fake being annoyed, and keep walking past her, sitting by myself at the counter with my food in a tray.

I barely have enough time to put the tray on the counter and finish sitting that she is already sitting herself next to me, placing her own tray in front of her.

"There was no need to run away, you know. Talk about rude." She says to me, pouting with an apologetic look that I would believe to be real, if I didn't knew...

"I'm fine being by myself, and I wouldn't want to bother you." I merely reply in my bored tone.

After a few minutes of pretending to read the book in my right hand, Haruno looks at my left hand, and, probably wanting to be diverted as well, asks me the thousand dollar question.

"Hey, Hikigaya-kun... Tell me something interesting. Like, what happened to your hand?"

I inwardly grin, as I finally managed to get her baited out. Now all I need to do is to keep her entertained and interested, and I have a rough idea on how to do this... Let's see how it plays out.

"Huh? Oh, a domestic accident. I stumbled and fell over in the bathroom this morning because the floor was slippery. Just a scratch and I bandaged it, but it opened itself again this afternoon after I mistakenly tried to do some effort with it." I casually answer her question with a plain and bland expression on my face.

"Oooh, and does it hurts?" She asks, taking hold of my hand being free, and gently rubbing the fresh bandage wrapped over my wound with her silky smooth her own hand.

"Hmm, no. I don't want to reopen the wound again though, so please be careful, Yukinoshita-san." I speak, turning slightly my head away from her, with a light blush on my face she notices, and causes her so smirk a bit.

_I am slowly getting your attention, Haruno-chan, but I know that you have more tricks up your sleeves. It's way too early to yell 'Victory'._

"Say, Hikigaya-kun... I'm not bothering you somehow, am I?" Haruno Yukinoshita interrogates me a bit more, lowering her voice down to a worried tone.

"N-Not at all, Yukinoshita-sa-"

"Come on, Hikigaya-kun, you can call me 'Haruno'. Or even 'Onee-san' if you want." She interrupts my splutter with now a playful voice.

"I-I'm not sure if this would be a good idea, Haru- I mean Yukinoshita-san!" I try my best to genuinely act prude and embarassed, but damn is it hard to stay in character for so long.

Usually, after I get out of school, I go back home and relax myself while Komachi isn't there, and let out my true personality out, or else I would forget entirely who I am and turn out into a real, yet pale copy of Hikigaya Hachiman. This might be the first time in a while I'm actually in character for such an extended period of time. I don't thought it would be so exhausting.

"Awww, you almost made it! I know, if you can say my name, I'll give you a re~ward~ Hikigaya-kuuun~..."

The way she sing-songs the end of her sentence means she's either honest, or playing with me and pulling my leg. There's also a chance she already knows I'm messing with her, even if it's a very small chance. Still, because it's slim doesn't mean it can be ignored...

And now I'm talking like L from Death Note, while stating something that could be interpreted as perverted. From bad to worse!

"And what kind of r-reward would that be, Yukinoshita-san?" I can't allow myself to lose too much time though, as I am sure Orimoto and her friend will be there soon, bringing us to the arranged date with Hayama, and ruining my chance to make a deal with Haruno. Come on woman, go for the kill! Go straight to the point and mark your territory if it's what it takes!

"Aren't you curious now, Hikigaya-kuuun~. You have to try and seeeee~..." She keeps the playful tone in her voice, and those words were all I needed, well, on top of something else.

"**I will see what I can do then, Haruno-chan~**." I reply to her, locking my eyes into hers as I switch to my natural deeper voice, and mimicking the playful tone she speaks with.

Needless to say her composure changes instantly as soon as I finish my sentence. My narrowed eyes, my small smirk, the way I can see my eyes shining in her own, it almost scares her and she recoils a bit, nearly letting go of my hand.

"Hey, you said you'd be gentle and give me a reward if I tried, so I did. Or was it just a poorly made prank with the only goal to trick me into doing or saying something you wanted to hear? Was it blackmail for your sister maybe? I mean, when it happened to you so much in the past, you start getting a bit paranoid and wonder 'What would be the reason for this person to act that way?', and from that point onwards, you keep coming out with hypothesis and theories. Don't blame me if I turned into what society made me... If that makes any sense."

Haruno seems to wake up from a trance, and stares at me, blinking a bit before scrutinizing me. Come on woman, is that what you normally do when people lower their mask? Do you do the same when you look at yourself in the mirror?

"I see... So you are wearing a mask too! To think it would be something we have in common you and I... Perhaps it would be a mistake to let Yukino-chan have you... By the way, how is she doing?"

"And you just ruined our first romantic moment together right there, Haruno-chan. Sincerely, if you are so concerned about your little sister, why asking me who knows next to nothing about her personal life? Just when you were starting to become more interesting and actually had a chance to take me for yourself... I guess it can't be helped, you missed your chance! I'll see ya 'round!" I let out a disappointed sigh, retracting my left hand from Haruno's grasp, picked my belongings and stood up, giving her a lazy wave as I started to walk away.

_Now that I got your interest, you only have two options: a) You let me go and think I will turn back, but will be sorely disappointed when I won't and effectively let your chance go to waste , or b)..._

"Hikigaya-kun, wait! How about we go talk to another place, in private? You got me curious right now, and there is more I want to know, because I know there is more you're hiding."

Her tone is serious. She is refraining herself from pleading, from begging me to stay with her a bit longer. However, this could still be a possibility that SHE is the one leading the game, and actually playing along. I need to stay on my guards, whatever happens...

Even if that doesn't prevent me from grinning like a madman inside my mind!

"Fine. You lead the way, since I'm not very familiar with this part of town. That and ladies first, I guess." I slightly turn my head towards her, my eyes widening ever so slightly as I spot in the reflection of the glass door Orimoto and her friend approaching near the entrance of the restaurant. Hurry up Yukinoshita or I will definitely leave without you! Curse me for wasting my time with that pitiful act!

Thankfully, She hops of her seat and grab my right arm at a speed and strength that surprises me a little, almost dragging me through the other exit of this place. I let out a discreet sigh and Haruno who calls out for a taxi. Soon enough, one cab stops and she gives the driver, a man, the location of her apartment.

I'll retrieve my bike later, it doesn't matter right now. After all, according to my _'motto'_, _'Only the results matter'_.

I bit back a smirk and a small laugh, when she seems genuinely happy and firmly reinforces her hold on my right arm, pressing it nearly between her breasts.

After an uneventful trip in town, the cab stops and both Haruno and I exit it, standing in front of what seems to be a modern yet rather plain-looking building. I follow her, or rather she drags me into her den, on the third floor, and opens the door a beautifully sculpted oak wooden door.

Her interior is nothing fancy, contrary to what I would've thought. A few family photos hanging on the walls, some expensive furnitures from what I can assume, but nothing that screams 'busy' or 'loaded'. Quite reassuring.

What surprises me though, is how strict Haruno and Yukino's mother, and yet the two daughters both live in separate apartments in town, rather than sharing the family house. Oh well, food for thought later I presume...

"So, Hikigaya-kun, how about you take a seat, hmm?" Her cheery voice remains, and I guess I have to play along, since now it's her home, her rules. Well, save for a few exceptions...

I take a seat next to her, barely letting an inch between the two of us, and she smiles widely when she takes notice of this.

"Oooh, how bold of you, _Hikigaya-kun~_."

"So, what do you want to know about little ol' me, Haruno-chan?" I turn to face her, locking myself again in her eyes who shine with a glint I know too well. It's the same kind Shizuka gave me today, and I know what it means : When I will exit this apartment, things will never be the same between the Yukinoshita sisters. Oh well, if this is what it takes to make my plan complete...

"Well, everything of course, Hikigaya-kun! Or maybe do you prefer _'Hikigaya-koi'_? I mean if Yukino-chan still hasn't laid her claim over you, I know some people who won't wait forever..."

"Like Yui Yuigahama, like Shizuka Hiratsuka, like you maybe, Haruno-_chan_? If this is some sort of contest, you should know that the number of players recently increased a bit since the field trip we had a couple of days ago in Kyoto. Let's just say we were tasked to solve a problem, and your sister didn't appreciate the way I did it, even if the results were positive in the end. And due to her being the type to hold a grudge, since we are now faced with a new problem which involves the successorship of Meguri-san at the head of the student council, your dear sister decided on her own, with the permission of Shizuka-san, to act freely as to who will solve this one, meaning that yes, I am on my own, but it's nothing I can't solve to tell you the truth."

"Hmm, so you and Yukino-chan aren't together anymore? And the way you talk about Shizuka-chan... Is there something between the two of you, by any mean?"

"I had a talk, just like the one I'm having with you right now, a week before the field trip, with Shizuka-san and let's just say that we admitted that 'age is just a number', and that we might be attracted by each other, nothing purely physical of course, it would be shallow to stop there and not search any deeper. Still, she hasn't laid her claim as well just yet, so to phrase it like a businessman would : I am still on the market, and free for taking!"

Now with the way I worded it, the intensified glint in Haruno's eyes, and the way she licked her lips not so discreetly, it would seem I might her full and undivided attention. But this is too quick, and a toy used too much over a short period of time isn't interesting after a while.

"Just know, Haruno-chan, that if you want to sink your teeth into what you want and make it yours, you'll of course have to earn it. I mean, not that I'm playing teacher right there, but you sure know as well as I do that nothing in life is free, not even love unfortunately. So if you want to make me yours, you'll have to earn something I don't give that easily anymore, something quite important for any reasonable human being: my trust!"

Her eyes narrow a bit and the corners of her lips lift upwards.

"And what will be the price for your trust, Hikigaya-koi?" Haruno Yukinoshita licks her lips again, this time in a more calculated manner. She does it sensually, now that I have raise the stakes and placed my bets on the table. And so she looks at her hand, wondering what will come out of my mouth next, before she can place her own on top of it.

"To gain my trust, all I need is something really simple, yet probably quite as difficult to obtain as my trust. I figure you know what I am referring to, am I not?" The game keeps intensifying itself, none of us willing to pull the string that would tie us together tonight.

"Pretty interesting, Hikigaya-koi. To earn your trust, I have to give something of equal value, and that would be... my own trust, wouldn't it?" She smiles as she says it, intently watching me, and grinning as I let out a smile of my own.

"Pretty, smart, and cunning! If you weren't wearing your own mask Haruno-chan, I would've already gladly accepted your invitation to bed, as quick as it may sound. But you and I know too well it wouldn't work in the long run if we decided to precipitate things. That's why we are in the situation of sexual tension where we tease each other and beat around the bush. I have to admit it's quite the task to resist a seductive and beautiful young woman like you, the same way it is to resist Shizuka, or the other girls, but they lack something you have, something that makes you unique. As I said, you have a cunning mind, a very deep and complex calculating mind, which could be perceived as either a quality or a default, depending on both the situaton and the perspective. The only thing I would have to fear from someone with that kind of mind would be betrayal, since I've been heavily exposed to it."

"However, should I gain your undivided faithfulness, care and attention, I would do the exact same thing for you, and thus, keep no more secrets hidden, even the darkest ones. So tell me, **Haruno Yukinoshita, do you want to play a game?**"


	17. Don't Talk To Strangers

**A deal with the Devil will always result in 'something wrong'.**

* * *

"Hmm, you are cunning as well, and sly, _Hikigaya-koi_, but I don't mind that at all with you. In fact, I would even say it makes more attractive." Haruno Yukinoshita teases by approaching her face closer to mine, her eyes locked onto me like a shark to a bleeding prey in the water.

"I most certainly can be, however I am still not as skilled as you or many other smarter people out there. And to tell you another personal bit about myself..." I approach my head as well, brushing a few strands of her luscious hair away, and gently whisper in her ear, brushing the skin with my lips.

"What I like the most and attracts me more than anything else, is a beautiful, gorgeous, smart young woman whom I could trust as much with the truth as she would trust me as well. To me, an honest and faithful, committed to the end, person is without a doubt what turns me on instantly, and pushes all my buttons." I mutter barely above a breath, before recoiling back to my original position, this time narrowing my eyes, my look and voice turning somber, dark, and cold.

"On the other side of the spectrum, someone who would try to play with my feelings would be crushed underneath my foot before being burned into ashes, for if there is one thing I despise more than my numerous defaults, it's liars, deceivers and backstabbers. And only God knows how cruel, merciless, and downright **INHUMAN** I can be to them, because in the end, they only get what they deserve, don't they? What goes around comes around, you can only blame yourself for the mistakes you made, and life taught me in a rather blunt way that no matter how sorry you feel, there are some things you can't get back once you messed up, and you have to live with those regrets eating at you inside until your last day on Earth. So, no mercy for those kind of people! I don't forgive, and I most certainly, **don't forget either!**"

For whatever reason, Haruno keeps smiling at me, and keeps approaching her head towards me, leaving less than an inch between her lips and mine, almost touching each other.

"I knew you were special, from the very first time I saw you. Some people would say it's something akin to 'love at first sight', but the two of us know such a thing doesn't exist. At least, it used to exist before, but now in our day and age. Maybe Hayato-kun didn't told you about it, but some few people say something about me in my back, thinking I am not aware of it. It goes along the lines of 'Haruno will either kill people she likes with too much attention, and thoroughly crushes those she don't like.' and also 'She doesn't mess with people she's not interested in' . I don't know too much about you and how you feel about receiving too much attention, but from what I can see, the two of us don't like wasting their time with uninteresting people, and would crush those we don't like or tries to oppose us. Would that be a correct guess?"

"**Now you are definitely playing with my buttons and pushing them one by one, Haruno-chan. Aaah, if only the night was still young enough for us to talk about ourselves for hours onwards, before heading to bed and having a wonderful night together... Now that would probably makes the two of us truly happy, wouldn't it?**" I grin widely at her, showing and revealing the_ real_ me to one more person, a thing she seems to like, want, need perhaps, due to how glued to me she becomes when she throws herself on top of me, the same sofa we were previously sitting on next to each other, purely talking and revealing slowly our cards, undressing carefully each other, one piece of cloth at a time.

Now instead, I am underneath her, and she is on top, her body pressed against mine so much I can feel and engrave each and everyone of her curves deep into my mind. Not only that, but her breathing becomes more intense and rough, her face as close to mine as it last was.

"I want you, now, as you are, no more games and no more beating around the bush, please. Stay with me for the night, and become mine. That way, I'll become yours, and will never leave your side nor hiding anything from you or betray you!"

_And that is it! Haruno Yukinoshita took the bait, and swallo- ate it whole! Exactly the very last words I needed from you, Haruno-chan! You will make a perfect bride and wife someday, but for now, even if I am disgusted by what I'm doing, it's not like I have another choice if I want to reach the end I have in mind. For what it's worth, I'm sor-_

_'For all it's worth, and I know it isn't much or justify what I said and done, to both of you, Yui, Yukino... I'm sorry. I really am.'_

Just before Haruno could finally plant her lips on mine, and definitely mark me as hers, I instinctively reacted and placed both my palms on her shoulders, stopping her in her tracks.

She was obviously surprised by my reaction, and even further when I gently pushed her back to a sitting position. Wordlessly, I hugged her against myself, before standing up, and walking towards a window, looking at the city underneath and all around us.

"You don't seemed that shocked, almost as if you were expecting it to happen. Since when were you aware that I was lying about my real purpose?" I asked, keeping my eyes straight ahead, hearing her giggling from behind, as if she was amused.

"It would be from the very moment you threatened to walk out on me in the restaurant. Not only Hikigaya Hachiman wouldn't walk out on someone, but the way you looked back in the glass that showed those two girls about to enter the place, one of them would've recognized you, right? And you entirely avoided the topic of my little Yukino-chan. That ticked me off." She says, clearly relaxed and not bothered whatsoever by what had transpired not even a minute ago, listing every thing on her fingertips.

"And yet, despite the fact that I hate liars, and that I lied to you, you don't mind curiously. I would even dare say you feel kinda... Relieved."

"Oh don't be so sure about that!" She exclaimed, jumping on her feet, and approaching me from behind. She stopped, wrapped her arms around my waist, and rested her head on my left shoulder, much to my surprise.

"I don't mind the fact that you lied to me, a lie is a lie only if it is discovered, otherwise it can remain the truth for who knows how long. And besides, it's not like I could stay mad at you, even if I would. You're way too interesting, fun, cute, and... mysterious! I don't care if Yukino-chan hates me. If she can't realize the mistake she's making by pushing you away, I won't let you get away and keep you to myself. After all, it's okay to be selfish sometimes, right?"

"_'Save me someday, please.'_, right ? It's what she told me one day, well, requested I should say. And yet, right now, here I am, with you, her older sister, her idol and her worst enemy at the same time, being held in your arms. What am I supposed to do, hmm? Can I still fulfill that request if she pushes me away? Can you save someone who don't want to be saved and has already given up..."

Haruno tensed after hearing me speak, and I broke free of her embrace carefully, heading to the kitchen and most specifically the sink. I pressed the button and the water started cascading. As I bent over the sink with both hands on each side of it to support myself while Haruno kept watching me with a confused face, I look straight into her eyes with a determined yet somber look on my face.

"Watch really closely, and tell me again if I truly am_ 'cute'._"

With that said, I let the water filling up my right open palm, and splash water on my face over and over again, until my skin feels completly wet, and I run said hand through my hair, slicking them back for a while before shaking my head slightly, letting them take my natural messy and untamed haircut.

Still bending down over the sink, I lift up my head again and look straight at Haruno one more time with the same expression as before.

Of course she is surprised to see the real me, right in front of her, something even she probably wouldn't have believed, and yet, she doesn't recoil or feel different about it. She even smiles at me and the first thing she says, she's her usual self, playfully making fun of me.

"No wonder I thought you were cute. You do put some makeup to hide your true face, because you feel that people will be scared if they saw you like that!" She giggles with her hand gracefully covering her mouth.

"AH AH AH! That was a very good one right there! You have some more of those? I need to write an essay on bad humor, it would clearly help." I answer with a grimace, palming my face with my hand still wet.

"Heh heh, who knew Hikigaya Hachima-"

"I'm **not** Hikigaya Hachiman."

Silence.

"You're not Hikigaya Hachiman?"

"I thought I said it loud and clearly enough the first time around. I am not that person. I am someone else posing as him. The only other person who knows about my_ true_ identity is Shizuka. As long as you keep it a secret, either to yourself or between the two of you, I don't mind, but just don't tell it to anyone else. I will do it myself soon enough, and to be quite frank, I'm not even sure what kind of waves this will create..."

Haruno stands right there, on my left, next to me, trying with her piercing eyes to find any trace of lie and deceit, but she soon realizes I am indeed telling the truth. After that short pause, she comes back behind me, and tries to hug me again, but I slip through her fingers and go back to the sofa, using my Sobu High blazer as a makeshift towel to dry my hair a bit, and roll it into a ball that I use as a pillow I place on the floor, before lying on my back, staring at the ceiling.

She watches me lying there, in the middle of her quite spacious living room, and comes sitting crossed legs next to me.

"My _real_ first name is Damian, however I always preferred Alex, the short version of my second name, European. I was alive, like Hikigaya Hachiman, and like him, I died one day, even though the circumstances weren't the same. He was fifteen when he crashed himself into your family's car to save Yuigahama's dog, sacrificing his life as what should've been a non-lethal accident to protect the animal, making himself the selfless sacrifice one time too many. I, on the other hand, died at age thirty, as a result of a long illness that completly destroyed my immune system, and a few of my organs in the process after something happened in my early twenties, a mistake you could say. A few other diseases came in as time passed, and it wasn't joyful or pretty. For whatever reason, Hikigaya's body was still technically 'alive' medically speaking, but his soul, spirit, whatever you want to call it, had already moved on in the so-called Afterlife. And mine wasn't. One still had his soul while the other still had his body, left down on Earth, so if that jackass exists, God himself intervened and shoved me into the empty body of Hikigaya Hachiman. From that point onwards, I kept 'playing' being him, knowing roughly how he used to act. There was no way for me to tell his younger sister that her older brother she cared about so much had died. Eventually, I'll have to come clean about that fact very soon, because I can't handle it any longer. My natural tendencies and persona are showing more and more through the cracks of my mask, and add on top of that the weight of the secret itself... That would mentally kill anyone, or break your sanity, especially after a whole year."

Haruno stayed silent for a full minute, before asking me a stupid question with a very serious voice.

"You don't expect me to believe this, do you? I mean, not that I don't want to trust you, but do you realize how-"

"How stupid that sounds? Than explain this to me: I am alive, living my last days, physically dying literally, in my small town in one of the most ancient countries in Europe, knowing perfectly who I am, when I was born, barely able to get off my bed because I have next to no strength in my body whatsoever, I close my eyes, and when I open them the next time, I'm in a hospital in Japan, with the staff talking to me in Japanese, calling me 'Hikigaya-san' or 'Hachiman-kun', speaking to me in Japanese, and I am not only able to understand them as if it was my mother tongue, but the first few words that comes out of my mouth are perfect Japanese as well. Now consider the fact that before I died, I couldn't even make a basic sentence in Japanese, and only knew a few words because I liked reading mangas and watching animes. Tell me how any of that can possibly have another rational explanation than the one I know and gave you, Haruno!"

Haruno frowned and bit her lip, trying to think and coming with a logical and rational explanation as I asked her to find, but after a few more minutes of silence, she simply couldn't.

"I tried myself. I spent hours, days, weeks, months even, trying to come up with every plausible scenario, taking into account even the smallest parameter. Hell, I even did some sort of room-sized genealogic tree with every specific scenarios and their outcomes, checked, rechecked and re-rechecked everything three times over, hence the circles and bags around my eyes. I developed a severe case of insomnia for my first six months being alive again, in someone else's body and couldn't figure another reason. I had, to some extend, some ideas and philosophies who were pretty similar to Hachiman's, that's why it wasn't that difficult to put myself into his shoes. However with Shizuka meddling into my affairs because she was 'worried for me', she forced me into your sister's club, and it went downhill from there. Well, it was the beginning in truth, I was already starting to fall back to my original routine and persona. I want to come out with the truth, but I know people won't either believe me, like you, or like it at all, saying I'm a killer, a murderer, or some shit like that. Some may even treat me as a mental case, or cut all ties with me because of that. But the worst part, it's Hikigaya Komachi, his little sister..."

I frown as well, and close my eyes, letting a long sigh and placing my forearm to cover my closed eyes, until I sense something running through my hair.

I see Haruno, sitting on her knees behind my head, looking down at me with a soft smile, one that seems... genuine?

"How about we go to sleep? Can't let you do that by yourself, on the floor, when you clearly need the company of a gorgeous and kind beauty such as myself." She says with a soft and gentle voice, a bit of humor.

I chuckle to myself, and nod to her, my eyelids burning even more than earlier today, my body telling me that I really need to sleep right now, and I can't be picky, especially when I know she won't let me do as I want.

As uncomfortable as it is, Haruno comes out of her shower with nothing but a towel modestly covering her slender and nearly perfect body, droplets of water falling from the wet strands of her hair, but also glistening all over her body. I watch the scene unfold from inside her bed, underneath the bedsheets, having nothing on me except my black t-shirt and my underwear, a matching pair of boxers. She sits on the edge of the bed, and picks up something on the ground. I close my eyes out of reflex and slightly turn my head away, before hearing the sound of something falling on the floor.

I look back towards her, and LO AND BEHOLD, Yukinoshita Haruno stands proudly with her hands on her hips, smirking at me with a wink, wearing nothing but her bra and panties, perfectly matching the color of her hair.

"Purple..." Is all I am able to say, my brain cells having been through too much today, and my grey matter on the verge of melting, an opposite reaction threatening to happen underneath my belly.

"I-Is there something wrong with that color, _Hikigaya-koi?_" She asks me, playfully narrowing her eyes and teasing me.

"No there is nothing wrong, it just so happen to be my favorite color. Now if you please would come inside your bed so we can sleep. I feel deprived of it and would truly like you even more if you allowed me to have a full night of sleep, it that doesn't bother you." I tell her, exasperated both because of the real tiredness I'm feeling in my body, but also because of the embarassment, having to turn my face away, and being thankful to the darkness of the room for not making the blush on my face being as bright as Yui's eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, you're no fun when you're tired, _anata~._" She says as she covers her nearly completly naked body with the bedsheets and the blanket, pressing her body against mine, not making it any easier for me to think about anything but rest.

"Haruno, do you realize what that word impli-"

I couldn't talk any further since she stole the breath of my mouth by placing hers on top of mine.

After half a minute of actually kissing me, Haruno Yukinoshita moved her head back a bit, and gave me a chaste kiss on the lips again, smiling happily.

"I know what the word means and what it implies, you know? So don't worry, I trust you, I believe in you, and I place my faith in you, whatever may happen to us and everyone else in the future. You can count on me the same way I count on you from now on. So now hush, sleep, and sweet dreams, _a-na-ta~._"

Sleep she says... Easy for her to say that! She kissed me! She fucking took me by surprised and kissed me, TWICE! And she says that fucking cheesy stuff I would almost, ALMOST, believe due to how real it sounded, even though it came from her! And she is pressing her body against me, a male in a teenager's body with growing hormones! How the fuck am I supposed to sleep?

_Perhaps I should've stayed in the restaurant and let the events play out naturally with Orimoto... _

_I'm clearly fucked, both in the situation, and in my mind!_  
_  
_


	18. Crazy Little Thing Called Love

_Sleep deprivation is a very bad condition to have and can cause a lot of harm in relative terms on one's health, such as severe yawning, hallucinations, irritability, memory lapses or loss, impaired moral judgement amongst many others in terms of brain damage, down to impaired immune system, aches, tremors, decreased accuracy, risks of heart disease, growth suppression, risks of diabetes Type 2, and more on the rest of your body. _

_Source : Wikipedia, not me._

* * *

Yes, today as I lay on my desk, I fiddle with my phone and am too lazy to give an accurate and personal description of what such a dangerous as missing your beauty sleep can cause to you and your body should you do such a stupid thing.

That, and sleeping in the same bed with a almost completly naked, seductive, astonishingly gorgeous and beautiful hell of a teaser like Haruno Yukinoshita. To think I would shoot myself in the foot like that... Heh, typical me!

But at least I came clear on the fact that now , she too, like Hiratsuka Shizuka, know that **I** am **NOT** Hikigaya Hachiman, the person I had pretended to be for more than a year. I went into that trap by myself, and was forced to stay there the whole entire night, prisoner of her place, her bed, and worse, her cuddling tendencies.

Thankfully, no adult stuff happened between me and the elder Yukinoshita sister, even if both she and my body were quite willing. It was a long battle and struggle between my mind and my body, but eventually, my mind was able to win in the end, at the cost of an entire night of sleep.

Not only that, but when we woke up, she almost persuaded me that we had done the deed. I have to give her credit, because due to my lack of sleep, and my brain not working at full throttle, I nearly believed her, for a few minutes, before she admitted jokingly she was trying to trick me to keep me with her for a '_little longer_'_._

We shared breakfast and talked a bit more about myself and how my previous life was, also learning a thing or two about her. I have to be honest, if I hadn't used the recorder app of my phone, I probably wouldn't have no recollection of this conversation whatsoever, so thank you for that amongst other things, dear phone.

She apologized when she had to leave, and called a cab for me, telling the driver to left me at last evening's restaurant, the Master Donut, where I had left my bike. From there, I had to ride back to school, and act as if it was a normal day and nothing had happened at all. Haruno even let me use a bit of her own makeup to cover my facial features as I do usually, which was oddly kind of her, but now, I have a bit of a better insight in her mind.

Then, came a hurricane visibly frustrated by our parting words yesterday, named Hirastuka Shizuka. She looked bitter for a reason that no one except me, and perhaps my classmate Yui Yuigahama knew about. I have to say, my words were clearly harsh towards her, and I do feel guilty, a thing that doesn't happen very often anymore. For the entire day, I have seemed to be the target she wanted to shoot down on the spot, as if her eyes were a firing squad.

As for now? Well it is lunch break, and if I act accodingly to what my poor exhausted brain is trying to tell me, is to go have a talk with Shizuka, and apologize for what I said to her yesterday after leaving the club.

I get up from my desk very slowly, having a very unstable sense of balance, I wouldn't want to make an even bigger idiot by falling face first on the floor. I lighlty stumble and place my hand against the doorframe on my way out to stabilize myself. I walk into the hallway at a slow pace, and try to process on how I will have to act, naturally that is.

I replay the scene in my head absent-mindedly.

* * *

_"Hikigaya-" _

**_"There is no Hikigaya Hachiman here... I too, am someone who hold grudge, and am rather stubborn and cruel when it comes down to this kind of stuff... now, it becomes personal."_**

_I then left, leaving a downcast Hiratsuka Shizuka, unaware of the harsh glare and the mad grin threatening to split my face in half as I placed the pieces of a potential plan that cames into my mind on how to take my revenge and humiliate Yukino Yukinoshita, by hitting her where it hurts the most: her family, especially her older sister!_

* * *

I close my eyes and frown at the memory, reflecting on my actions now and how stupid and bad my temper can sometimes be, getting the best of me. Perhaps Komachi isn't wrong when she calls me 'Gomi-chan', which means 'Scum-nii-chan'. I really do tend to act like a jerk and a scumbag, I have to admit it as much as I hate being that way.

After all, I ended like that because I mainly adapted to this fucked-up World and the people in it, as a defensive mechanism. Eat or be eaten, kill or be killed! The oldest law Mother Nature taught Humankind, who in turn applied it themselves down to this day, and if you want to survive, you have to be ready to dirty your hands, and change.

I always hated change, too!

Those are some of the things I do have in common with Hikigaya Hachiman, but because we may be similar on certain points and ideologies doesn't mean we're the same. Haruno and Shizuka understood this, but I'm not sure other people will. Some may be as stubborn as I am, and simply will find a way to refute the fact and the truth. That's how dumb people have become.

I took a deep breath, and knock on the door of the teacher's faculty, where I think Shizuka probably is right now. A teacher I can't remember the name of due to how meaningless he is to me in my overall life asks me what I am doing here in lunchbreak, to which I reply I need to talk about something with my homeroom teacher, Hiratsuka-san. He seems a bit surprised, but nevertheless nods to me and points towards the teacher's lounge, where she is smoking a cigarette.

I approach to her, standing on her left side, and fake a cough, attracting her attention without giving me a look.

"... I see the ashtray's almost full already, and it's barely noon. You're trying to kill youself so young?"

"Ha! Funny coming from a jerk like you, the second biggest jerk I've seen in my life since a certain someone from my past! So what if that's what I want to do?" Shizuka answered still looking in front of herself, with barely restrained anger.

Ouch! I most certainly deserved that one. This isn't my first burn but it still stings everytime.

I take the cigarette from her hand, place it to my lips to take a long drag, before crashing it in the ashtray, shocking Shizuka who turns her head to look at me with a dumb look on her face.

"Oh, now you look at me, do you? If only you had done so before, I wouldn't have been forced to do that. And that's my answer for your question, that's what I'll do if you want to kill yourself."

My words seems to hit home as I see her face forming a scowl, but she doesn't seem to direct her anger at me. This maybe is the most weirdly romantic thing someone had told her in her life.

I sit facing her, and let my bag down, locking my eyes in hers.

"Go on, ask me where I've been last night. I'm probably sure she told you anyway. That way you will have both versions of the story." I tell her with a serious face, which disarms her as she takes a confused look.

"What do you mean by that? And how does your personal life is any of my concerns anyway?" She answers my question with her own, and I shake my head with a small sad smile.

"The ashtray is nearly full and it's lunch break. Not only that, but considering your reaction, it simply can't be my words from yesterday. No, it's the feeling of betrayal from someone you deeply care about, someone you feel close too. I've been there before you Shizuka, I know how it feels and what it can make you do or say. I imagine this is your reaction from the picture she took and sent you, probably. Never thought of her as a 'bragging type'..." I say, entwining my fingers with my open palms facing upwards in front of me, leaning forward a bit and taking a slouched posture.

Shizuka chuckles and picks her phone from her pocket, opening it and placing it in front of me, showing a picture Haruno had taken with her phone in my sleep. The picture is the two of us laying in her bed, her body pressed as much as humanly possible, kissing the corner of my lips with a broad happy smile on her face, our bodies covered by the bedsheets, but exposing enough of her naked skin.

I chuckle as well at seeing the picture, and close the phone, sliding it backwards on the small table, in front of Shizuka, and leaning back in my seat.

"And what of the message she sent you as well? You do know that a story has two sides right?"

"She said that you met at a restaurant in town, left it with her in a taxi, went to her place, and spent the night together." Shizuka replied with a bland tone in her voice, mindlessly picking her phone and placing back in her pocket, mimicking my action by leaning back into her seat as well.

I let out a sigh, and I see her crossing her arms over her chest, staring at me intently. I can't help but smile while looking at her. It's just how these things are, I guess.

"While it is a good condensed version of the facts, it's both true, and wrong. True because it's what happened for a short version, but also wrong because it's incomplete. Let me shed some light onto this, and I promise you on my very own soul that what I'll say is the truth. I wouldn't lie, especially to you..."

I saw a rosy faint blush painting her cheeks after the last phrase, getting her a bit embarassed, but that's the way I like Shizuka Hiratsuka.

I spend the next twenty minutes giving her every detail of why I acted that way, what happened with Haruno at her place, what I told the eldest Yukinoshita sister, and even what she tried to, and nearly succeeded at doing, reassuring Shizuka at the end, although I saw a small vein pop up on her forehead.

"Well it seems I will need to have a small talk with my former student and give her one last lesson I may have omitted to teach her. I can't say I approve of what you did, but I'm thankful you are still the same." She said through gritted teeth in the beginning, her left fist shaking furiously, but calmed herself, and smiled softly at the end, giving me a very warm smile.

"By 'still the same', I assume you mean 'virgin'. Yeah, that part of me hasn't changed yet, unless Haruno used me in my sleep to satisfy her needs, in which case the only thing I can be held accountable for would be 'being unconscious'." I reply while crossing my arms over my chest as well, rolling my eyes and looking to the side in mocked annoyance.

"I have already chosen who I want to share my first time with, and you'll probably be quite happy to know she smokes a bit too much of her 'beloved' Seven stars cigarettes to my taste, especially today. Although, I have to say, those cigarettes have something in it that makes them more bearable when they're shared..." I turn my face to look at the ashtray, and let her know my choice, even though it's not my final word just yet.

Her reaction is almost comical, and I really have to pinch my thigh hard not to laugh at how Hiratsuka Shizuka is reacting when she puts the pieces together in her mind, which doesn't take very long.

Her face burns a deep shade of red, almost crimson, her purple eyes wide open, threatening to pop out of her skull, her mouth forming a 'o', in complete and utter shock, spluttering an uncomprehensible gibberish.

She lowers her head and hide underneath her long hair, her body trembling slightly. Yeah, if I am at least sure of something, despite my lack of sleep, despite all my defauts and my fucked-up personality, it's that I want to have Hiratsuka in my life. Hikigaya Shizuka doesn't sound half-bad...

"Oh, one last thing, Shizuka-chan. You asked me earlier why I should be concerned about your personal life." I slowly mutter as I place my hand in a gentle manner on her right shoulder after standing up.

"It concerns me because you are a part of my life. A part I'm glad to have, and would love to keep by my side, no matter what the future has in store for me, for _**us**_..."

I don't even turn myself as I exit the teacher's lounge, but I can guess her reaction, a wide beautiful smile on her crimson blushing face with tears threatening to fall from her eyes like a waterfall, shivering in both confusion, surprise, but most of all, happiness...


	19. Behind Blue Eyes

I am late, but that's alright.

I know I am late for class, as I'm sitting on my usual spot, far away from anyone who could potentially cause a disturbance and making me upset. I'm still eating my lunch and even though I know I'm not really that late, like, five minutes late maybe, and because it's a class I don't like, why bother?

I finish my bento, put the empty box into my bag, and pull out a plastic bag filled with little chocolate eggs. My addiction to sugar seems to be back. The taste of the chocolate sickens me while I start to chew on my first one, reminiscing me that I never knew why people liked that taste so much. To me, the only edible chocolate my palate was able to like and withstand was white chocolate, and nothing else.

Yet, people crave on that 'tasty' brown 'sweetness'. Go figure! If you ask me, or asked me in my past life as well, five edible things I hate/hated that ninety percent of the human population like and would consume every day, sometimes too much, I would go for: Pizza, Fries, Beer, Chocolate, and Cheese.

Now now I know, if anyone heard me say that out loud, they would crazy and call me abnormal, just because I have different tastes, because I am different from their beloved 'social norms'. How funny I was once the near embodiement of the word 'normie', whilst actually being against the norms themselves!

It shows you how hypocritical the World, and Humans truly are.

_'Their morals, their code, it's a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the World allows them to be.'_

Oh how good of a quote, how magnificiently written that script was, and how wonderfully it matches reality whilst being a piece of fiction. I always have amazed by that, loving it!

And now I'm in what used to be 'a piece of fiction', back in** MY** reality. How the tables have turned, huh?

I kept thinking in my mind at the rest of this scene, and the movie itself which were analyzed in such deep ways even ten years after the release of said movie in theaters, which made so many channels and theories go wild on the internet, that I nearly didn't heard the sound of footsteps coming my way, at a normal walking pace.

Now that is weird, and surprises me considering the fact that if it was one of my classmates, and they are only a few of them who would actually search for me, showing they care at least a little, they would be running towards me, or staying in the corridor and yelling from afar, to follow them in order to join back to class.

Which indicates me that this must be someone who knows me, but isn't a classmate, rather a teacher. Or possibly a stranger, who lost their way.

If it is a teacher, that narrows down the possibilities greatly, down to a single person I talked to, apologized to, and also confessed to in the teacher's lounge during the lunch break itself.

If it is a stranger, that would either be an upperclassmen, or an underclassmen, on their way to the backyard for P.E. If not, then the probability of a wandering soul with too much time on their hands to waste is worth keeping on the list.

I can't help but widening my eyes when I see the most tolerable of my two clubmates, Yui Yuigahama, walking slowly with a small smile on her face looking down.

"Yui... How's it goin'?" I ask the girl while turning a bit my head away, letting her know that even though I acknowledged her presence and gave her a casual form of greeting, I'm still dissatisfied about what happened in the clubroom yesterday.

Well, I say that, or rather I THINK that way, but it's only a part of the truth. She confessed to me yesterday in the stairway, before the Club 'broke', and despite expressing her feelings for me, she didn't do or say anything to stop me from walking away.

But do I truly have the right to think badly of her? I'm a hypocrite too, I lie to myself and to people in order to keep things in a stalemate, a stagnant state where the World stops turning and everything ceases to change, fully knowing how dangerous it is.

"Hey, Hikki..." She starts slowly, not answering my question, and pausing, to sit next to me, looking forward as I do, our eyes never meeting each other.  
This very situation is the perfect picture for the old adage 'So close, yet so far'!

"You should be in class, as should I, which means if you're not, and due to the fact that you have your bag with you, you're skipping, like me. As for my question, I have a habit to dodge bullets in conversations, but I didn't expected to be on the shooting side. So on my end, it feels weird. You?" I ask the girl, who wordlessly nod at my deduction, and fiddles with the bun of hair on the right side of her head.

"I thought back to what happened yesterday, and what didn't happened too..." Yui answers shyly, pausing for another moment, her left hand clutching her white shirt over where her heart should be. This is bad, either she is going to do one of those dramatic scenes where she feels guilty, tries to explain herself and fails, falling in tears, or she is going to have a heart-attack.

I wouldn't mind giving her CPR though, but I'm not sure she would like to share her first kiss with me that way... It'd be odd!

"What happened to you, was simple. You confessed your love for me, you felt angry, worried, mad at me, for legitimate reasons, and then you saw me leaving the Club. That's it."

My mouth is as smooth as always as I can see her face controting itself into a grimace. Truth hurts.

"What happened to me was more complex, and I didn't know why I did those things. I felt mad, pissed at Yukino, I wanted to teach her a very harsh lesson, to break her mentally for all the things she said she knew I had heard, I met with her sister in a restaurant by dumb luck, I slept with her, and earlier on during lunch break? I apologized and confessed to our homeroom teacher, feelings that are reciprocated... And I told the two of them an ugly truth about me." I admit with a plain voice, sensing her tense at the mention of Haruno and the rest of my sentence.

I can see her from the corner of my eyes beginning to tear up, and clenching her shirt more tightly. She tries to refrain from sobbing, but I can already hear the croaking of her voice, as the air comes out from her parted lips. I shake my head, stand up in front of her, and call her by her name, getting her attention.

"You told me yesterday how you felt about me. Let me tell a day later how I feel about you, and about myself." I speak with a low voice, a serious expression, as I crouch down to look straight at her and her glimmering red eyes.

"I feel stupid, I am a jerk, an idiot, a dumbass, and a loner. I fear being involved with anyone due to having been through a 'World' of pain before, not wanting that fall in the same trap again. So by distancing myself from everyone around me, as sad and alone as I am, I convince myself that I'm doing what's best for everyone, me included. I try to fool my own mind into believing my little trick is all I need in life, and yet... It just doesn't work. It makes the pain worse and I have more and more trouble handling it. Yesterday's reaction is a prime example."

I gently grab her left hand, the one she was gripping her shirt with, and hold it in my right one, my left still being bandaged and hurt.

"When I say _'I slept with Haruno Yukinoshita'_, It's exactly what it means. She invited me to her place, we talked, I couldn't go back home because we went there in a taxi, leaving my bike at the restaurant I met her, and I stayed the night. We shared her bed and nothing happened. As for earlier on and my confession to Hiratsuka Shizuka, I told how I felt, she told how she feels even though it's a bit unusual considering our situation as student and teacher, but it doesn't make it official. We exchanged words, feelings, yet without action, at least in this case, it doesn't mean a lot. So if you fear that I will leave you off, you're wrong. And I will share my truth with you too. Not only you, but a few other people as well, in tomorrow's Club meeting. I discussed this issue, it was accepted."

She nods to me and wipes her few tears away with her right hand, staring a me with the same small sad smile on her face. She wants to speak and part her lips, only for me to shush her up with my left index finger.

"You don't have anything to say because there is nothing to say. You said what you had to say yesterday, and today was my turn, simple as that. I am ashamed, I am mad at myself, and the reason I do those stupid things is because I'm scared to go back to the way things were. I try to hide it behind the cold, stoic, emotionless and indifferent look and attitude, but deep down Yui, I'm hurt, way past the point of no return. I gave up on everything, except perhaps two-three things, but it's barely keeping me hanging. When I say I've been through a 'World'of pain, it's not just a metaphor, you could say it's real. I'm broken inside and I'm not sure if I want to be fixed, even if there's a hope..."

My voice reaches the level of a whisper, my throat becoming dry, and my eyes narrowing into slits, as I frown at seeing this cute girl being on the verge of breaking down. I'm not even sure how she's hanging with all the shit she's been through not only the past twenty-four hours, but perhaps even since Kyoto.

I uncharacteristically lean forward and hug her against me, as she rushed in the embrace and holding me as if I was about run away. Little did she knows I wouldn't!

I don't exactly know why I do this, but with her head being so close to mine, I readjust myself slightly and gently kiss her forehead, before resting my chin on top of her silky smooth hair. I can feel my nose being invaded by the scent of her shampoo, a smell of strawberry.

She can't see me smirking while letting out a chuckle, and neither can I see the growing blush on her face, but I can hear her muffled sobbing of relief and slight happiness.

_If the cute and nice girl is a lie, then I prefer taking the truth... Except if that nice girl is Yui Yuigahama, a truth under the guise of a lie._

* * *

We finally broke our hug and went back to class where we were scolded a bit, but it was okay to lie to the teacher and say Yui went out looking for me, which was the truth anyway.

The day continued on and resumed itself, with Yui pestering me to come to today's club meeting, even if I wasn't sure I would be very kindly received by the cold-hearted bi...eauty that is the Service Club's President, Yukino Yukinoshita.

For a reason that completly escapes me as I walked mindlessly with Yui next to me, I couldn't help but compare Yukino Yukinoshita with a certain loner from another manga, believing to be perfect, coming from a famous family, acting all high and mighty, more on the 'ass' side of the word 'smartass'...

Oh, so this Universe's Sasuke Uchiha is in fact Yukino Yukinoshita! I see the resemblance now!

I soon find my body frozen not by the conceived glare of that girl when I enter the clubroom, but by the chilling temperature because of an open window, and the wind blowing today telling us that Winter is coming...

I just had an odd thought there, but that's just my mind.

Yukino starts explaining what she mostly did by herself, coming up with a pledge and a speech for a candidate to oppose to Isshiki Iroha. She seems displeased when I stiffle a yawn in the middle of her sentence, her brows furrowing immediately.

"I wish I could have fur, like a cat, and being protected against the harsh weather, among other things..."

Of course, said younger sibling of the Yukinoshita family being borderline obsessed with felines, I can see in a fraction of a second her angry and displeased expression melt into an interested and curious look.

"Oh! And may I know why a cat in perticular, especially with all the different species of animals with fur? Don't you think you would be shaming the entire feline race by being a part of it?" I can sense her venom dripping from the tone. Not actually sure which is the coldest, the wind or her voice.

"That would be idiotic to blame an entire race for the stupid actions of one individual, so humanlike that it wouldn't be very surprising whatsoever. How retrograde of an argument as this one, I'm shocked! And should you be a bit more interested in me, you would know that I love cats, as they are my favorite animals. I mean I own one after all, don't I ?"

That, was the comeback she wasn't expecting! The great Ice Queen of Sobu, mistress and expert in the art of comebacks, felt one of my very own coming back her way, and had shock written all over her face. Although the expression wasn't as funny as Shizuka when I confessed to her, it still felt good to see the unconfident yet pretentiously acting Yukino Yukinoshita, President of the Service Club with a face of utter disbelief as to what had happened. I hit home with liitle facts and truth, and it left quite the impact.

I pull her back from her trance by telling my honest opinion about the speech and the pledge not being a good idea, and of course I was prepared for the moment she would retort about how I_ 'avoided the problem'_ in Kyoto.

I get up from my chair, and drag it on the wooden floor, placing it in front of the closed door of the clubroom, and sat back on it, leaning back on the two hind feet with a forced smile.

"Oh? So now _**I**_ avoided the problem? And since when deception is a problem to you? You spent your time deceiving me by keeping the truth away from me about the car accident a year ago, didn't you? Yes, I saw _your_ car before, and instantly recognized it as the one _**I**_ ran into to save Sablé, Yui's dog, although she had the guts to confess she was in some way involved into my accident, which is more than I can say for _you_. And I fulfilled Ebina's request, as well as Hayama's despite the fact I **dislike** the guy. Their little group is back to normal and faring even better than usual. Yumiko even stopped fawning over Hayama and seemed to have been brought back down to Earth. _You_ approved of my idea beforehand, perfectly knowing how 'terribly' effective my methods are, AKA Sagami's incident... And now _**I**_'m a hypocrite, a coward and a deceiver? How about _you_ then, Yukino? "

I express myself through many motions, many tones in my voice, and different expressions on my face, but internally, disbelief won by a long shot. Disbelieved that this girl, for the second day in a row, would be blaming me because I fulfilled a request with a method SHE authorized, and gave me the green light. The nerve, the galls of this girl nearly twice younger than I am...

She tried, and '_TRIED_' is the right word, to justify her reasoning with pitiful excuses and preposterous thinking such as 'not wanting the bring out a past better left untold'. If only she knew not only my own past, but what said past actually costed to the Hikigaya family, a price the entire 'fortune' of her family wouldn't be able to pay, not even her own grand-grandchildrens, admitting she finds a husband someday who would be suicidal enough to get her pregnant, and stay afterwards, giving her near-unbearable personality, at least to me.

Too bad she has some redeeming qualities, such as being physically attractive, smart, a very good student, loving felines like cats, interested in helping others, well-mannered... But does one good action compensate for a life of lies?

Even with my own personal philosophy I developped along the years of 'Never forget, never forgive', it still seems pretty tempting to give her the benefit of the doubt and giving her a second chance nonetheless. She is a loner and doesn't truly know what friendship is, and maybe even struggling with her inner feelings, I do get is it a reason for her to lash out at me? Haven't I been through enough? Even with my 'act' as Hikigaya Hachiman, she saw how people inside and outside school act towards me, and she barely seems to care.

So much for someone responsible and President of a Service Club, which goal is to help people in my case, or hers. Pure hypocrisy!

Right at the moment I was about to open my mouth again, I felt a disturbance from behind me, and without a preventive knock, the clubroom's door was slid open by someone I had seen before and... So this is what's was missing today, Iroha Isshiki!

But of course with the back of my chair leaning against the door while it was closed, I barely had a second to realize that by leaning backwards, not expecting someone to come in, gravity pulled me back towards the floor, and I ended up falling along with my chair, blocking the entrance of the clubroom. Thankfully I didn't hit my head, but that doesn't mean the fall was entirely painless.

"FUCK!"

The yelling was heard throughout the hallway, the corridors as well, and of course, the three girls, one about to enter the Service Club room, with eyes as equally wide open as my two other 'clubmates' because of my loud cursing outburst. Even though I'm merely two feet away from the seat of my chair, I can see the red, clear blue, and brown-honey pairs of irises staring at me in shock, probably from what had happened both physically and audibly.

Isshiki reacts first, soon followed by Yui, while Yukino on her side decided to take a different approach by silently knitting her brows again, her mind probably going back throught the mouthful I gave her earlier.

"Senpai! Are you okay?"

"Hikki! Are you hurt? is everything alright?"

I get up, pick up the chair blocking the entrance, and gallantly let Isshiki entering first, closing the door by sliding it shut behind me, placing my chair on the usual spot and sitting back on it.

"Yeah, I'm okay, didn't hurt my head, and everything is alright except for the slight pain in my back, but i've had worse, so..." I reassure the two girls by doing a few stretches and popping my knuckles joints, wrists and neck, which I then rub with my right hand.

"Excuse me but I have to use the bathroom, and I will be picking some water at the vending machine. Aside from me being gone for a few minutes, does anybody wants something?" I ask, legitimately going to those places, and this unexpected level of slight care and curtesy apparently surprised the three girls one more time.

"N-No, i-it's fine Hikki. Thanks for asking anyway!" Yui cheered up brightly.

"I wouldn't mind an orange juice please, Senpai!" Isshiki voiced her timid demand, not wanting to bother too much.

As for Yukino...

"While it is very uncommon to hear you being so vocal or sounding concerned about other people than yourself, I do have to say your presence being gone from this place for a few moments and your sudden proposal are really welcomed. We will brief Isshiki-san about what we came up to while you are away, so feel free to take your time." Yukino's sharp voice slice through the semblance of casually warm and friendly mood.

Isshiki immediately feels uncomfortable and Yui looks at Yukino with a sad expression on her face. Those two are friends, but being friends with someone doesn't mean you can't have different opinions. This is exactly what Yukino told Yumiko when she was the 'dictator' of the '_friendship_' with Yui in the beginning. How odd does this feels now...

"Don't worry too much about her, Isshiki, she's always like that, she just have difficulties showing an actual human and softer side. It will grow out someday, eventually..." I tell Isshiki when standing up from my chair, and stand next to her, nodding my head towards Yukino so she won't make a mistake and think I'm talking about Yui.

"Anyways, I don't plan on taking THAT long, and you know, Yukino...shita, you and I should both work on something that we have in common, because it's a really nasty default. It's called 'letting go of the grudges you hold'. Just like you, I know what it is, what it feels to hold a grudge against someone or something, but sometimes, you just mislead yourself... Think about it, and I'll do too. I couldn't it the past, and that's why I couldn't 'save myself' from becoming who I am today..."

Leaving my bag, and what I would assume to be an upset or abashed Yukino in the clubroom, unknowing since I didn't turn my head to looking back at her when I left, I indeed went to the male's restroom, and to a vending machine nearby, buying both a bottle of water for myself, and some orange juice for Ishhiki.

I crouch in front of the machine and place my right hand to pick up the orange juice inside, before I hear the sound of footsteps coming my way. I hope this is just some nameless student passing by because otherwise, twice in a day, I will start considering that harassment at some point.

"Hikitani-kun ..."

Ah shit, I could recognize the tone and voice anywhere...

I stood back up, not turning my head, with a drink in each hand, and I lift the water bottle in front of me, lookin at the description on the label.

"What are you doing, Hikitani-kun?" Hayato Hayama, the '_Prince of Sobu_', standing a few feets away from me, his eternal fake smile on his face.

"Reading if the water in this bottle contains cyanide, and if so, I'm gonna drink it right away so I won't have to talk or agree with whatever shit you're trying to pull me into, again..." I turn my head to stare at him with a dumb look on my face.

_Even if, honestly speaking, I would rather go through Death a second time rather than helping him or going along with any stupid idea or plan running through his mind._


	20. Empty Rooms

"So, what d'ya want? I am a bit of a busy guy at the moment, one request here, another there... But you wouldn't know what it is to have to work to solve them, since you hire help, right?"

Hayato Hayama, obviously once again in a position of needing another favor from me, flinching at reminiscing how useless he truly is behind his fake smiles and nice guy attitude.

"Haruno Yukinoshita texted me this morning, saying that a girl from another high school whom you knew wanted to see me with a friend of hers. Do you have any idea who that is, and perhaps help me with this?"

Am I dreaming or '_The Great Hayama Hayato_' is extending his hand, expecting a fake smile like his, to shake his filthy hand full of who-knows-what, and nod my help in approval? Heh, of course he wouldn't expect something from me to do actually, that would be so 'way out of character'... So much that it is tempting...  
I take a thinking pose while crossing my arms over my chest, leaning back against the side of the vending machine, looking at the concrete ceiling over us, both drinks in each hand.

"Hmm, I met Yukinoshita-san last evening at a restaurant, and she 'helped' me getting away from a former middle high schoolmate I didn't wanted to meet again, accompanied by a friend of hers. That might be those two, and I'm sure the girl in question, Kaori Orimoto, spilled the beans and told some old stories about me, and how I knew you somehow. Needless to say that since a loser like me knows the '_Mighty Hayama Hayato_', she would use me as a way to get her chance to get closer to you, like your '_adorable_' followers already do here."

"Killing two birds with one stone huh? Obviously it would be Haruno-san's way of doing things. You seem to have a way to get yourself into problems, Hikitani-kun." Hayama breathed out while looking at the ground, contemplating something... Suicide perhaps?

He lifted his head right back up with a very serious expression I already saw before. The last time I saw it, it was in Kyoto, and it brought me in the situation I'm in right now, where everything is hanging by a thread.

"Hikitani-kun, be very careful about Haruno-san. You can read people, seeing through them, but if someone can outsmart you, it's her. For some reason, the two of you seem to be on good terms together. What she-"

"Oh please spare me the 'quotes' or warnings about her. We spoke last evening, in the restaurant, me and her for a bit, long enough to lower our respective masks and show each other our _true_ faces. If you were about to tell me_ 'What she likes, she kills it with affection, and what she dislikes, she crushes it.'_, you can keep your nice and friendly speech. In the short time we shared discussing at a table, I was able to read and understand more than you probably did by being '_acquainted_' to her due to your families being on good terms." I cut him before he can utters the words Haruno told me herself, that she knew people were saying in her back.

This apparently took him by surprise and he recoiled a bit with this dumb moronic expression on his face. It took him a few seconds to regain a semblance of composure, and the first thing he did was... chuckling?

"I see... Than it means you are really interesting to her. She dislikes boring things and is always on the look out to be diverted or interested, no matter what happens to others and her environment around her. Like this is one big game for her..." He says, lowering his face towards the groung again, a sad and pitiful smile on his face.

I, on the other hand, have trouble now squashing the bottle of water in my right hand, sick and pissed at hearing this jackass Mr Know-It-All blabbering and bullshitting about people he knows next to nothing of. Well that, and the fact that despite last night, I really learned to appreciate Haruno as a person. She sorta 'opened' my eyes you could say...

A small restrained grunt escaped my throat, catching his attention and mine at the same time, looking at his face raising itself once more.

"You were admiring the floor, my shoes, or my pants a bit too much for my taste. Not only that, but you were stealing my bad habit of dazing out when someone talks to you."

This has to be one of the worst lies I could come up with, on the spot, but if he believes it, it probably means it works. Which would mean he's actually that stupid, which is stupid in itself to think since he's a good student and pretty smart, as much as I hate to admit.

"Huh, it's nothing... So, will you help me please? About this 'arranged double date'? I thought Saturday would be a good day, since it leaves the both of us enough time in our agendas to prepare. " He asked, bowing deeply, to show some sort of humility, but in fact it's more of a dependance towards me. He isn't respectful, he just NEEDS me.

"Fine, I'll go, but you owe me. And not the kind of 'You owe me some thanks' Service Club, kind of thing. No, I'm talking the '**You owe me a really big debt, and when the time comes for you to honor that debt, you'll do it**'. If by bowing that hard you're showing your commitment for requesting my presence, then you have to be ready to sacrifice something. That's the main rule of this World, you get nothing for free. Do you accept the condition?"

He raises himself, and shakes my right hand I had freed from the bottle of water, placing it under my left arm. He looks fiercely into my eyes, and gives me what I want to hear from him.

"I owe you a great deal, Hikitani-kun. Thank you very much for your help. I'll return the favor in any way I can if you need it someday." He says, before walking away. I stare at his retreating form for a few seconds, before cleaning my right hand against the vending machine.

_You already owe me a lot, moron! But I don't mind for now, I'll just let your debts piling up, and when I'll need it, you will repay them... With your blood or your life, if necessary..._

You never know where people place their hands or what they touch, especially hypocrites.

* * *

I slid open the door of the clubroom where sure enough, Isshiki Iroha, Yukino Yukinoshita and Yui Yuigahama are still present, sitting around the table, discussing amongst themselves.

I cough slightly while closing back the door by slowly pushing it with my left foot, placing the orange juice next to Isshiki who thanks me for the attention, and I see a small smile from both her and Yui. Yukino, being focused in her explanation as always, doesn't mind the fact that I'm back.

"Ara, it seems I'm not feeling well all of a sudden. It might be the Hikigerms being back."

_Funny I didn't saw that one coming! But at least pretend you're sick RIGHT when I enter, as if I was a real virulent disease, not a poor cold you catch after being exposed to it for a whole hour._

"The cause would probably be the opened window with the cold air coming from outside. Or perhaps because I touched Hayama's hand. I knew I should've stayed away from him..." I say while sitting and removing the cap from the bottle, taking a sip of the water.

"You met Hayama-senpai? That is so cool Hikigaya-senpa-"

"Call me that again and I'll kill you. I thought I told you yesterday when we met, despite the circumstances, I don't like the formal stuff, and that includes the whole 'senpai-sensei-kouhai' thing. So do the both of us a favor and follow Yuigahama's example, right Yui?" I say with a slightly exasperated voice, looking at Yui at the end who has a faint blush appearing on her cheeks.

"Yeah, Hikki! You can do it too, Iroha-chan."

I facepalmed myself. Hard. Against the table.

"Is senpai alright, Yui-san-senpai?"

The two girls stare at each other, Yukino pretending to not being aware of what's happening around her. I search in my bag next to my chair for a pen and sheet of paper on which I write something. I then pick up the sheet, and place it in front of me, turned towards them.

"The first Kanjis are my name, Hikigaya. The second Kanjis are for the nickname you gave me Yui, Hikki. Underneath it you can see in non-Kanji letters that I wrote the same nickname, ' I', and next to it, what did I wrote?" I explain and ask my question to Yui, who looks at the text on the sheet of paper, then at me, back and forth.

"You wrote 'I C K Y', Hikki. But why?" She asks, but as soon as the words leave her mouth, she comes to a realization, and a horrified and apologetic look appears on both hers and Isshiki's face. I could've swore I also heard something akin to a muffled chuckle from Yukino, but without proof...

"Exactly. Since you gave me that nickname, and I thankfully didn't kept counting, you made it sound everytime as if you were calling me 'Gross' or 'Repulsive' in English, which is similar to something I have heard for a really long time, without perticular reason except for some facial features, mostly speaking my 'dead eyes'..."

I wanted to add something else, but it would've relit the fire that was right now buried under cold cinders and ashes inside Yukino Yukinoshita. And it isn't a thing I want to do that close to the R-day. The Revelation Day.

Yui, being the nice and kind girl she is, apologized profusely for ten minutes straight, while I was picking my ears, faking not hearing her. She eventually stopped and we resumed the meeting the same way it started... Without a solution for the problem.

"So, what are you going to do, _Miss President_? I figure I lost the right to call you by your first name because of how much of a pathological liar, deceiver, and untrustworthy person I am, right?" I ask Yukino, with the usual bit of sarcasm and cynism in my tone, earning a sigh from said girl, who stare back at me.

"You are all of that, and effectively yes, lost the right to call me by my name, even though I never gave you the said right to do so since it was you who came up with this. Therefor-"

"Therefore I can call you Yukino since I never lost a right I never had to begin with. Well that settles it then. But back to the actual question, what are you gonna do about Isshiki's problem, Yukino?" I tease her by acting cool and relaxed, and to some point, messing with her that way is better, rather than threatening to destroy everything and crush someone to the ground. At least remaining calm will help me with my temper issues, I hope...

She sighs again at being interrupted, but also due to the lack of current answer for the problem Isshiki is facing.

"If we are considering the idea of placing Isshiki-san against someone..." She starts her explanation, waiting for me to pick up after a very short pause.

"Then the candidate would be nothing but a setup, not an actual candidate, with the possibility of him/her being too irresponsible to handle the job, prime example being Sagami at the Cultural festival. We wouldn't want a repeat of what almost turned into a fiasco, do we?" I cross my arms over my chest, standing up in front of my seat.

"Hikki?" Yui asks, worried as to why I suddently stood up and her eyes trail me as I go walking and stopping in front of the front wall of the classroom, the door to my right, Yukino and the windows to my left.

I turn around, and slide down the wall, sitting on the wooden floor with my left forearm resting on my knee, my right hand hiding my mouth deep in thought.

"Huuwaaaah Hikki! What's that?" Yui exclaims herself loudly, causing Yukino to look at me as well, both being confused by what I'm doing.

"It's a ring Yui, I don't wear it in public but it has a pretty big signification for me. And I had it before today. I often rub it with my other fingers when I'm deep in thought, it helps me concentrate somehow. Now please can you stop trying to pierce my eardrums, and would you Yukino, please stop staring so much? I thought you would know it's impolite, especially for that long, and that intensely." I answer her question and satisfy her curiosity, hearing a small mumble coming from Yukino without even lifting my head.I keep looking at the floor, as if the wood itself would give me a solution.

_Do I go the '_Hachiman way_', or do I follow my instincts? Right now, I'm having trouble taking decisions, and if I do present myself as Isshiki's opponent, there is a small risk I end up being elected. It would be good for Isshiki if she wants to lose, but my win would make me the President of the student council of the school, as hated as I am. The guys in the council already know me, due to the help with the festival, and don't dislike me that much, so it would be pretty safe to say I would get their votes. Then, it wouldn't end up as a vote of confidence for Isshiki._

_The bad thing though is, outside of them, there's not that many people who would vote for me, hence possibly securing the post for her instead. I can lie through my teeth and make a credible speech, akin to what a politician would say, giving false hope and empty promises left and right. I would be considered one of the worst and most hated Presidents of this school, but that way Isshiki would be safe. But if I pick the '_Hachiman method_', she will be elected, and abuse her authority and 'charms' to make me feel guilty about it, forcing me to do her bidding as a way to make it up to her, and relieving her of the heavy duties..._

"Hmm Hikki, you know that you're speaking out loud, do you?"

"...Hmm?"

I lift up my head and look at the two bewildered girls who stare back at me. So now I develop the Hachiman Syndrom huh? A day full of surprises to be sure, but not welcomed ones.

"I was struggling with my thoughts. Since I assume you pretty much heard everything I said, what's your opinion about that? It's not like we have many options right now, and time keeps ticking. The election aren't that far away, and we're working with the edge of a knife under our throats." I ask the girls, whose shock grow from large to larger.

"Oh please don't make those faces, you saw me without the make-up on my face, well except Isshiki, you know I'm hiding something I'm going to tell you about soon, but right now, an idea to solve THIS problem is more important than me, or a ring on my finger, or the brand of the water I drink. Come on, we are the Service Club and we can't even help ourselves? Then how do you expect us to help people? If that's it, than sorry to break it to you, but the club is as good as dead."

I can almost hear the shattering of some glass coming from inside Yukino's and Yui's heads as I finish my statement, a serious scowling look on my face as I lock my eyes with theirs, and I see them turning slowly and embarassingly away to look at the wood of the table.

I rub back and forth my right thumb and nail against my lower lip, my eyes narrowing as I try to come up with something, anything that could truly help us.

"Oh, and Yukino, don't even think for a second of presenting yourself as candidate. You started this club, it's yours, you saw how you could barely handle the charge and stress of being second in command at the festival and how it affected your health. Not only that, but if you try to copy my attitude of making myself a 'selfless sacrifice' of some sort, something you said you hate, than you're no better than me. And that would force Yui to enter the competition as well due to you being her friend, and because this club is as important as it is for you and for her." I say while pointing my left index finger at her, still without looking.

"And how do you kn-"

"**Because I know, Yukino, that's why!**" I interrupt her brutally, revealing once again my real voice, piercing her soul with a simple cold and repressed glare. For once in her lifetime, the Ice Queen finds herself frozen, but not just in shock.

_Fear._

I can see actual fear in Yukino Yukinoshita right now. Fear of the unknown. What we don't know scares us, and we stay away from it because we ignore what kind of danger it represents. And now, Yukino Yukinoshita isn't facing a danger, or a dangerous person. She is facing a dangerous unknown.

"**That voice, that look, those expressions and attitudes, they aren't those of the Hikigaya Hachiman you have heard or witnessed before. Actually, what do you truly know about Hikigaya Hachiman? Birthdate? Favorite food? Hobbies? Yes, I'm hiding myself, I'm hiding something, from someone, from many people. But I've decided to come clean about it, to a few selected ones I TRUST, and the two of you are part of it. So no matter how weird, awkward, stupid my decisions or acts may look or be, I can't trust you if you don't trust me. And when I say I know something, it's not just a hunch, a gut feeling. So, can I trust you?**"

I can see almost instantly Yui Yuigahama noddind fiercely her head with a confident smile on her face, and I have to say, it's reassuring... and oddly pleasing to see. For Yukino Yukinoshita, she keeps looking at me, from head to toe, and seem to think deeply about the idea, the concept of trust.  
Not wanting to wait an eternity, I decide to make the literal first step, and stand up, walking towards my chair, picking it along with my bag, and sitting right in front of Yui, next to isshiki, in the place a normal person would be when presenting a request.

"**Yukino, look at me please. You and I have different methods, but isn't our goal the same? I get it, why you are so upset, why you don't like the way I do things, and to tell you the truth, I don't like it either. Kyoto? It was in some sort my way of killing three birds with one stone. Hayama would keep his group whilst being exposed for the fraud he is, even if his friends don't care about it that much, Ebina would remain in the group and the boys would be away from her, sharing this goal to some extent with Hayama, and I would finally be able to show you through my little acting the _real_ me I've been hiding for so long, for many reasons, thus preparing you for the incoming day where I'll reveal the whole truth. The only one who didn't got his 'wish' granted was Tobe and even then, from what I heard, Ebina said she wasn't ready_ 'right now'_, leaving the door still a bit open. You care about me. You have feelings for me, feelings you don't know of what nature and that scares you, that hurts you when you see me doing this to myself don't you? You can't explain what happens inside of you but that makes you furious at me for doing something stupid, but you're also furious at yourself for allowing that to happen, even worse, for telling yourself it's okay as long as the request presented is fulfilled. You feel like you treat me as some sort of disposable object and that upsets you because you care, you care about me...**"

Yukino struggles to keep her calm and dignified composure that makes her being the level-headed and smart person she is, and is about to jump off her seat and leave the clubroom, only for me to get up as well and blocking her by wrapping my arms around her.

I didn't meant to hug her or whatever especially after exposing her feelings in front of Yui, but I can't allow Yukino to have a mental breakdown.

She doesn't react well of course and starts trembling and trying to shake me off, seemingly hesitating on using martial arts and brute strength on me, but settles down after a minute or two, her erratic breathing returning down to a more normal one.

"**I'm not doing this in order to prevent you to run away from me, even if it might help you clear your mind. I'm doing this for you, because I know you're not someone who openly talks about their feelings, and you only have so few people, friends you trust, like Yui... The last thing you need right now is people seeing their idol, the great and seemingly perfect Yukino Yukinoshita reduced to tears because she can't handle the truth that came from someone else's mouth. Here, sit back, and drink some tea.**"

I tell her with the most calm and reassuring voice I can muster, letting slowly go of the grip of my hands on her arms, and sitting back on her chair.

_Well, I can't imagine how she will react tomorrow when I'll let the cat out of the bag, but probably pretty badly, considering what just happened with this small bit of truth... That's gonna be a very long day..._


	21. The Price

_Disclaimer: Long chapter, heavily focused on the truth behind Hikigaya 'Hachiman'. Basically a long monolgue, so you can technically skip it if you want, but there are quite a few details that might be important. Your choice._

* * *

Thank whoever was stupid enough for letting Hiratsuka Shizuka become a teacher and entrusting her with the keys of the school. That single mistake is what made most of the job as easy as a walk in the park.

We were able to sneak inside the building and inside the clubroom very early in the morning, and placing back into the closet my guitar case along with the human-like Hachiman doll I made to confront Sagami at the festival. Once that was done, Shizuka drove me back home in her car, where we talked for a bit, until she reluctantly let me re-enter my house without Komachi noticing I wasn't there. That did cost me a very brief session of kissing though...

It's today.

I'm not going to bullshit anyone nor myself, it's the first time in literal years that I am actually nervous and anxious about how things will go. Either positive, mixed, or downright straight to Hell. I contacted every single person I myself estimed worthy of knowing my secret and the burden I've been carrying silently for more than a year on my shoulders, unnoticed.

Komachi being an obvious one because well, it's Hikigaya Komachi! It's her reaction I fear the most, for the sole reason that Hachiman was her older brother. But another person who might be traumatized for life by this revelation is none other than the club's very president, Yukinoshita Yukino. It was her car, her family's car to be more specific, that sent Hikigaya Hachiman to the Afterlife, in a accident that shouldn't have been fatal to him, selflessly sacrificing himself by rescuing Sablé, Yuigahama Yui's dog.

Yui is clearly 'invited', as well as Zaimokuza Yoshiteru, Saika Totsuka and Saki Kawasaki. Shizuka herself will be there too.

Then there is the point where we come to the part where people other than me would think 'Wait, is this a good idea to let that person know?'.

Among the other names on my list, and some if not most might confuse, are Yukinoshita Haruno, Miura Yumiko, Isshiki Iroha, Shiromeguri Meguri and Ebina Hina.

Let it be clear that I absolutely refuse to let Hayama know anything about more about me than what he is already aware of. To him, I will stay and remain Hikigaya Hachiman, the loner he doesn't like and want to rely upon, despite being forced to do so, who was simply hiding himself behind a well crafted mask all along. None of his friends won't know about it as well.

I decided to go against the decision to tell Hachiman's parents the truth concerning their son and his passing. Keeping it a secret to the grave between me and Komachi will already prove to be difficult enough, I don't want to put them in a situation where they would mourn or be angry for the death of one of their child. No parents should have to bury their kids, ever!

What made me pick Yumiko, Hina, Iroha, Haruno and hell, Meguri the StuCo president, at least until she is replaced by, most likely Iroha herself, is that like Yukino, Yui, and Saki, I showed them my mask, but they also showed me they kept their mind open, and proved to be trustworthy enough to keep my secret for all this time, aside from Meguri and Iroha who are the two most recent addition and have yet to witness the truth.

Worst case scenario, one of them spill the beans about me, and I end up locked inside an asylum for being a mental case. That wouldn't exactly change me from what I put myself through the last few years...

But aside from that, right now I park my bike against the rack and place the lock as usual, taking a step back to look at my most recent work, one which I am kinda proud of.

Goodbye the plain look of Hikigaya Hachiman's bike, resembling a old woman's bicycle from the 60's! Rise and shine from those ashes, my creature, for I gave you a new life by using the remaining bits and pieces I kept from your old corpse!

Pitch black frame, new mountain bike 24" wheels and tires, no more basket nor mudguards, slightly reshaped pedals and handlebars. Lowered saddle, tweaked brakes for better response, and two small yet effecient headlights, one on the fork a few inches above the tire, and the other underneath the saddle. The last feature was a complete change of the original fork, adapting with a BIT of elbow grease the system of a BMX, allowing Barspins and Tailwhips should I ever find a spot where I can practice by myself.

Two things I remember from that day was how much of a hassle it was, and the shocked beyond belief of watching Komachi, frozen at witnessing an event that could be an announcement of the Apocalypse: her brother was WORKING!

Overall, gone was the monstrosity and welcomed was the change to a more 'sport' yet sober vibe, tested and ready machine for a bit of street riding every once in a while. As lazy as I can be, even I have my own limits when it comes to stay locked inside a house. I'm young again dammit, I NEED to take advantage of it.

But right now, as I get some occasional glances and glares from the daily commute of the imbeciles surrounding me known as 'students', as expected of the most hated guy in school, I also see those idiots looking at my new and improved bike, then back at me.

No doubt this will cause some whispers and rumors like: 'Hey, do you see the creep? He changed his bike! Does he think he will be cooler that way?' or some shit along those lines. Heh, as if I'd care!

That said though, they better not try to do anything stupid to my steed, or else...

They might get more than what they bargained for.

* * *

Eventually, the day goes in a blink, and before I know it, I am in front of the Clubroom, my right hand shaking ever so slightly at the idea of opening the door and confronting the people that are inside. Oh yes, I know they all came, including Komachi and Haruno, because you see, I've been re-using my little wireless camera from my mask and doll, sneakily placed inside said classroom, and saw everyone entering while I was hiding in the least spot they would expect me to be: the bathroom of this floor!

I shove it open in one move, and enter before closing it behind me, seeing all eyes on me now. I can still back off from it, but I won't, even if it's making my pulse and heartbeat rising. The confidence I had while opening they door seems to have been almost completly sapped by the object I'm now standing in front of.

"Alright, first of all thanks for coming. No need to stand up since I'm no teacher, despite the fact that I'm going to teach you a bit of a lesson today, a lesson of History to be more specific. So with that, I'm asking for three things from everyone and I hope it isn't too much: First of, when I give the signal for Start and Finish, I would like to be able to speak **without being interrupted**, even if you have questions, I'll answer them either during the explanation or once I'm done. Second, please keep an open mind, I am not bullshitting you in any way shape or form, **_every_** **_single thing_ **you will hear and see is the truth."

I make sure to take a bit of time to speak, looking at everyone staring back at me with confused looks or agreeing with nods. I then pocket out my phone out, and make the signal to keep quiet before raising my index in front of my lips while pushing a button on my phone that starts a pre-recorded message.

"_Thirdly, now that everyone is here, I want you to be aware that no matter what, the things that happened, whether good or bad up until today, none of that was our fault, whatever you did or said. It is a part of Life itself that you have to accept, even if it is difficult sometimes and you want to take the blame/responsability for it. Trust me, I've been doing this long enough to know that it will slowly but surely break your sanity and be harmful in the long term._"

While the message was playing, I tiptoed my way towards the door, moving as carefully and silently as a ghost, and when I was an a few inches away from it, I knew I would have to act swiftly. My timing has to be impeccable or else, it could compromise the entire thing.

Releasing a calming breath, then taking a sharp intake of air, I move quickly my hands, open the door and exit the clubroom.

A second after I exited the clubroom, a high-pitched feminine yelp could be heard, followed by a muffled collision against the wall.

As I re-enter, I drag along with me a surprise, unexpected and nearly unwelcomed, though I have to say, had I been completly oblivious and an idiot, you would most likely have gotten away with your spying on me...

Sagami Minami...

* * *

"Sagamin? What are you doing here?" Yui exclaimed in shock, as she saw her former friend, and still commitee chairman of the festival, her arms locked behind her back, taken hostage by Hachiman who keeps a firm grip on her wrist with one hand.

He approaches the lined-up tables where everyone was sitting at, and nodded to Shizuka, who handed him what looked like... keys?

Releasing the red-brownish haired girl, who looked back at him with anger while rubbing her wrists, he calmly walked back to the door and locked it, before pocketting the keys, and his phone.

* * *

Hikigaya POV

* * *

"I know you pretty much hate me Sagami-san, but I do have to commend and praise you for one thing: you've been growing!"

"What do you mean by that?" She asked, growled lowly, glaring at me, earning confused stares and glared between myself and her.

"Before I answer your question, since you came here of your own volition and now that you're here, why not take a seat and stay? I mean, the reason why you did come here after all is in that very clubroom, the very truth to all the questions you've been asking yourself."  
She looked back at the present persons, and saw that all but one chair were occupied, except for the one that was facing the tables, obviously reserved for him. But why?

"Why leaving a chair empty you might ask? Simple, I knew you would be coming, spying at the door on this rather private conversation between me, and the people I have invited. You're going to ask me next how I figured what you were thinking? Your facial expression gave you away, it's that easy."  
Sagami let out a loud and very unlady-like snort before reaching the empty chair, and sitting on it.

"Now that we are ALL here, I'll want to make another point but that would be my personal 'request' as instigator of this 'exceptional event' as one might call it. I want to make sure that you ALL will keep to yourselves, and yourselves alone what you will hear and witness. What is said in this clubroom **_doesn't leave_** the walls of this clubroom... Not without **dire** consequences..."

The tone of my voice conveys my message in a low and cold, deadly fashion, showing how serious I am about this, something that doesn't go unnoticed by my audience.  
I don't really pay attention as to who nods in agreement and who doesn't, because I have in my mind a way to threaten each and every single one of them should they consider stabbing me in the back. But not that they know, for now at least...

"Very well. As you may or may not be aware of, I have been a little bit less my 'usual self' those past few weeks, the Hikigaya Hachiman who is perceived in the eyes of many as a selfish asshole, a cynical loner who doesn't meddle in other's business and is perfectly content to be left on the side, free to hate society and the masses along with their stupid norms and rules. I assume most if not all of you know what I'm talking about."  
It doesn't take long before they give me confirmation, and I sit in my chair, a table used as a desk to rest my elbows upon.

"As some may say, for quite some time now, I have been wearing what you could call a 'mask' of sort. A lot of people do that nowadays, although for different reasons. Most often than not, people do it as a coping mechanism, while others do it for the sole purpose of pleasing the masses in a very hypocritical way, or even to satisfy their own egos. I did that very thing using what could be considered the first option, however, it couldn't be further away from the truth."

"The reason I have been acting the way I've been recently, considered less and less 'normal' for Hikigaya Hachiman is because, despite this body saying the contrary,** I** am **not Hikigaya Hachiman**!"

As soon as the bomb was dropped, the appropriate reaction to this action happened as planned when gasps, mouths opened and hands raised upwards, wanting to refute the statement.

I raise my bandage left hand next to my face, and send a slight glare, before lowering my hand back to the wooden surface of the table.

"First and foremost, this isn't a joke, I am absolutely and completly serious about this matter. That is why I have to humbly apologize to you Hikigaya Komachi, and have to formally inform you of your older brother's tragic and untimely passing." I say while standing up, before bowing with my forehead touching the floor in her direction.

I can hear the young girl gasping and muttering things along the lines of 'It's not real, Onii-chan can't be...'.

I stand up after half a minute, sitting again and recomposing myself, going onwards with my story.

"I am unfortunately telling you nothing but the truth, as sad as it is. Take it as you wish, but there are no lies coming out of my mouth, not anymore. That is why I called you today, because I am tired and angry to keep everyone in the dark about who I really am and what happened over a year ago."  
I can see Yui and Yukino tensing as soon as I finish my sentence. They know by now what I am refering to, most likely.

"On the very day Hikigaya Hachiman was on his way to enter this very high school, he was riding his bike when he saw a dog in the middle of the road. Not only that, but a car was coming from the dog's right side, and mostly wasn't about to dodge nor stop itself. Hikigaya Hachiman then decided, as the black limousine was dangerously making its way towards the animal to rescue the canine, at the cost of his own safety... and life."

"What should have been a mere broken leg for him ended up him losing his life at such a young age, but not before reaching the hospital. The car in question was the propriety of the Yukinoshita family, and inside of it was an unaware Yukinoshita Yukino, on her way too, to this high school. In that regard, none of the Yukinoshita present right here can't, or are to be held as accountable for the death of Hikigaya Hachiman, and I insist _**very heavily** _on that."

"What took place that day shouldn't have occured, and I myself still have no answers as to why or what lead to the predicament I am in today. According to what has been told to me when I, the person who posted as Hikigaya Hachiman, woke up, Hikigaya Hachiman was declared 'clinically dead' while the body was maintained in a coma-state like. The staff said themselves that it was an unseen event. As soon as you die normally, your heart stops beating, your brain shuts off, and your entire body 'collapses', but instead in this instance, the body kept sending living signals despite the 'soul', the very 'core' of the being was already gone. In a desperate attempt at trying to resurrect the deceased, they place his body in an induced coma."

I regain my breathing due to the mouthful I have been spouting up until now, and I see many expressions on faces and eyes, from sadness, guilt, confusion, disbelief...

"As previously mentionned, I am not Hikigaya Hachiman, but someone who was alive at some point, and lived his life until I too, met my end and died. Needless to say how surprising and unexpected it was for me to close my eyes and releasing my last breath before following the now famous 'light at the end of the tunnel' on my way to whatever is after you die, and realizing that said light was the bright color of a hospital room's ceiling. Not just this, but considering that I was European during my lifetime, I definitely knew something was wrong when I saw asian faces all over 'my' bedridden body, incredulous to witness a teenager coming back from to the world of the Living after being pronounced 'clinically dead'. Oh, and spare me the never-ending series of questions in a language that wasn't my own, that I had 'learned' in my past only through the viewing of japanese animes, and yet, I understood and spoke it fluently as if it was my mother tongue, despite the fact that I couldn't even make a complete sentence beforehand."

"I then learned that the cause of death was a cranial trauma, internal bleeding inside the skull that they managed to fix while the body was maintained in the coma. But it was too late already, the boy that passed the front gate had died, and now, someone else who didn't ask for this was in his place, not that the fools knew it of course... The damage was done, Hikigaya Hachiman was gone, and for whatever reason the Universe saw as legitimate, I was left up to pick the pieces! I had lived my life, turned adult, fell ill, died and was completely uncaring about that, only to wake up in someone else's body. That sounded like the start of a stupid Isekai story written by a drunk and single guy on a Valentine day's night, to drown his sorrow because he couldn't get laid and had too much delusions in his mind rather than good ideas. The worst part of it was that, for me, all of this was real..."

I lean back in my chair, and settle my gaze on the the clubroom's ceiling, hearing nothing but the complete and deafening silence all around, not even a whisper, a sign of life.

"I had been through a lot, a life of shit, was perfectly fine with the outcome of my actions and inactions, and yet, for some dumb fucking reason that evades my mind, I couldn't get the eternal rest I was supposed to receive. I wasn't suicidal, far from it! I like living and would've wished to stay alive longer if I hadn't been confronted with that shit-ton of crap, but that was denied from me, and instead, I was now placed in the recently departed body of a teenager who made one 'social suicide' too many. I had to fill the shoes of an older brother, a high schooler, eldest child of the family, and the only help that I was provided with was his memories still stocked inside his brain, with mines that I brought along during the ride. I learned that barely twenty minutes had passed before 'I' flatlined and I regained consciousness. Since no one could explain how such a thing was possible, they simply said in their official report that I fell into a micro-coma due to the trauma before waking up perfectly fine afterwards."

I push back the chair slightly, picking up a sport bag from underneath the table, and zipped it open to place a few of the items inside on the wooden top. A bottle of water, a small bowl, a towel, a laptop with its charger, and a usb cable. Placing the laptop on the right low corner of the table, I open the bottle of water, taking a sip of it before filling the bowl halfway through. Then, using the towel, I dabbed it into the water, and cleaned my face of the familiar makeup I always use to conceal my real face.

"This" I say as I place the towel down and point my left index finger towards my revealed face. "Is the result of countless nights searching for an explanation, any possible answer or scenario that could've lead up to the situation I was now in. It eventually evolved into insomnia at some point, considering I spent literal months trying to figure something that I realized was out of my reach, and abandonned. But as you can see, the marks are here and I don't know if they are permanent or will disappear in the future, but for now, no progress on that topic."

I stand up, pick up the bowl with water in it, and after opening the window, empty the contens outside, before placing the item back on the bag below the table, making my way towards the closet at the back of the room. I open the doors and pull another sport bag out of it, showing it to everyone as I hold it high in the air, and close the door behind me with the bag still in hand.

As I can hear the confusion growing even further outside of the cramped closet, I emerged a minute or two later, with new clothes, or perhaps familiar to some people. I also grab hold of my guitar case and a now Sobu High covered item that looks quite big in size under my other arm.

Placing the guitar case on the table without knocking off the laptop, I unlock it while placing the other item on the floor next to the bag with the empty bowl and towel inside. I turn the case and open it to face my audience, flabbergastered when they connect the dots and witness someone they had seen before, on the internet.

I place my right hand on the neck of my Gibson Les Paul Custom, and show it to them, to prove that this guitar, this instrument is the real deal, and the owner of this beautifully crafted piece of wood can only be one person...

"That is correct, I am that one popular anonymous guitarist on the internet who does covers of famous songs, and original ones as well. This, is my trusty partner, that I was forced to buy online due to the numerous customizations to it that can't be done by going into a store. From the color and pattern of the top, the golden tuning machines, the pickups, the binding on the body and along the neck, not to mention it is a left-handed model, it costs quite a lot of cash... Fortunately for me, not only my long acquired skills remained, I also quickly found a way to earn some money legally, and it was a very tiresome job to collect enough to pay for this. But at the end of the day, it was totally worth the grind and painful tasks, which I won't reveal."

I let out a genuine smile as I look again at the instrument in my hand, and place the strap on my shoulder, gently plucking the 'nickel plated steel nanoweb 10-46' strings, playing a few chords before sitting on my chair again, this time in front of the table.

"When I was in middle school, I met someone who became my best friend, up until my last breath. A chill guy, someone who wouldn't hurt a fly, yet came from halfway through the country we lived in. He played an acoustic guitar while I was able to borrow one from '_someone_', but the thing was, I realized very fast that playing in the same position he was, right-handed, wasn't for me. Now I know what you're thinking: 'What is the difference between left-handed and right-handed?'. Playing the guitar right-handed mean you do the chords with your left hand, and pluck the strings with your right, and the opposite for a left-handed like me. But the absurdity in all of this? I am right-handed, meaning my right hand is my dominant one, and because of that, I am have more strength, speed, dexterity, and it's just natural. Now that isn't uncommon to learn that some famous guitarists have the same 'issue' as me, but the thing to keep in mind is that since left-handed guitarists are less popular and numerous, the price tag isn't the same, and the selection of models and colors is quite... restrictive."

"And so, due to my encounter with this blonde-haired guy who wasn't a fraud like someone we all know here, but was a true friend to me, I started playing the guitar, and became decently good at it. Throughout the years, I collected a few of them, and drowned myself in music. As cheesy, corny and stupid sounding as it is, my guitars became my friends too, my passion, my lovers even one of my sole remaining interests as I delved deeper in an abyss that would ultimately claim me." I say with a hollow chuckle at the end, staring at the beautiful instrument in my lap with dull eyes.  
"The cause of death, for me, if I have to take a guess since it happened while I was falling asleep in my bedroom? I'd say cardiac arrest, probably. There are many diseases in the World, but one that is deadly and overlooked? **Depression.**"

I can hear the ever-so subtle and continued surprise when I mention the very thing that most likely ended up taking my life.

"_'How long have I been depressed?'_ I always asked myself towards the end. A decade? Two? From birth maybe? What triggered it? In thirty years of life, I assume I spent at least two thirds, two entire decades suffering from depression, but since it comes in many forms and stages, it went undiagnosed for a long time. Of course, they were many events that helped that silent disease creeping its way through me, but the nail in the coffin, so to speak, was when I fell physically ill due to one to many mistakes... A girl. Heh... 'Mononucleosis' as it is called scientifically, most commonly known as 'Kissing sickness'. A form of hepatitis that destroys most if not all of your white cells, your immune system. From birth, I was already frail in terms of health and often fell sick, but with _**that** _on top? Little by little, adding the medication for my depression, my internal organs started getting damaged, mainly stomach, liver and gall bladder. Some times, I would find blood mixed up with my saliva, or my digestive system would feel fucked up. Frequent headaches with ophthalmic migraines on a mensual basis... One by one, those things piled up with the daily shit I also had to deal with my 'family', or what was left of it. That's part of the reason why I felt calm and almost welcomed my death when it came..."

I place my right hand behind my head as I leaned back in my chair still staring at the ceiling, my left hand laying on top of the treasure in my lap.

"And then, when I finally think I can rest and be done with the World, its people and the shit that comes along, I end up waking up in someone else's body who, by all means, _**shouldn't**_ have died. But I guess a little fucker commonly known as **_God_**, wanted to have some entertainement and simply couldn't grant me my desire. Heh, that cocksucking son of a bitch may as well be watching us as we speak, and laugh his mighty ass off as I am explaning all of that to you. I wouldn't be surprised if it was the case, and that is something that comes out of the mouth of a thirty years old atheist!" My voice is laced with sarcasm as I let out another dark chuckle.

I place the guitar back into its case very carefully and lock it back, go to plug in the laptop's charger in the wall while connecting my phone to said laptop by using the usb cable. Pulling up the screen of the larger device and searching for a very specific folder located inside the phone, I lift up the former and put it on the closed guitar case, the screen facing the sitting persons, with a full-sized image of someone they never saw before.

"Ever since I woke up, my mind was harassed constantly by questions, hypothesis, theories of all kind, yet there was **one**, a single one I kept in the back of my head and never wanted to have an answer for it. Eventually, with time, my natural curiosity got the best of me, and I ventured on the depths of the internet. It didn't take long, but the first time I saw _**this** _again... I was at a loss on how to react."

The picture on the screen was of someone who didn't looked Japanese, rather caucasian, pale complexion with two dark brown orbs hidden behind rectangular blue half-rimmed glasses, a pair a thin lips surrounded by an untrimmed and short goatee, middle length dark brown, borderline black hair untamed with a few short bangs framing his oval-shaped face.

The most striking feature however was that not only he barely looked over his teenager years, but has that very serious expression on his face, bringing out of his eyes a sharp mind and maybe even a high level of intelligence.

"I had almost completly brushed off the probability of this being possible, but I concluded two things when I saw this picture: either I was thrown back in time in my own Universe, or... I was placed in an alternative reality, eerily similar to mine, which could explain not only why, but also how I am still alive right now, on the other side of the globe, in the exact same physical condition and location I was in until the day I died. There's one thing I'm most thankful for though, and it's the fact that me and _him_ will **never** meet in this life, for if we do..."

My tone turned dark, and the temperature in the room became colder as my gaze switched into a glare towards the photo on display.

"**...I'll put a bullet into his head, and kill him! So that way, it won't be considered suicide if I'm the one doing it. I'll just save my self from future troubles.**"

If by now, most if not all of the persons sitting in the clubroom haven't guessed already the identity of the stranger, the intense glare I display is slowly shifted to their general direction.

"**That's right! This, is who I was 7 or 8 years ago, give or take a few months, at this point in my life. And it seems it is who I still am.**"


	22. Somebody's Watching Me

A shorter chapter to _counter-balance_ the huge previous one that was a massive chunk to pull out. Though it was for the most part an entire monologue. Heh.

* * *

A fly could be heard right now in the Service clubroom, because of the unraveled truth of Hikigaya Hachiman, and the man posing as him, right this very moment. No one was screaming bullshit, no one was panicking or even saying a word, except for a few pairs of lips parted slightly, but no noise was coming out. From a third person's point of view, it was looking like a small classroom staring at a student showing on his laptop a visual part of his presentation. Even with the two oldest females to whom said 'student' had already confessed the truth, it was still a tough deal to process the same informations a second time.

Where it could've been a more 'lively' and 'alive' ambiance, it was quite the opposite, something most would find frightening for good reasons.

_Deadly quiet._

"I believe I pretty much all you basically need to know about me, and the former owner of this body I'm stuck in. If you have any questions however, feel free to ask, but be precise and quick. Just because we have been given the entire afternoon doesn't mean we have all day." Hikigaya spoke, turning off the laptop and placing back into the sport bag on the floor.

For a few minutes, the awkward silence stayed and no one uttered a word, simply exchanging stares and nod until Hikigaya Komachi came up with a question.

"If.. If you aren't Onii-chan then, if he truly is... dead... Then who are you? You never gave us your name, only brief glimpses of what your life has been." She spoke softly and meekly, the complete opposite of the bright and cheerful cute little sister she always was.

He nodded, brushing his hair to give them a more untamed look, pulled out 4 items from his right pocket, placing one of them around his neck, and 3 smaller ones on his fingers, 2 on the left hand and a single one on his right hand.

"When I was alive, Komachi, I went by the name that was given to me at birth, Alexander 'Alex' L. I won't say my former family name because it's something I unfortunately inherited from a person I hated my whole life, and it wasn't my mother. Born at the end of May 1989 only to die at the age of 30, near my 31st birthday, 2020. That being said, Alex isn't the name I'm going to go by now, and keeping the use of your departed brother's name wouldn't be right, none of those two choices would be due to the fact we both died. So I gave some thought and found one I quite like, Damian."

Yui gained a shocked face when he mentionned his birthdate, and voiced her own question using her voice, not as loud as usual but close.

"Which day is your birthdate Hikki? Are you too being a Gem-"

"Yes Yui, I'm a Gemini too. You were born June 16th if my memory serves me right, and I was born a few days before the end of May, so according to the zodiacal calendar, the two of us are Geminis, birthed under the sign that is both a blessing and a curse at the same time. Depending on what are your beliefs, what you've been through in life, you could be on one or the other plate of the scale: someone good, or someone bad. I never paid much attention to my horoscope in general and only read and remembered the important parts of being one. Funny though, I never pictured you as an astrologic-related nerd." He chuckled at the light jab at the end, making her pout cutely.

Said expression was short-lived as a faint blush crept up her cheeks and a small smile made its way on her lips.

"It's not that... I'm just happy to know that we have something in commong, something important..."

His eyes widened for a bit before returning to their natural half-lidded shape, a ghost of a smile in response to hers.

"You know, one thing to keep in mind even though we have that in common indeed, is to not lose yourself like I did. While I read and discovered the traits of the people born under that sign and find pretty much all of it to be insanely accurate, it is as unlikely to find 2 Gemini being exactly the same. In fact, it is as unlikely as finding two perfectly identical water drops on a rainy day. What makes you who you are isn't a a 'brand', a 'mark' or whatever. It's what you believe in, how you see things, how you have been raised, what you went through... That is what shapes you into who you are, and what you'll become. But I'm glad not to be alone anymore in that regard..."

His voice was calm and deep. It was as if he was speaking like an old wise sage, which didn't escaped the two oldest persons in the room, and the resident chuunibyou as well.

"Humu! I see my old battle partner has not lost his smarts and wisdom! No matter what form or name you take, we both will outlive others and spread out the tales of our glorious lives to the future generations! Mwahahahaha!" Zaimokuza exclaimed loudly as he stood up from his chair with a wild grin and a thumbs up, staring at a facepalmed exasperate schoolmate.

"Zaimokuza, while I will take as compliments the few parts in your short speech which I assume were legitimate compliments, I am also both amazed and scared at the same time by your enthousiasm. In the company of the wrong people, a guy as committed and passionate as you could very well be responsible for the emergence of a Fourth Reich... And we already have enough bullshit going in the World we live in right now. So if you don't mind my blunt way of saying it, _please sit the fuck back down and shut your mouth._"

Zaimokuza wasn't fazed whatsoever by the recently revealed older man and sat down, proudly keeping his grin and crossing his arms over his puffing chest.

"Hmm, senpai?"

Hikigaya, or Damian now that he has established his new private identity, shifted his gaze towards a shy-looking Isshiki, but he knew better not to stare at her for too long, or he might forget what kind of person was hiding underneath her own mask.

"Isshiki Iroha, I thought I already told you at least once to not call me like that, but also that I would kill you if you did. So unless you stop doing that permanently, the Student Council Presidency will find itself without a candidate, considering you're the only one running right now. Aside from that, go on."

By any means, the way he spoke held no malice or ill intentions whatsoever, but for most except Isshiki herself and a few others, Hikigaya talking so casually about killing someone was really disturbing and downright scary as hell.

"Ne _senpai~_, what is your goal in life now? And what was it in the past?"

Yes indeed, that question had been in a lot of minds up until now, even Shizuka and Haruno's, and his own as well.

The surprising action on his end was to widen his eyes a bit in surprise, picking a pack of cigarettes from his back pocket, and placing one in his mouth without lighting it. He sat on the edge of the table, his left leg dangling in the air, placed his forearms on his knees and took a fake drag on the item in his mouth before huffing loudly, head hung low.

"Hikigaya Hachiman's goal for the future was to become a househusband. To a certain point my goal was pretty much the same in my former life, all the way to when I exited middle school. For some reason, the concept of being married to a beautiful faithful woman I would love, have kids with her, a house, living a normal life and even getting a job was everything I wanted. Others were more focused about what they wanted to do, focusing on their high school, college, getting a degree and stuff like that, but to me, this was the one and only important thing..."

"Of course, nothing go as planned, and the dreams I had been having ever since I was 10 or 11 were crushed into dust the moment all that childish time came to an end, everyone drifting apart as life goes on. Soon enough, I felt left in the dirt, left to rot in the loneliness and solitude I feared more than anything. Days transformed into weeks, months, and before I realized, I had grown accustomed to those fears and accepted them willingly as my own life. It dawned upon me that I had reached the proverbial 'bottom of the well'... And I was past the point of no return."

"I was comfortable in that pit of emptiness, alone, surrounded by silence, and I would occasionally remember bits of my past, wondering about '_what ifs_' displayed in an endless black void. I unconsciously went into the 5 stages of grief very quickly, and the last one, Acceptance, was shockingly the easiest to deal with. But instead of feeling completly empty and dead inside as I should have after going through the final step, I stayed alive because the 2nd step was deep-rooted inside my mind, more than I had ever thought: **Anger!**"

He stood up and walked towards the windows and stared at the blue sky outside, his narrowed eyes closing for a few seconds before opening again, glaring at something or someone, perhaps his own reflection in the glass.

"All the repressed anger and negative feelings, emotions I had kept locked up were brought back, awakened from a forced slumber after all those years. Despite being a much calmer, wiser person as time went one, those mental scars never disappeared, no matter how deep I tried to push them. The moment I accepted the 'end' of my 'dreams' and hopes for a future, the moment I mentally died, all of that negativity was brought back and replaced the life I had just gave up. I remained mature and composed, but it was only a mask to hide this **_new_** me, reborn from anger and hatred, with a single purpose in mind: **Bring down with me those who wronged me in any way, shape or form. No one would be safe, there would be no more family, friends, acquaintances... Only victims and piles of dead bodies with mine on top once it was over...**"

He let out a dark and hollow chuckle as he kept going on, letting a short pose after another fake drag on his cigarette.

"Eventually, that twisted state of mind accelerated the rate of my organs failures, and probably played a part in my death. Then, as you all know by now, I was 'transfered' in this body, and had time to accustom myself to this place, its people, and started embracing a new life. Slowly but surely, I might be able to let go of the past, but it's gonna take some time. So don't expect me to go all mushy and nice on any of you anytime soon. Call that some sort of 'recovery'..."

The last part of his sentence brought a few small laughs and giggles from the females, AND Totsuka. Sagami Minami stayed silent and Saki Kawasaki was having a bright blush on her cheeks for... whatever reason.

"Yeah yeah, make fun of me, go on. I am the oldest person in this clubroom, so technically, I am the authority right here and now! But because I'm in a decent mood, I'll let it slide this time around." He waved dismissingly, placing back the intact cigarette into the back pocket of his black large jeans and sat back on the edge of the table he was using as a desk.

"So, anythin' else you wanna ask?"

Once more, a bit of silence until it was broken by a question no one necessarely expected after the ramble Damian had just been through. But it was also the person who asked that was just as unexpected as the question itself.

"Hermm, Damian-kun... Do you have your eyes on someone at the moment?"

All eyes, especially the red-brownish ones turned towards none other than Hina Ebina.

* * *

_To those wondering the reason behind the title of each chapter, those are songs from my favorite spotify playlist. I am for the most part what could be 'classified' as a hard-rocker/metalhead. I try as best as I can to make the content of each chapter to match the ambiance, lyrics and even title of each song. The reason why I assume so many people went reading the improved 1st chapter 'The Loner' for example isn't because it's the first one of the story, but because it clearly relates to Hikigaya Hachiman and who he is. However, I chose this title based on a song from late guitarist Gary Moore, a mainly instrumental where he displayed his many great abilities with a guitar and set up a very specific mood. Many people say the man didn't quite got the respect he deserved as one of the many great of all times, but that's another whole subject entirely. _


	23. Ich Will

_'Hermm, Damian-kun... Do you have your eyes on someone at the moment?'_

I couldn't, and still can't help it but to have, at random intervals of time, this question repeatedly popping into my mind. Why did it came out of Ebina.. Hina's mouth?

Could it be because of what I told her on the rooftop of Kyoto's station when I was messing up with her and forcing her to spill out the truth? Has she been affected that much so now she is perhaps considering me as a possible boyfriend material? Does SHE has her sights on me?

If so, what to do with Shizuka and Haruno then? About Yui? I do know for a fact that Kawasaki... Saki has a soft spot for me, so does that mean there's a race, and if so, should I include her in too? What is my role in all of that?

My 'reverie' was cut-off quickly when two noisy voices invaded my ears, soon followed by a third one, standing next to me, his fake smile proudly on display.

_Hayato Hayama..._

I could've told the elder Yukinoshita sister last evening to come drag me to this date by herself when she phoned me. Hell, I could've easily turned this in my favor by telling her I would rather spend the day on a date with her instead, and I'm pretty sure she would've loved it!

But alas, in order for things to stay the way they are, and without taking risks to wake up the still slumbering Murphy's Law, I chose to abide to this ridiculous situation and presented myself at the time and place that were decided by Hayama. And now, I have to spend my precious Sunday with those annoyances, when I could've done something more productive, like staying at home.

_Home? When did I started to refer as the Hikigaya household as my 'home'?_

_Komachi..._

Komachi had been pretty shaken up by the revelation of the other day, that much was obvious. It's not every day you learned that not only your elder sibling has been dead the whole time, but someone else has been inhabiting his body! There was no way to turn back the clock...

I comforted her as best as I could, as her 'non'-brother, and the first evening together was, well, weird to say the least. For the first time since I _became_ Hikigaya Hachima, we were blood-related strangers living under the same roof! The silence was so much worse than what happened earlier in the clubroom I considered going into my room, leaving her alone to process everything and have some peace..

But she refused that! Instead, she latched onto me and pleaded, begged me to not leave her alone, especially now that her brother was gone.

I may be cold, I may be cruel, I may be insensitive, I don't cry anymore, but that scene, that memory which engraved itself into my mind, it felt like a punch in the guts. A hundred-times stronger than Shizuka's worst punch!

Due to the fact that I had been born a lone child in my former life, I never had experience in comforting siblings... I was at a serious loss on what to do.

Thankfully, Komachi saw that, perhaps through the slight troubled look I had at that moment on my face, and we went into my room together, where we spent our time talking. Her asking me more about my old life and stuff like that, probably trying to get a better understanding as who she was going to have to deal with on a daily basis from now on...

We talked so late into the night, the following morning came with a funny surprise one would say, when we realized we had been sleeping together in the same bed, cuddled and holding each other, with her wearing my baggy t-shirt, with only her underwear beneath, whereas I was only wearing my large black pants, her head buried against my naked chest.

_Talk about awkward... _

_Huh, aaaaanyway..._

"Sorry we're late!" Orimoto Kaori shouted while waving her hand at Hayama, with her friend in toe, whatever the fuck her name was.

The trio discussed where to go first, while I was walking slightly behind, letting my gaze wander left and right because I had nothing better to do, I was just the fourth 'spare' wheel of a side-car here.

We soon find ourselves in a theater, with a huge cinema screen displaying a movie labelled as 'romance', and _everyone_ is watching dumbly with a dumb smile on their face.

Well, _everyone_ but me of course!

"I'm watching a movie with you, Hikigaya! If people from junior high heard about this, they'd freak out!" Comes out of the voice of Kaori Orimoto, who leaned up my way a bit to tell me this.

I ponder for a few seconds about what to say, or just saying nothing, but I think I'm going to drop a little hint for her there, and entertain myself at her expenses...

"They sure would if they found out that not only you're on a date, but out of all people, with the _dead-eyed freak_, Orimoto-san." I keep my composure as Hikigaya Hachiman, and speak with a tiny innocent-looking smile on my face.

Although if you read between the lines, you would see a rather cruel grin spitting out venom-laced words aimed directly at you, _**bitch**_!

She replies by giggling stupidly like those annoying modern day gooses. I seriously wonder what the hell had been through Hachiman's mind at the time to ever considering her a potential romantic candidate. Even if I have his memories in my head, what has he been thinking? Had he been thinking at all?

She's nothing out of the ordinary. She was plain looking, brown hair, a nice face, 'acceptable' proportions in the womanly area, but she doesn't seem to be a bright or sharp one. I mean, Hachiman ended up in Sobu, which was a high standard High School in Chiba, and she didn't.

That means by smarts alone, he was better than her, despite his looks and how people treated him, while she ended up in... Was it Kaihin? Gaijin? Whatever the name, it didn't had the sort of 'High standard High School' Sobu beneficiated from. So if she was still trying to downplay me, who she thought was still Hachiman, did she thought him ending in Sobu was a fluke?

That would be your third mistake by now_ girlie_. Go on, keep piling them on top of another, that will give me an even better reason to teach you **Humility** at the end of the day. You don't know it yet, but you're walking barefooted on eggs and broken shards of glass every single second.

_**And I am enjoying it!** _

* * *

"Wasn't that explosion totally insane? I'm pretty sure Hikigaya wet himself! The look on his face had me laughing so hard." Orimoto spoke while facing me, with her equally idiotic friend smiling in the background, and Hayama next to me, his uncomfortable usual smile on display. Heh, of course it would be too much of the 'Saint' to appease things even though he knows deep down that it will esclate at some point.

_You still haven't learned the lesson I see..._

"Hmm? I wasn't expecting it to be that loud. I was focused on something else entirely so it took me out of my thoughts, hehe..." I speak with a calm tone, faking an utterly ugly false laugh. Fucking hell, the shit I have to pull for this dickhead next to me... Calm down, breathe, and remember: _**HE OWES ME!**_

_Now that instantly pulls me into a better mood!_

"Yeah, it surprised me a little."

Hmm? What was that sound? Did I just imaginate it or did the mute 'Saint' just spoke? Might've been the wind...

"But weren't you totally calm the entire time?" The secondary annoyance, Chika I suppose, speaks while leaning towards Hayama with some lovesick eyes, quickly followed by Orimoto.

_Huh, so he DO speak after all? Well, he sure didn't 'wet himself' too much here. Be careful, once you drip so much as a toe, who knows what kind of monsters will drag you into its den underneath the surface?_

"I know right? It made me jump a little, but he acted like it was nothing. Hikigaya though..." Orimoto went next to Hayama's left side, and started laughing like the idiot she is, hugging herself as she did so.

I say nothing and fake perfectly a slightly embarassed face, but inside, the counter keeps adding new points every minute or so.

"I-If we don't hurry, we won't have time to check out the shops."

Ooooh, what a brilliant attempt at defusing the situation here, _Hayama-kun_...

Let's see where that leads us...

* * *

After a while, we are in a large building, a mall with the name Palco on the front of it, and when I say _'we'_, It's actually Hayama standing like a buffoon again all by himself, with the two lovestruck puppies showing him clothes, while I lay with my back leaning against a wall, watching the scene from afar. And even from that distance, that still gives me some strong stomach aches...

I let my eyes wander around once more when I stop upon seeing the two figures on my right, barely ten meters from me. A standing Hina Ebina, and a sitting Yumiko Miura trying up some brown high boots.

It appears Hina being as surprised as I am also garnered Yumiko's attention, and the three of us are actually staring at each other.

I slowly lift up my left hand, and give the two of them a very light and casual wave, but it seems that out of the two of them, Hina has actually picked up what is going on. She realized I'm wearing the Hachiman _mask_, so whatever I'm doing here, it's because I am forced to do so.

She gives me a cute small smile and reciprocate my wave, which I appreciate, until Yumiko spots Hayama, and a light frown appears on the female blonde's face, before staring back at me.

I sigh and mouth out a few words for her to understand.

_Here because of him. He owes me now._

Her green eyes do a bit of back and forth between the blonde male and me, staring directly into my own red-brownish orbs, before nodding and acknowledging my wave. She then turns her attention back to the boots she was closing with the ziptie on the side.

_Did she... Did I... Did she just acted like a jealous girlfriend who gave me a pass? Huuuh..._

_Whatever, the less I think, the less of a headache I'll get..._

I resume my walk towards Hayama and inform him that we would better get going, as it's already late, and this bothersome joke of a date is nearing its end.

On our way to the floor upstairs, we actually meet two persons going down, turning out to be...

Dobe... AND Iroha!

_Is it a coincidence that next to our right, there is a giant sign with a pair of lips in the shape of a kiss, and underneath the words 'Reach first base'?_

...

Hayama and Dobe engaged into the why him and Iroha were in that place too, a clear one-sided conversation due to the later's whining, until he realized, and it's something that shocked me a bit inside that he was, indeed, 'interrupting something' as he said so himself.

So it seems he has learned self-awareness, or a least a bit of it? Kyoto may have had a much more changing experience on him than I thought it would...

As for Iroha...

"Sen~pai~..."

_Soldiers, this isn't a drill! The U.S.S Hikigaya is under attack! Prepare the weapons! The target in on our right flank! Don't waver, we can push it back! Give your all!_

The attention turned towards me as the sirens and red lights were franctically blaring in my mind at the proximity and display of speed Iroha just used to get next to me. No one saw her move, not even myself! That is a very critical situation if even I, with my eyes, can't keep track of her movements!

"What are you doing here? Out having fun?"

Or at least that's why you'd think she is saying, if you don't read any deeper, nor take into account her facial features. The real meaning is much darker.

_"You've got some balls to be goofing off with chicks while you've got work to do."_

Oh well, better let her know through some code of our own, even if we barely haven't established a common code just yet, let's just hop she'll be able to pick up my message.

"Yeah, I'm doing an errand for Komachi. Besides, it's Sunday you know?"

At face value, this sounds like an actually good excuse, considering the price tags all over the place show some serious reductions on various items.

Iroha stares back at me, and lean a little bit closer to my face.

_"I'm doing this guy a favor so he owes me. Do I struck you as the guy who would willingly go out with girls on a weekend, considering my 'reputation'?"_

I see her eyes widening ever so slightly, and she pulls me by my sleeve so heer mouth is right next to my ear. WAY TOO CLOSE! Has anyone taught you about personal privacy?

**"Who is that anyway? Your girlfriend maybe? But there's two of them. How do you know one another?"**

**That** is fucking scary and interesting as shit! Did I just heard Iroha Isshiki's true voice whispering words jealous words into my ear?

Not only that, but that wide pure smile on her face makes it incredibly more... disturbing? Arousing, for some reason? unsettling? I wouldn't be able to put a word, but it's a perticular feeling I get right now.

**"One and four, past. Second, no. Three, ask Haruno. Favors."** I reply with an equal whisper to my 'cute kouhai', and she nods while maintaining the same smile on her face.

"Sorry about that Iroha. I made him tag along." Is all the 'Sobu Saint' can manage out of his mouth and through his dumb mask, who probably reacted when he heard me whispering the name 'Haruno'. Pretty sure he wouldn't have said anything if I didn't placed an invisible knife under his throat right there.

After visiting a few more shops, the four of us end up in a fancy café, where mostly Orimoto and her dumb bitch of a friend make light conversation, although it's more pathetic than what Hayama had tried with me talking about how, according to him, neither of us actually were in love with anyone, despite thinking at the time, we were, only because we were younger and naive.

Four trays lay on the table, the two females on one side and two males, me included on the other side.

As I tune out the pointless noise coming from the female side, I see a suspicious figure sitting by herself in the back of the café, wearing a bi-colored hat, and a white coat on her chair, waving at me with a smile on her face.

Her face...

HARUNO?

_Oh yeah, of course it's Haruno. She's here to both make fun of me, and making sure everything goes according to her own plans. Woman, really..._

"I'm not really fond of that... the way you two are acting."

_Ooooh, does little Hayato-kun is finally intending to lower his mask and act like a grown-up all of a sudden? It sure took you a lot of time keeping it inside all day long, didn't it? But you see, since you are a hypocrite and said nothing until now, you are no better than them, that's why you are mostly going to let them go with a slap on the wrist._

_**I however, am not so nice...**_

As I hear footsteps coming, Hayama turns his face towards the corridor of the café, and stand up to face the two persons he seemed to have invited.

"Yukinoshita Yukino, and Yuigahama Yui..." I say while leaning back in my chair, closing my eyes and interlacing my fingers together, taking the stance of some pathetic James Bond villain about to uncover his World domination plan to his mortal enemy, with a restrained knowing smile on my face.

"So you asked them to come here, to prove a point to those two, didn't you, **Hayama? You once again faked your way through and relapsed into your pathetic nice guy attitude to 'save the day' by defending me in front of people I don't care about and who are, might I add, less than subtly trashtalking me. You lied to these two on my left about them coming for the Student Council President matter so you could use them as a some sort of 'defense' to prove that I'm better than those dumb gooses sitting in front of me with their shocked faces?**"

By now, even Haruno is wearing the same face as everyone else except me and Hayama, because no matter how Yukinoshita Haruno tries to make a foolproof plan, she knows I'm always going to be a wild card, and act according to my own beliefs. Not only that, but she is one of the many few who knows the truth about me, and how cruel I can be. She has mostly by now come to the realization that her own plan backfired the moment I opened my mouth.

"**And then you were going to dramatically turn towards those two bitches and tell them something along the lines of** **'**_**Hikigaya's more than the kinda guy you make him out to be. He's close to a pair of girls far lovelier than you could ever hope to be. Could you stop judging books by their cover and running your mouth?**_**' Is that it?**" I send a icy glare with a knowing smile towards him from my sitting position, seeing him frozen on his spot.

"H-How do you..."

"**Oh please,_ Hayato-kun_, we don't want to make Ebina-chan's fantasy a reality and making me fall for you after that display of bravery, don't we? Don't you remember how many times you asked for my help, as part of the Service Club? Don't you remember the number of favors you owe me? And above all, have you already forgotten about our 'discussion' back in Kyoto? I was sure I made a convincing argument back there... You don't like me, and the feeling is mutual, but it's mainly because you are _jealous of me_, jealous of the fact that I can say and do whatever I like, that I have a freedom you lack. Being part of the Hayama family and being acquainted to the Yukinoshita, Your public image is always at risk, and you _crave_ the so-called freedom I possess.**"

The moment my words leave my mouth, despite everyone still being shocked by my slight outburst, Hayama's hands clench into fists and they start shaking a bit. I know, no, I knew that I had aimed and pinpointed the very problem of Hayama Hayato's existence, exposing it in broad daylight. Ah yes, it sure brings back that nostalgic feeling from Kyoto, that afternoon on the riverbank when I volontary exposed a slight crack in my mask to him. Hearing him trying to steady his breath, stopping himself from gritting his teeth in anger and punching me square in the jaw...

That sensation of control, of domination, of Power over others...

_**I LOVE IT!**_

_But hey, I can't explicitly show it now, can I? It would paint me as the manipulative villain, and ruin all my work and good acting so far. Exposing someone for the fraud he is in front of many people is enough of a punishment for him so far. I'm only telling the truth after all. However if I start showing some signs that I love this situation ever so slightly, it will be my own plan that will backfire..._

I stand up and pick my tray from the table, as I turn to face Yui and Yukino. I can already see from the corner of my eyes Haruno standing up as well on her way to join us.

"Hikki..."

The meak voice of Yui makes me sigh and I know that there are many options available to me right now, but a single one sticks out as a proper response to this impending fiasco about to happen. It is risky, but then again, I don't have much of a choice.

I take a couple of steps towards my two clubmates, stopping next to Yukino and blocking Haruno's way, closing my eyes before letting out a 'parting gift' for Hayama and Orimoto, undeer the shape of a warning or course.

"Hayama needed my personal help and without a lack of ending hour for this '_double date_', I am free to consider my contract complete and free to leave at any given moment, and right now seems quite appropriate. Hayama-_san_, don't forget this time that you owe me for the numerous favors me and the club I am a part of have done for you. On another note, _Orimoto-san_, the next time we meet, you and I will have a _**very long conversation**_..."

"Hikigaya-kun/Hikigaya-kun/Hikki-"

The three girls surrounding me all call my name at the same time, but it doesn't faze me one bit. After all, despite this small change of plan, I still know what every one of them wanted to say, and I sure as hell wouldn't let those events happen.

"Haruno-san, Yukino-shita, Yui-gahama, if you don't mind, there is a topic I would like to talk to you about, so perhaps since the four of us are gathered here, we could talk about it while we still have some time ahead of us? Oh and of course, I would rather leave this place and go further about it in a more private area, a neutral territory maybe without_** hypocrites and cowards**_..."

My voice, being smooth and chilling at the same time, gives little room for debate on the fact that I am not exactly asking or pleading for them to listen to my query, but rather that I **order** them both to follow me.

Haruno is the first one to comply when her eyes widen just a bit when she sees me slowly opening my eyelids to revealing the deadly serious face underneath the mask she has seen a handful of times by now. She nods to me, then turns towards her little sister and Yui.

Both clubmates after eyeing my glaring irises from the corner of my eyes, quickly understand that I won't back down now that I have made my mind, and soon enough, the four of us are exiting the establishment, leaving the three abashed faces of Hayama, Orimoto, and her friend.

Now outside on the sidewalk, I wave my hand for a cab to stop, and the three girls stare at me in confusion.

"If we are to talk **seriously** the four of us, and we sure as hell do, we are going to do so in a neutral place, which instantly excludes Yukino and Haruno's apartment respectively, giving us only two alternatives: My home, with Komachi probably in, or..."

"M-My house?" Yui exclaims, shocked with a blush on her cheeks.

I nod, and turn back to the road where a cab has just parked in front of us. I open the back door, and let the girls enter the vehicle, before doing the same and taking the front seat next to the driver. I ask for Yui's adress, and she gives it although a bit reluctantly, but that's good enough for the driver.

* * *

As I insist on paying the driver while the three girls are waiting outside the door of Yui's house, a thought that hadn't crossed my mind before suddently pops in my head, and I stand where the opened window of the passager's seat of the taxi had been a few seconds ago, with my hand pocketting my wallet in the back of my pants, a stupid look on my face due to the dawning realization that hit me harder than the infamous Truck-kun...

"Mama, It's me, I'm home! And... I have some friends with me..."

_Yuiga-mama!_

**_FUCK!_**


	24. Comfortably Numb

_Bubbles..._

_Bubbles are nice. Water is nice. Warm water is even better. Warm water with bubbles is a paradise!_

_Warmth has always been a guilty pleasure of mine. When I was younger I didn't had much of a problem with cold temperature and actually enjoyed winter because of the snow. Sure when it's cold enough outside, if you play with snow long enough, with or without gloves, you will get that freezing feeling crawling up from your fingers all the way up your arms, and the joy will soon transform into displeasure. _

_Then, I became more sensitive to temperature changes, and started to hate winter. Not only because I would feel that freezing feeling way more often and way more quickly as years passed, but also because of the growing lack of snow. Where I lived, or used to live, the entire region was more of a plain than anything else, and so the white winter gift gently falling from the sky would become more and more rare, to the point where I started to count behind my window how many winters it had been since I last saw and touched it._

_Seven._

_Seven long winters of constant sneezing everyday, frozen to the bone despite the heat turned on inside the small apartment, staring at the grey sky with empty eyes in the hopes that perhaps, by some sort of miracle, the white powder from the clouds would appear and cover the landscape with its thick blanket once again..._  
_Unfortunately-_

"Hikki-kun! Are you alright? Is the water warm enough?"

Ah yes, that was another memory from my past. Better give her an answer before she starts panicking.

"Yes, Yuigahama-san, everything is alright, no need to worry. I still apologize for the inconvenience though."

"Mouu~ Hikki-kun, I already told you that calling me like that makes me feel old... Come join us when done okay? Yui and your friends are enjoying talking with each other, but it also feels incomplete without Hikki-kun~."

"Very well. I was about to get out soon anyway. Thank you for understanding."

_Saori-san..._

* * *

_Flashback 30 minutes earlier_

* * *

As I still stand on the sidewalk with my back turned to the Yuigahama's house and the four females in front of the door, the taxi that drove us here turn down a corner and vanishes into the night. I end up placing my wallet down in my pocket while thinking back about what is going to happen to me when I will face _her_...

Yuigahama Yui's mom, Yuiga-mama!

I don't know her name, I don't know her age, hell I don't even know if she is married at all, because from all the memories of this fictional story I'm now a part in stored in my mind, never ONCE has a picture showed her with a ring. People who are/were married, widows even, ALWAYS wear a ring, but _she_ never had one. But that's not the biggest part of the problem...

SHE IS SEXY AS HELL!

And... Yui is her daughter.

"... :x"

_**Insert loud confused screaming here.**_

So, while I was doing a stupid face full of contemplation and paralyzed by what my eyes might see if I turn around, I didn't notice two things that I should've picked up:

1) The fact that during some time in the day, at least in this part of town, it has rained, and there was a sizeable puddle in front of the sidewalk I was standing on.

2) A vehicle, a sport car was coming our way, most likely driven by an irresponsible idiot who didn't seem to know the definition of 'speed limits'.  
Needless to explain what happened next, as if you have half a brain, and my 'luck', you had an easy time connecting the dots about what came to pass the next couple of seconds.

"HIKKI/HIKIGAYA-KUN/HIKIGAYA-KUN!"

The first thing that came to my mind when I woke up this morning was how this day was going to end with me in a bathtub, covered with water, trying to relax and think of something else but how unsufferable this 'double date' was going to be...

Now? Oh how I regret wishing for that...

I spit some water out of my mouth, and finally face the four females looking at me with wide eyes.

Thankfully, the darkness of night and my dampened wet hair sticking to my face partially cover my eyes, but my face is probably betraying my obvious displeasure.

"Excuse me, I was a bit absorbed in my own thoughts. Hikigaya '_Hachiman_', male, loner, and... currently soaked. You must be Yuigahama-san, Yui's mother I assume."

I approach the front door lift my hand to offer a lazy wave, but Yuiga-mama grab my wet hand and shake it instead, pulling me in and standing out of the way to allow the others entrance.

"You must be Hikki-kun Yui has talked me so much about-"

"MAMA!"

"Please Hikki-kun, don't call me that, it makes me feel old. Come on everyone, come inside!"

The back and forth arguing between mother and daughter starts, with an occasional pout from both parties due to further argumentation, and while the Yukinoshita sisters are also silent witnesses of the close relationship they don't have between real family members, the only thing I can process is the fact that Yuiga-mama is still holding my hand in hers, and her words.

_Don't say that in front of me ever again, Yuiga-mama. Married or not, if you say that to me one more god damned time, I'll do it! And I won't even feel bad about it!_

_I'm lusting after my classmate's mother. _

_In front of said girl and other potential love interests..._

_I'm a sick fuck!_

"Hikki-kun? Are you alright? You should get rid of your clothes or you are going to catch a cold. Come, I will show you the way to the bathroom and give you a change of clothes."

_Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!_

_**YES!**_

"Oh my god! Mama! I'll do it and in the meantime, ehm... Yeah, you can talk a bit with Yukinon and Haruno-san! Come on Hikki, you gotta take a shower before you catch a cold." Yui exclaims while grabbing my hand out of her mother's, and directs me towards the bathroom.

Perhaps no one has noticed that I have been reduced to a mute drone following whoever was leading me by the wrist, much to my great joy but equally as great confusion.

When I manage to get a hold of my pitiful self and take a look around me, I'm standing in the entrance of the bathroom, with Yui crouched in front of a cabinet, searching for a towel in a drawer.

"Hey, Yui..."

I see her stopping her search, and turning her head to stare back at me, with a surprised face.

"Hey Hikki! I thought you had another episode for a moment down there. You scared me you know..." She speaks while pouting cutely. The blush on her cheeks makes her looking even more adorable, for some reason...

_Oh, I see..._

"I'm sorry if I'm intruding in your house and your family's private life but, your father isn't home right now, is he? I know it's not that late, but..."

I don't know exactly why my words keep coming out of my mouth, but what I do know is that I am only to shut up when I see her face turning sour.

I crouch to her level, and reach her left cheek with my right hand, brushing aside a few strands of her hair as she tries to look away, probably out of embarassment.

"He doesn't live with you, and you don't have the best of relationship with him, do you? Your mother isn't wearing a ring on her finger, so I can only assume you were born out of wedlock. There's nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, I wonder if it's something us Gemini do share with one another..." I gently cup her cheek and lift my gaze to stare at the ceiling, feeling her face moving back towards me through the skin contact of my open palm.

"What do you mean Hikki?" She asks me, her voice soft and quiet, yet a bit shocked from what I can pick up.

"My parents never married, they split up 6 months after I was born, I grew up for the first 10 years of my life with my mother and her new boyfriend at the time, the best years of my life. Then they too, split up. As I kept growing, I developped a hate-filled relationship against both_ father_ and _mother_, things happened and words were said, and I vowed to myself to never ending like them... Another promise I failed to realize. If I am right about my assumption on you and your mother, then you and I have more in common than what we first thought, Yui."

I can help but lower my eyes to her level and stare into her red orbs, shimmering with the light above us. She unexpectedly leans her face into my palm more, and her smile comes back to life, even if it's a smaller one.

"Hikki... Damian..."

My name?

_She just... said my name?_

I feel her warm hand placing itself on top of mine, and her other one brushing my hair out of my face, the two red irises now half-lidded, coming closer and closer to me...

"Yui... I want it too... but it won't be my-"

"I know. But it will be my first, and it will be with you. That's so much more than what I ever dreamed of..."

Less than an inch away, we stare at each other, and she reciprocates my gesture by placing her free hand on my left cheek, until the two pair of lips crashes to form one.

The fingers of my right and her left one entangle themselves naturally, as if they were meant to belong together, and we slowly drift into a tranquil dimension of our own, taking our sweet time to explore each other.

We pull away from one another after a good minute or two, and her face, her eyes, her entire body is glowing, radiating warmth and happiness. This sweet, cute and adorable teenage girl got her first kiss, from then man she has feelings for, the one she loves, and it can be seen in her fuzzy red orbs that she loved every single second of the delightful kiss. If it had been just the two of us in her house, we would probably be going into her room now to let the magic of the moment carrying us into even more blissful moments and memories.

"I'm sorry that I'm having trouble with wording my thoughts right now Yui, but I think, I hope that you got the message I was trying to convey through this... shared gesture..." I say with a low and soft voice, unknowingly having a light blush on my cheeks, and soon enough the girl in front of me give me another kiss, a shorter one, while repeating the same words she said to me not so long ago, when she confronted me at school, before going to the clubroom.

_'How am I supposed to love someone who hurts himself?'_

_Love..._

_I love you._

With a radiant and wide smile, she holds my hand in hers, and exits silently the bathroom, leaving me inside with a faint smile of my own on my uncovered face. Two clean towels are on top of the wooden cabinet, and down next to it are a basket and my schoolbag, which thankfully has been spared by the miniature tsunami that washed me.

I think for a second if it has been another pure coincidence and was just lucky, or if I had been unknowingly clever to pick my favorite _casual_ clothes from the clubroom's closet. My phone was also inside which prevented me from losing valuable informations and... memories.

I sigh and shake my head as I undress myself, getting rid of the stupid Sobu uniform, even if it is black. A sober and dark color, way preferable to others like Orimoto's dark blue from Kaihin, or whatever else.

I wrap one towel around my waist, and place the other over my neck, washing myself first before entering the bathtub filled three quarters of the way with warm water.

As soon as I place one foot inside, careful to not slip and hurt myself for real this time, I am instantly comforted by the liquid warmth and waste no time sinking entirely in.

* * *

_End of flashback_

* * *

_I really enjoyed the water so much that I pretty much dozed off... And didn't heard Yui's mo-_

_Saori..._

_Her name is Saori. And she passed down to her daughter her indredible genetics._

How did I knew the name of the woman who was overlapping with her own daughter in my blurry thoughts?

Well, I didn't pry too much, but it simply was written on the recipient containing her toothbrush, next to Yui's. And again, considering there were only those two on the wooden shelf, that pretty much confirmed my previous suspicion that Yui's father wasn't living with them.

Saori... That's a beautiful name. And I can also deduce that she chose Yui's based on her own.

It took me a good minute to pick up my phone from inside of my bag and search on the internet, but once I found the page, I felt myself smiling at what I saw on the screen.

_'Saori name means "red flowing silk" or "white, floating lily". Saori can be written with a variety of kanji, but it usually means "nicely woven cloth" . It means blossom that blooms in any season like a flower that is in spring and autumn.'_

_'The name Yui means Elegant Cloth and is of Japanese origin. Yui is a name that's been used primarily by parents who are considering baby names for girls.'_

_Nicely woven cloth, and Elegant cloth? Heh, since I've never been good in Japanese, I guess I'll have to trust the internet on this one. And indeed, elegant and nicely shaped/woven is a pretty accurate way to describe those two cute women, mother and daughter._

_...I truly am fucked up in that head of mine!_

Sighing one more time, which by now seems to have become a habit, I climb out of the bathtub and let the water go down the drain. I can't help but stare down at it as it swirls and disappear bit by bit. I wouldn't be able to put it into words, like some of my more personal thoughts from earlier, but it feels as if, in a weird way, a part of me, a dark part of my past has been stripped from me and is now sinking in the depths of the city sewers, never to reemerge again...

I barely feel changed, or lighter, or anything peculiar. I look at my reflection in the mirror and I don't look any different from before, the same Hikigaya Hachiman face except for a few features that belong to me, like my red-brownish eyes, slightly more expressive and less dead-fish eyed than his grey ones. My hair are also an inch or two longer, and a lighter shade of black than his near jet-black.  
Aside from those very small changes, I am still very much Hikigaya Hachiman, physically speaking.

_AAAAAAH! Too much thinking! Stop that and get your ass of the bathroom now!_

Yeah, I've been rambling long enough in that head of mine.

* * *

The sound of a pair of slippers can be heard throughout the Yuigahama household, along with a clinging. Four pairs of eyes turn to stare at the freshly cleaned and clothed shape of the person known to the public eye, at least legally, as Hikigaya Hachiman.

Midnight blue baggy t-shirt with white trim around the collar and the edges of the sleeves, equally large black cargo pants with multiple pockets, two thin chains dangling from the right side of his hip reaching past his knee, face cleaned of makeup exposing his real facial features, disheveled middle-length hair, bored look with his lips ever so slightly pursed.

Of course, three of the four women already knew of this very perticular look, but it still brought a blush to their cheeks due to how good he looked no matter the clothes or expression.

To many others, they would keep thinking that it's the same old Hikigaya Hachiman, only trying to look _cool_ to attract attention, but seriously, why doing that if you're fine by yourself, as a loner? That would be kind of a stupid thing to do.

Heh, people are stupid, so it wouldn't really be surprising that they would believe that...

The only one who was shocked in fact, and didn't recognised the same male who passed through the front door half an hour ago was...Sablé!

Yui's dog was staring at the laid-back, slouched posture of this guy standing in front of him, and staring down at the pet, possibly with an equal amount of confusion between the two.

* * *

"Hmm? Sablé? You don't recognise me boy? It's me, Hikki. You do remember Hikki the Sloth, the lazy-ass, the always-annoyed guy, do you?"

I stare at the dog as I squat like a true slav in front of him, at present my hand slowly for him to sniff it. I can see his eyes moving from mine, to my hand, then back to me. It takes a couple of seconds, and a quick few sniffing motions from his snout, but he do seems to remember my smell, and jump straight in my lap, standing on his back legs to lick my face affectionately.

"OK OK! TIME OUT! I JUST GOT CLEANED! DAMMIT BOY, FIRST I TAKE A TSUNAMI TO THE FACE, THEN I WASH MYSELF UP, AND NOW YOU LICK ME! IS IT 'WATER DAY FOR HIKKI TODAY' OR WHAT?"

A few non-discreet giggles around the wooden table soon turn out into laughter due to my outburst, and if there ever was some tension before, because of what they were probably talking about, then it vanished into nothingness in the blink of an eye. And if the ambiance was good to begin with, it became even better.

"It looks like little Sablé here didn't recognised you without your usual makeup Hikki-kun." Saori giggled to herself as I lift my eyes and see a bright smile on her face, quite comparable with the one Yui wore after our intimate interaction in the bathroom.

I chuckle to myself and let out a small smirk while petting the dog now comfortably sitting in my lap.

_Wait, am I a dog seat now?_

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure no one would think that's what lies beneath the face of Hikigaya Hachiman that people see everyday, whether at school or in town."

"You don't say, _Hikigaya-kun~_. Do you remember how I reacted the first time you showed me?"

_Of course I didn't forget Haruno... I even spent the night at your apartment, in your bed, with you using me as your body pillow! _

_Which was actually quite nice and warm... ANYWAY!_

I nod to the elder Yukinoshita sister with a small wince and playfully narrowed eyes to fake anger, but being the smart one she is, she keeps giggling too and understand that my reaction was an actual acknowledgment.

"Yui has been talking about you for a long time Hikki-kun, sorry, Damian-kun."

The use of my real name tips me a bit, but a quick shout from Yui and the creeping blush on her cheeks instantly tells me that since she doesn't have a lot of people to _truly_ speak to, and because of how close she is with her mother, she may have told the truth about me.

I shrug my shoulders and pick up Sablé, pushing a chair with my foot carefully, sitting on the object before placing the little rascal back on his impovised seat, AKA my lap.

"It's okay Yui." I reassure the girl with a disarming calm and small smile, seemingly doing the job as she instantly pout cutely and starts poking her fingers together.

"Technically speaking, since we are only a few years apart, I don't mind people I trust using my real name. And if your daughter trusts you with this kind of information, I trust you as well. That said, if you call me by my name, I want us to be on equal footing and be able to call you by your name too, Saori-san. Is this selfish request of mine agreeable?" I speak with clarity and sincerity, staring in the eyes of the woman who offers me a kind smile, and a happy nod.

"Of course~! Now now, I heard from Yui that you have had a rough past, but do you mind telling me more about yourself, please? I don't know why, but I'm so giddy I feel like being a high schooler again~!" Saori exclaims full of joy and excitement, making me raise my eyebrows before reminding myself that it must be a trait of hers she passed down to Yui.

"You still look young enough to be in your last year of college, or mid-university to be honest, Saori-san. **Anyway, where should I begin?**"


End file.
